Your significant other's apathy...

[chingythingy]

Yrkoon9,

In my opinion, with the little lady it's a matter of you need to attract bees with honey not vinegar. A direct approach of getting into it with her is more the vinegar aspect. Although I will say you probably won points with her in that argument because she can see that you passionately care about her and her safety regardless of lecturing the phone and your approach.

The honey approach would be more along the lines of apologizing for yelling at her or arguing with her about it, and saying you just did that because of how much you care and that her safety keeps you up at night worrying. Ask if she'd just do a few things for safety's sake to put your mind at ease so you don't worry.

I am not prepared to Sigmund Freud the whole deployment thing like others seem to, although I will say having a strong support group like family and/or close friends who are good people to spend a lot of time with helps.

Best wishes to you guys.

[fanatical]

What the hell are you trying to say? Why can't everyone just speak American god dammit. It'd make world domination a whole lot simpler.

I suggested that yrkoon should get some people together and make a mock-robbery! This way she would definately learn.

I'm only robbing you because I love you baby!

[DCS]

Yrkoon9,

She's so scared about you not being at home, the rough vecinity, the need of all those "safety devices" at home.... that made her to develop some kind of denial as a psichological defense mechanism.

[It is Fake]

Take her keys without her knowing. It'll fuck up her morning when she wants to go shopping or is late dropping the kids off or whatever it is she does. I live in a community that until recently was mostly retired people. The community is gated with patrols and on call security 24/7. So people got relaxed. They leave their keys in their cars, their houses unlocked, and valuables out. Last month 4 cars were taken for joy rides, one ended up in the creek. A few petty thefts and B&Es this last year too.

Oh I have. It works for about 2-3 months and then the BS starts again.

Ha, I'll let her read this and see what she says.

She came from one of those small ass towns where everyone knows everyone.

I tried explaining to her about certain things and it takes scary shit to get her to listen. When we first started dating she would leave her front door open. I told her the scary rape stories and why you can't do that in the big city. Don't leave your door unlocked. Don't let repairmen in unless the complex assigns a day and time. Check credentials all of the paranoia crap.

Not a week later a guy came to the door saying he needed to check the roof. Because of our little talk she didn't. A woman was raped by possibly the same guy, pulling the same stunt, in the same complex a few days later.

[Odacon]

Some people are just careless, it's a personality thing. Even if they get robbed or something they're back to their old habits a few months later.

[fanatical]

Take her keys without her knowing. It'll fuck up her morning when she wants to go shopping or is late dropping the kids off or whatever it is she does. I live in a community that until recently was mostly retired people. The community is gated with patrols and on call security 24/7. So people got relaxed. They leave their keys in their cars, their houses unlocked, and valuables out. Last month 4 cars were taken for joy rides, one ended up in the creek. A few petty thefts and B&Es this last year too.

See? My plan as well. Some people learn the hard way, so let's do it the "easy" hard way.

[It is Fake]

Sometimes, people just learn the hard way. Maybe have your friends get masked break in and rough her up.

Yep. My wife left her purse in the car so she wouldn't have to look for it, I told her she didn't listen it was stolen twice.

Sad thing it was re-establishing credit not the personal information that stopped her from leaving shit in the car.

We now have a garage and she leaves the fucking keys in the car WTF?


Some people just don't care.

Men and women.

[Goju - Joe]

If your neighbourhood is the issue is moving somewhere better an option?

[fanatical]

I'm not a fan of women. I'm a bit misogynist, but in the end, I enjoy the vagina, so what can I do?

With this in mind, I wouldn't give a rats ass what a woman thought and I'd gladly think of even chicks I care about as mindless drones whom I have a much better understanding of the world around us than they do.

However, you seem emotionally attached in such a way that this will be important for you. Keeping her safe I mean. I think this is one of those times where you need to be a bitch and tell her that unless she's safe, you'll feel like shit. One of the reasons she chose you is most likely because you're half-paranoid and want to protect her like crazy, so I doubt telling her to wisen up or you will go insane, can be a bad thing. If nothing else works, hire someone to assault her without harming her and tell her you told her so afterwards :)

[Truculent Sheep]

The best way to view it is see the matter from her perspective. Why does she think like that? Why does she get so stubborn? Plus, no one likes a nagging husband/wife/partner/parent, especially if they're making you feel like a child. Imagine how you would feel in her place?

Your house seems to be pretty much zombie-proof, but until such time that the dead walk the earth, are all those precautions really necessary? Maybe she feels claustrophobic? Or to put it another way, maybe you just need to learn how to trust her?

My apologies for being so presumptuous here. But there needs to be dialogue, not monologue.

[Nid]

Subconciously she is hoping for something to happen , so she can hold it over your head to punish you for being gone so much.

That's very presumptuous. Most women are like Mrs. Yrkoon. Relying on a simple house alarm and 911.

Bad situations and mean people ALL UP IN YO FACE* are just unpleasant to think about.

*Like Julia Stiles.

[HonkyTonkMan]

But maybe she doesn't listen to your safety concerns because, as you put it, they're about you not being there. Something she might not want to pay attention to. So she doesn't.

I agree.

Subconciously she is hoping for something to happen , so she can hold it over your head to punish you for being gone so much.
It could also be plain rebellion against you for the same reason I mentioned above.

MOM34 is fairly safety concious. She sets the alarm when she is in the house alone. Doesnt leave blinds open at night. Knows how to and WILL use the .38 I got her for around the house.
However, this came about from years (we have been togehter since 1988) of harping on her about safety.

Your approach is all wrong IMO.

I am sure you have done this but, simply appeal to her that the reason you would like for her to follow your "safety advice" is to make sure you will come home and find her happy and healthy. Tell her that you love her and cant live without her. You know that you are gone a lot, so you feel that you cant always be there to protect the most important thing in your life. Thats why you do all of the things she finds petty or useless safety wise.
Tell her that if she doesant want to bother then ok, you understand, you only take the precautions out of love.

THEN DONT EVER BRING IT UP AGAIN.

[shmuel]

Does anyone here have a wife or girlfriend that leaves the car engine running unattended in the morning to warm the car up?

Drives me fucking insane!

[colonelpong2]

Im with dayoung, on the whole.

But, you could come off as a little paranoid..

How big are her dogs and what breed?

[NunOnBreak]

Dayoung's advice sounds good to me.

Wait until Yrkoon9 gets the bill.

I have somewhat of an 'issue' in the same vein. Now that my wife has been taking kajukenbo for a while, she has told me she wants someone to jump her because she thinks she is a badass now and wants to use her skills.

She is 5'9" and weighs 110 pounds. Obviously that doesn't translate into a power puncher, especially considering that she is female. At least she doesn't go looking for a fight or hang out in alleys, and our neighborhood is very safe.