Diary of a Teen Ninja: Compiled

[Eddie Hardon]

Very enjoyable. Excellent stuff. Thank you.

[Silvan]

Hm, wasn't there an entry after this? Something about him waking up on morphine? Or am I confused?

[the_broken_hand]

THAT WAS GOO READ CHEERS

St. Peter after he tried to argue his right to be in heaven
THAT MADE MY DAY

[whitetaoist]

A good read, especially since I always wanted to be a ninja:evil7: then I could write my own diaries...imagine that, no more sportfighting BS all the deadliness would be mine:evil7:
Until then I'm stuck with this weak sport stuff, bummer.

[Steve]

I see that Shinkengata is posting again, bump for the hope that he'll get noticed for his greatness (and that he'll start writing funny shit for us again).

[Shinkengata]

For the record, I'm glad everyone enjoyed this series. Like most of my (few) successful endeavors, this particular series materialized out of a whim, and went from there. There never was, nor ever will be any major planning of plot or story, only me sitting down to a computer and making shit up as I go along, keeping in mind all the rediculous Ninja shit I've come across in my 6 years of martial farts experience.


As a side note, I've been massively busy lately, with little access to an intarweb-capable computer. For those of you who have all but given up on the continuation of the DOTN, don't abandon hope yet. I'm working on getting my schedule under control, and then we'll check in on our favorite Neenjah.

[Mix6APlix]

Funniest thing I have read since the 20 facts about Chuck Norris. BTW, I have been an MMA fan since paying 7.99 for the original UFC. I am no noob.

[selfcritical]

Hrm...........maybe I could just do it somehow as blog postings on fictional myspace pages.

[Airman Kai]

was this done for any of the other diaries?

Easiest way would be just to post them as articles.

You're right, that WOULD be the easiest way, except for the fact that there's a limit on how long they can be, and this series FAR exceeds that limit.

[selfcritical]

was this done for any of the other diaries?

Easiest way would be just to post them as articles.

[Airman Kai]

i am a noob, and as a noob i will bump this.

That's not a bump, that's thread necromancy. There's a difference.

n00b.

[Nanaya]

i am a noob, and as a noob i will bump this.

[Steve]

Day 766

Dear Diary,


Jesus says i get one last diary entry, so im writing from heaven. You would never believe how totally fuc....freaking sw33t it is up here!!(sorry, the Big Guy hears everything.) Everybody gets to do what they enjoyed doing the most on earth, and i spend my days practicing katas and throwing shuriken with Jesus. Jesus is uber w1cked with Shuriken. The other day he goes "watch this" and nails Gabriel right in the ass from halfway across the galaxy.w00t!! Now i don't have to study the ninja methods of flying or astral projection cuz i get all those powers up here anyway. I've been trying to talk God into letting me keep my powers and going back to earth to pwn everybody as a supreme Ninja Grandmaster, but he's still thinking about it. Maybe he'll let me go down there and assassinate Bin Laden, or Fidel Castro or Michael Moore.

I was actually surprised i got into heaven, but Jesus said he felt sorry for me because i was so pathetic. I couldn't really say or think anything bad in response to that, or he would have shoved a lightning bolt katana up my ass. The concept of shoving something up someone's ass is somewhat metaphoric on earth, but in heaven it's pretty literal. Some lawyer got his briefcase shoved up his ass by St. Peter after he tried to argue his right to be in heaven. That was not pretty...the other angels are still trying to polish the blood and fecal stains out of the pearly gates. yeesh..

I've been watching my school from up here for awhile now. Di4bl0 got out of jail after a month for assisting and he took over as Grandmaster of the Danzig Ryu, and changed the name to Di4bl0 Ryu. What an arrogant bastard...i'd smite him with thunderbolts if i had the power. I wonder if my chi still works up here.....

I was hoping to meet Kurt Kobain up here, but he's in hell. I asked God why, and he said that hell was Kurt's punishment for copping out after making Jesus wait so long for another Nirvana album. Oh well..

Well...i guess this is it for my very last diary entry. I have kata training with God in half an hour, and i want to practice flying some more before i end up with another black eye. So long diary...you were my only friend.

Just remember....always....ALWAYS...no matter what happens, no matter how many people doubt you, no matter how many call you an emo fag, no matter how many Muay Thai guys give you crap, no matter how much coffee gets spilled on you, no matter how many of your girlfriends bone your instructor, no matter how many cops shoot you.....KEEP IT NINJA.

Love, Peace, and Nunchuck bearing grease.

[manitobamantis]

this is some seriously funny shit!

[Steve]

Maybe the occasional 'bump' for all the n00bs.