Bestest youtube quotes about martial arts

[Sokaku]

Damnit sometimes on youtube you can find jewels like this one:

I like van damme too but Segal is a killing machine, Akito is a form intended to to massive damage. Akito is not meant to defend yourself it's meant to break bones and to maximum damage much like judo. In the movies his moves actually have to be done in slow motion because he is simply that fast that on film it dont look right.

taken here.

So come on, share yours, I'm sure it will make us laugh for at least a minute!

[no_god]

Im at a loss of words.
Heres some comments on my Mind, Body and kick ass moves videso Ive uploaded.

On Dim mak:

Typical westerners are so spiritualy out of touch that they knock anything that seems "weird" or "supernatural". The fact is that western culture is a very unhealthy culture. Our doctors dont know shit about curing diseases or they dont want to, but chi has been known to heal blind men and cure cancer.

The westerners are so ignorant. You've got no idea of the potential of martials arts. Any of them, including dim mak. Martial arts was supposed to stay within chinese culture, and remain there. Because of people like bruce lee it has been exposed to the world, but many masters are still keeping very quiet. This guy probably showed of 1/10th of what he can actually do. Dont judge the art by watching a 6 min video. Ty good bye

On Ninjitsu:

*sigh at most people's comments* Those trained as an assasin/ninjitsu/special forces - navy seal, green beret, ranger; whatever definition you put it to. When you feel fresh air across your throat before dying; you just got snuck up on, and your throat slashed. You could be Bruce; have an m-16 in your hand; or even able to breath fire. Your dead, son. Real life and the street are cruel; especially in feudal times. Don't compare

who cares about the ufc? they have no real skill, just size there.

[CanucKyokushin]

My favs are usually when kung-fuist tout their Sifu can beat that 3x Kickboxing champ.It's rare that they tout themselves.But they feel that their Sifu/God can.

[Mr. Jones]

I was arguing with some Ki blaster about the importance of physical fitness in MA.

[Virus]

"OMG! What kind of idiot made this video, trying to make a point. Ninjitsu is a art with no rules, and BJJ is a art with rouls. This is like making a yolley ball player plav vs a football player, with football rouls. this video is so idiotic, i wanna jump out the window.
Ppl are good in what they train at. If u train in BJJ rouls, ull get good in that type of fights."

[spirez]

Not exactly a quote, but oh....my....

http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...58660755243862

Just wait for the board breaking part!

However this is a quote from their website:

North Austin Tae Kwon Do employs a complete, integrated system that will teach you the techniques you need to defend yourself intelligently in threatening situations.

And yeah it's probably a repost but i have better things to do with my time than trawl through the 84956 'TKD sucks' threads

[markcos262]

"A Ninja wouldnt be in the cage goin toe to toe,A ninja would be the 1 that knifes you in the throat while your snoring from the big cage fight earlier in the night."

From fight science dim mak garbage.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4o6AimRi2A

[Epicurus]

"A Ninja wouldnt be in the cage goin toe to toe,A ninja would be the 1 that knifes you in the throat while your snoring from the big cage fight earlier in the night."

From fight science dim mak garbage.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4o6AimRi2A

but the serious voice! the CG models of human anatomy! the big words! polic shotgun! Surely we're all wasting our time with our "hooks" and "armbars" when we could be learning the hammerfist!

[Wounded Ronin]

"A Ninja wouldnt be in the cage goin toe to toe,A ninja would be the 1 that knifes you in the throat while your snoring from the big cage fight earlier in the night."

From fight science dim mak garbage.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4o6AimRi2A

That's hilarious. I wonder why so many "ninja" enthusiasts say stuff like that thinking that it makes them more cool? Don't they ever think that the same sentence would apply if we replaced "Ninja" with "crack addicted insane hobo"?

"A crack addicted insane hobo wouldnt be in the cage goin toe to toe,A crack addicted insane hobo would be the 1 that knifes you in the throat while your snoring from the big cage fight earlier in the night."

That's terrific sensei! Will you teach me the way of the crack addicted insane hobo?

[markcos262]

Bwahahahahaaaaa
yes I want to learn the ways of the crack addicted insane hobo.

[Virus]

"That is not a true kung fu expert. His moves are more similar to karate and he is clearly lacking experience. Kung fu masters dont move like that. A true kung fu master would kick any BJJ fighters ass in 20 seconds."

"sparring in ninjutsu? lol kinda hard when u get boshi in ur neck"

"From what I understand of Ninjutsu, and I'm still a relatively new student, I don't see how it can be put into a competition fight, I say one extremely prime example, assuming the fella in the grey shirt was the ninjutsu student, where my reflex would have been to jam a stiff thumb into the other guys neck and find a nice grip, problem being it would have turned from spar to attempted murder, hence ninjutsu not being a 'competition' sport"

"If the guy in the grey shirt is practicing ninjutsu, why the roundhouse kicks? We dont use them. When he's wrapped up on the ground where's the gouges to the eyes? Vital point attacks? Did the rules restrict them? If so - why have the fight, ninjutsu breaks those rules, thats the point. A disgrace to both arts and their respective founders."

"Anyways bruce was very good at groundfighting.
I read this from some guys memorys."

"Have a look at the lack of stances. The big guy waves his arm around while his back foot is off the ground. Ki cannot travel from your hara effectively when there is no stance, not even a straight back. Thats the first problem with this nonsense."

[CanucKyokushin]

"That was not _ing _un.That's what you get when you are taught this style in the west.If you go to china you will find the powerfull masters with the skillz.B'sides , _ing _un only for self-defense."

[Epicurus]

"I've been training in Wing CHun for a while now, and the more I learn the more I see that Bruce Lee WAS a great fighter, but was not a very good Wing Chun practitioner. But hey he could beat my ass if he were alive, so i stil respect him."

A great fighter but not good at wing chun, WHAT A COINCEDENCE!!!

From the comments on a dim mak expose: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/128019/killer_move/

"float with the air
let your soul be free

no mind

no force

no power

weak but strong"

yeah, whatever.

"Quantum physics has proven, in both theory and in experiment, that everything in the universe is connected. Also, the brain only processes on average 4 thousand bits of info at a time, yet it can process up to 400 billion bits. Chances are great that there is plenty we do not know about human capability. Do not be so quick to judge things because you cannot do it. This guy may indeed be fake, however that does not mean it cannot be done. 80 years of quantum science says it can be."

...This regarding the old man knocking the bricks over with CHI;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JYGqVA9xc4
...and also this little gem:

"blunt fisty u suc ,,this can be believeable nice video
amazing ok so magnets can break glass i dont think so
try it some time start small and u can move paper and plastic think that it moves but dont move it with the wind try it"

...yeah. I'll get right on that.

"it is always laughable when ordinary people start speculating about these devoted ancient skills... it has been lost in our written histories, but what will we do with the knowledge when there is scarcely the wisdom?"

...I'm not sure how best to describe the hatred this person inspires in me. Shouldn't they be out learning Dim Mak from the old guy who runs the noodle shop downtown?

[Sokaku]

huh...

I think you guys need to shut your mouths, this dude trained judo and karate for many years before starting to train wing tsun, which he has only trained for like 5-6 years. This is an asskicker, and what the fuck, let him fight a guy who has done boxing for 1 month? do you want that boxer to die?

[Phrost]

Don't just quote these... take actual screen caps of them (Print Screen, paste into MS Paint). We might even include your pics in an upcoming column.