Your significant other's apathy...

[Goju - Joe]

If your neighbourhood is the issue is moving somewhere better an option?

[It is Fake]

Sometimes, people just learn the hard way. Maybe have your friends get masked break in and rough her up.

Yep. My wife left her purse in the car so she wouldn't have to look for it, I told her she didn't listen it was stolen twice.

Sad thing it was re-establishing credit not the personal information that stopped her from leaving shit in the car.

We now have a garage and she leaves the fucking keys in the car WTF?


Some people just don't care.

Men and women.

[fanatical]

Take her keys without her knowing. It'll fuck up her morning when she wants to go shopping or is late dropping the kids off or whatever it is she does. I live in a community that until recently was mostly retired people. The community is gated with patrols and on call security 24/7. So people got relaxed. They leave their keys in their cars, their houses unlocked, and valuables out. Last month 4 cars were taken for joy rides, one ended up in the creek. A few petty thefts and B&Es this last year too.

See? My plan as well. Some people learn the hard way, so let's do it the "easy" hard way.

[Odacon]

Some people are just careless, it's a personality thing. Even if they get robbed or something they're back to their old habits a few months later.

[It is Fake]

Take her keys without her knowing. It'll fuck up her morning when she wants to go shopping or is late dropping the kids off or whatever it is she does. I live in a community that until recently was mostly retired people. The community is gated with patrols and on call security 24/7. So people got relaxed. They leave their keys in their cars, their houses unlocked, and valuables out. Last month 4 cars were taken for joy rides, one ended up in the creek. A few petty thefts and B&Es this last year too.

Oh I have. It works for about 2-3 months and then the BS starts again.

Ha, I'll let her read this and see what she says.

She came from one of those small ass towns where everyone knows everyone.

I tried explaining to her about certain things and it takes scary shit to get her to listen. When we first started dating she would leave her front door open. I told her the scary rape stories and why you can't do that in the big city. Don't leave your door unlocked. Don't let repairmen in unless the complex assigns a day and time. Check credentials all of the paranoia crap.

Not a week later a guy came to the door saying he needed to check the roof. Because of our little talk she didn't. A woman was raped by possibly the same guy, pulling the same stunt, in the same complex a few days later.

[DCS]

Yrkoon9,

She's so scared about you not being at home, the rough vecinity, the need of all those "safety devices" at home.... that made her to develop some kind of denial as a psichological defense mechanism.

[fanatical]

What the hell are you trying to say? Why can't everyone just speak American god dammit. It'd make world domination a whole lot simpler.

I suggested that yrkoon should get some people together and make a mock-robbery! This way she would definately learn.

I'm only robbing you because I love you baby!

[chingythingy]

Yrkoon9,

In my opinion, with the little lady it's a matter of you need to attract bees with honey not vinegar. A direct approach of getting into it with her is more the vinegar aspect. Although I will say you probably won points with her in that argument because she can see that you passionately care about her and her safety regardless of lecturing the phone and your approach.

The honey approach would be more along the lines of apologizing for yelling at her or arguing with her about it, and saying you just did that because of how much you care and that her safety keeps you up at night worrying. Ask if she'd just do a few things for safety's sake to put your mind at ease so you don't worry.

I am not prepared to Sigmund Freud the whole deployment thing like others seem to, although I will say having a strong support group like family and/or close friends who are good people to spend a lot of time with helps.

Best wishes to you guys.

[chingythingy]

I tried explaining to her about certain things and it takes scary shit to get her to listen. When we first started dating she would leave her front door open. I told her the scary rape stories and why you can't do that in the big city. Don't leave your door unlocked. Don't let repairmen in unless the complex assigns a day and time. Check credentials all of the paranoia crap.

My wife, on the other end of the spectrum, locks me out when I go to the mailbox. She grew up in a big city.

[Lebell]

I suggested that yrkoon should get some people together and make a mock-robbery! This way she would definately learn.

I'm only robbing you because I love you baby!

youre advising yrkoon right into his divorce....diabolical....

[It is Fake]

My wife, on the other end of the spectrum, locks me out when I go to the mailbox. She grew up in a big city.

