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    Ninja Death Squid

    Ninja Death Squid throughout history (or, Blame the Ninja)

    Psst! Hey, you...ca'mere. I wanna tell you something.
    You know who killed Bruce Lee? It was the Ninja Death Squid. Seriously. See, the Ninja Death Squid are bad mother-fuckers, man...you don't even know. You thought Ashida Kim was a badass? Shit, you have no idea. These fuckers are worse than the Illuminati. They're fucking global, man, and they fight harder than a room full of 'chunners who've ODed on valium. Lemme break it down for you:

    October, 2005. A Ninja Death Squid was a little constipated while using a public restroom in Pakistan. He pushed too far and dropped a load that penetrated the crust of the earth, setting off an earthquake that hit 7.6 on the Richter scale.

    December, 2004 - A Ninja Death Squid was swimming in the ocean (they do that sometimes) off the coast of India. He farted (they do that, too). Next thing you know, a tsunami kills 200,000 people.

    A small group of Ninja Death Squid were messin' around with a kid's chemistry set. They invented SARS. They were trying to recreate an experiment perfected by another Ninja Death Squid in 1918.

    But it's the historical shit that's really scary.

    In 1846, a Ninja Death Squid living in Ireland decided to bulk up a little. Next thing you know, a potato famine. No shit.

    Around the 1300s, a group of Ninja Death Squid went completely loco - they've become known as the Black Death.

    John Wilkes Booth? Yeah, he was the fall guy. Lincoln was taken out by a Ninja Death Squid.

    But enough of me talking - This is the thread where you can share YOUR stories. How have the Ninja Death Squid touched your life? Know any interesting historical tidbits? Throw them in here.

    But remember, the first rule of the Ninja Death Squid is that you DON'T talk about the Ninja Death Squid. Typing is okay, though.
    "Reason is a choice. Wishes and whims are not facts, nor are they a means to discovering them. Reason is our only way to grasping reality -- it's our basic tool of survival. We are free to evade the effort of thinking, to reject reason, but we are not free to avoid the penalty of the abyss we refuse to see."
    - Terry Goodkind, "Faith of the Fallen"

    #2
    can i have a ninja death squid avatar? Preferably with a top knot and a japanese flag bandana and a katana?

    Comment


      #3
      I'll get one uploaded for you this weekend.
      "Reason is a choice. Wishes and whims are not facts, nor are they a means to discovering them. Reason is our only way to grasping reality -- it's our basic tool of survival. We are free to evade the effort of thinking, to reject reason, but we are not free to avoid the penalty of the abyss we refuse to see."
      - Terry Goodkind, "Faith of the Fallen"

      Comment


        #4
        Death Squid....f_cked up Kirk Douglas' submarine in 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.....

        They are NOT to be trifled with.
        SEANBABY:
        "The seventh law of thermodynamics is that every time a fat person gets near a trapdoor, they fall in. Itís the closest thing we have to scientific proof of God."

        Comment


          #5
          New from Japan: GIANT Ninja death squid.
          :new_all_c

          Comment


            #6
            Eh, a true Ninja Death Squid would never be captured on camera. Such capture is shameful and requires ritual mortification of the body and soul, which for Ninja Death Squid involves watching censored reruns of Bay Watch.
            "Reason is a choice. Wishes and whims are not facts, nor are they a means to discovering them. Reason is our only way to grasping reality -- it's our basic tool of survival. We are free to evade the effort of thinking, to reject reason, but we are not free to avoid the penalty of the abyss we refuse to see."
            - Terry Goodkind, "Faith of the Fallen"

            Comment


              #7
              You have no idea the trouble the Japanese scientists had to go through to get that footage.
              :new_all_c

              Comment


                #8
                The legendary Kracken- Ninja death squid

                The loch ness monster- Ninja death squid

                Fall of the Roman empire - Ninja death squid ( they hate togas)

                Bigfoot- Ninja death squid (thats why there are no pictures)

                Mt Vesuvius - Ninja death squid and spicy thai food

                The Lost city of Atlantis - You don't want the Ninja death squid to find out where you live

                Stonehenge - Ancient Dojo of the Ninja death squid

                The San Andreas Fault - Long term revenge project against Badsifu/ Nuck Chorris
                Irritate the Ninja death squid at your peril.

