Your significant other's apathy...

[Nid]

...try to turn the Ms. into phil elmore

::shudder::

[Teh El Macho]

Women are really retarded in some ways. Sorry to say it. They like to do stupid shit like jogging to the park at 9PM with freaking headphones. Their ability to live in la-la land irritates me to no end sometimes, and if you try to beat some sense of awareness (just plain common sense and care), they dismiss what you have to say.

Yrkoon, have you considered taking this issue with a relationship counselor? Believe it or not, she may be more willing to pay attention to what you are saying if a 3rd party (a counselor) is on the same page with you.

Significant others sometimes get too accostumed to do their own things and have their own way within the confine of their relationships. It is all too common for one spouse to "not pay attention" when their SO suggest a change in their way of life, even if it makes sense.

A counselor that can hear from you both, and where you make your case (which makes 100% sense) should help both of you. Think about it.


And for the few out there who think he's being paranoid, fuck no. He's not. You don't need to live in the middle of a dilapidated gang war zone, nor go Phill Elmore to understand the need for home safety. I have four sisters (one of them just recently passed away), and plenty of female friends. And all of them, by no flaw of their own have had to deal with a potentially dangerous freak. It happens in school and at work.

It is not about being paranoid. It's about being safe, about not walking dogs or jog alone in the middle of the night. It's about never leaving the doors unlocked, never. By the way we raise kids, women are usually more sheltered from physical violence and as a result tend to be quite naive and rosy-colored. This is a fact.

Being safe =/= being paranoid.

[Mas]

Also a good book is "the gift of fear" which is about trusting your gut and recognizine techniques that baddies use to put you at ease.

Irony?


I know this has been mentioned before, but really the real reason you're pissed about this is because you (most likely) care about her, and really just manifesting in frustration. I'd just tell her that.

By the way getting people to "kidnap" her or whatever is the worst idea in the vast history of ideas. So, a pox on he who brought it up.

Good luck working on that though, here's hoping you get through to her.

[Nid]

Also a good book is "the gift of fear" which is about trusting your gut and recognizine techniques that baddies use to put you at ease.

Like car salesmen. Damn.

[PirateJon]

It is not about being paranoid. It's about being safe, about not walking dogs or jog alone in the middle of the night. It's about never leaving the doors unlocked, never. By the way we raise kids, women are usually more sheltered from physical violence and as a result tend to be quite naive and rosy-colored. This is a fact.

Being safe =/= being paranoid.

That's the thing. she obviously doesn't consider her behavior to be unsafe, or she wouldn't do it. And if you're already safe, why add more stuff to reduce the minimal risk even more? You wouldn't. Example - would i be "safer" if I did a tactical sweep of my house everytime I came home? Sure. Do i need to? No.

Now I'm not saying she's right, just that's proabably how she views it. You can try to get her to re-evaluate her risk (see that book) so she chooses to have more security or you can ask her to adjust her behavior to put you at ease. I'd go with #2.


book - https://www.gavindebecker.com/books-gof.cfm. It's a good read.

[Neildo]

http://www.gundoghousedoor.com/

[Neildo]

oh that tears it. red dots for you sir.

[Chili Pepper]

Well, you could always try to get her into a weapon martial art like Kali :) .. then just give her a knife and pray that she chooses to fillet the bastard if she's anti-gun.

I get all misty every time I think about Frau Chili Pepper answering the door with her 8-inch chef's knife in hand...

Unfortunately, ain't got no advice. If she isn't defence-minded, it is unlikely that you'll be able to make her so.