Wow, my type of paranoia.

I think much of it does come from where you are raised. I got her to stop leaving the car running, lock the doors on the car, no shopping late night, parking the car as close to the front as possible etc. etc.

I think it stems from the whole "my home is my castle" therefore we are safe. That's why I think it is less about gender.

A former instructor at my old school had 3,000+ stolen out of his car because, he left it in his car, in the driveway.

So, even though some of the other things irritate me I'm winning the war.

[saturnjunkie]

Take her to the range and show her how much fun a handgun can be.

That's all it took for mine :)

She was scared to death as we pulled up to the range. She stayed in the car until everyone else left or was leaving. I set up some targets, she took aim, and fired. Completely missed her first few shots. Then, she started getting into it.. and 100 rounds of 45 acp later she's now talking about how if anyone ever breaks in they're going to get shot.

<3

In your case; if you really want to have a mock break in, don't have friends do it... have these guys do it:

http://dsc.discovery.com/fansites/it...bios/bios.html

[fanatical]

youre advising yrkoon right into his divorce....diabolical....

I give yrkoon's intelligence more credit than that :P I doubt he takes my advice to heart :P

[Snake Plissken]

Really wide-sweeping generalization time here:

I think it comes partially from the fact that as a rule, we as men are more liable to get into physical confrontations then ladies, hence we are usually more prepared for said physical confrontation. We, as men, know how scummy our gender can be and usually are distrustful of other men. We try, as is proven by this boards existance, to be physically and mentally ready in any event.

Women, dealing with other women, *usually* don't get into physical confrontations. Granted sometimes they do...some women do....but usually it's word-play and overall bitchy-ness. They are less apt to fight then we are, so they usually don't take as much stock in that form of preparedness as we men do.

Until my wife had a problem with a kook (before my meeting her and her marrying a kook), she was a little more on the lax security side. Now: extra locks on the house, alarm, cameras outside the home, she owns three stun guns (one on her side of the bed to stave off romantic approaches), a kubaton keychain, balisong, pen-knife and is taking MA classes. She's small (5'3" 110lbs) and realizes that physically she would have a REAL difficult time taking down a man, but at least she can react, hopefully nuetralize the situation enough to get away and then...get away. Whatever she can grab and use from the aforementioned list the better.

It took her having a problem to get serious. Before it was always "I can take care of myself"....until she realized she couldn't. I really don't think anyone on here wants your situation to get to the point of "I told you so" and obviously neither do you. Your phycial absence from the home makes it all the more frustrating.

1) Is there some form of military spouse's group your wife is a member of and if so can you get local law enforcement or a local MA studio to put on some form of rudimentary women's self-defense classes. Yeah, yeah....many consider them a joke, but at least a seed can be planted.
2) Are any of your buddies into MA? Get their wife or girlfriend and your wife into something together. Again, some consider it a joke but at least she won't be alone.
3) Get an alarm system....she will be less likely to leave the patio door open. Since you spent the money for the damn alarm, she might be more likely to use it.
4) Get a security camera system. They are actually kinda cool.
5) Most self-defense things (like guns) are made for men and are intimidating. Ask a local dealer what is usually popular with ladies and take your wife to a shooting range where she can try a *pretty* gun.
6) All else fails, tell her you will be paying, out of the vacation fund, for security partols around the house....either that or forcing her to watch the Lifetime Movie Network for 3-months straight...nothing like movies of women in peril who rise-up and smack-down the oppressor.

I agree with most of the other posters....the more you try and force her in doing this, the less likely she will just out of sheer independance.

[JohnnyCache]

You have to make this about you, if you want her to listen to it. If you make it an attack on her, where she's careless, etc, then it's you swooping into the home you left her in charge of, telling her what to do in it, and heading out again.

Make it something she can do to help you. Make it clear that you thought about these things when you were home, as well, and you want to know if she thinks about them as well, rather then "Me the protector. Me no here. How you get protect?"

You have to say the same things, but basically in a sort of womanese that remains untranslated at this time. Good luck.