                Skylab falling- The Ninja death squid won't tolerate spying.

                Dick Chaney shots companion in face- Near miss by the Ninja death squid
                (obviously just a warning)



                Have I earned my Ninja death squid Avatar and secret decoder ring yet?
                If you can't laugh at yourself,
                Others will be happy to do it for you. :evil6:

                The 2 most abundant elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.


                Comment


                  #9
                  Rare photographic evidence of a rogue member of

                  The Ninja Death Squid
                  Attached Files
                  If you can't laugh at yourself,
                  Others will be happy to do it for you. :evil6:

                  The 2 most abundant elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.


                  Comment


                    #10
                    This is excellent. I have known all along that all my problems in life have been caused by ninja, but I never knew that the Ninja Death Squid was behind it all. Tell me, are lesser ninjers controlled and directed by the Ninja Death Squid? Is Ashida Kim a joke that the Ninja Death Squid are perpetuating on the MA community, or is he a clever distraction so that no one will notice their true machinations? My car recently died, was this the result of Ninja Death Squid?
                    Mushi mo atsui hodo
                    Mushiatsui

                    Originally Posted by chuey
                    ...Well fuck if that isn't the most anti-Mr. Miyagi shit I have heard in ages.

                    Two wrongs don't make a right, but
                    Three rights make a left.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Historical evidence of

                      The Ninja Death Squid

                      ( when I tried to contact my source for more information,)
                      (he had mysteriously dissappeared)
                      Attached Files
                      If you can't laugh at yourself,
                      Others will be happy to do it for you. :evil6:

                      The 2 most abundant elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.


                      Comment


                        #12
                        No one expects The Ninja In-squid -sition...
                        Attached Files
                        If you can't laugh at yourself,
                        Others will be happy to do it for you. :evil6:

                        The 2 most abundant elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.


                        Comment


                          #13
                          Fickle, well done, sir. You have certainly earned a Ninja Death Squid avatar! Any special requests?

                          Originally posted by Tea
                          Tell me, are lesser ninjers controlled and directed by the Ninja Death Squid? Is Ashida Kim a joke that the Ninja Death Squid are perpetuating on the MA community, or is he a clever distraction so that no one will notice their true machinations? My car recently died, was this the result of Ninja Death Squid
                          The Ninja Death Squid claim no responsibility, of course. We can neither confirm nor deny any of your requests...except the one about Ashida Kim. He's a joke. Even the LARPing little seahorses laugh at that guy. Now, seek no more into the mystery that is the Ninja Death Squid, else you be the target of a masterfully thrown chinese-starfish. Unless, of course, you want to join the ranks...
                          "Reason is a choice. Wishes and whims are not facts, nor are they a means to discovering them. Reason is our only way to grasping reality -- it's our basic tool of survival. We are free to evade the effort of thinking, to reject reason, but we are not free to avoid the penalty of the abyss we refuse to see."
                          - Terry Goodkind, "Faith of the Fallen"

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by Axelton
                            can i have a ninja death squid avatar? Preferably with a top knot and a japanese flag bandana and a katana?

                            No. You are a dick. No dicks allowed.

                            Sorry, buh bye.


                            :)

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Okay, we need to set CRITERIA to allow new Ninja Death Squid people...so help me out here, people:

                              1 - Supporting member. I'm going to do my bit to throw Phrost and company a little more business (and not just 'cause I'm scared of Omega, either!).

                              What else? This is all in good fun, so I don't want to be a dick about this (otherwise oldman would toss me out of the group).
                              "Reason is a choice. Wishes and whims are not facts, nor are they a means to discovering them. Reason is our only way to grasping reality -- it's our basic tool of survival. We are free to evade the effort of thinking, to reject reason, but we are not free to avoid the penalty of the abyss we refuse to see."
                              - Terry Goodkind, "Faith of the Fallen"

                              Comment

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