Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Some funny stories about No-Contact idiots.

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Some funny stories about No-Contact idiots.

    I'll get to the funny stories in a minute. First I'll give a little background about myself.

    I started doing TKD when I was ten. By the time I was 13 I had gotten to the rank of a red belt with two stripes on it. This was quite the high rank back then because my school made you wait 3 months per test. Then my instructor moved to a different town on me, my parents had money problems, and all sorts of stupid shit happened to keep me out of TKD for about six years. To sum it up my life went to hell.

    Then one day I was walking along and I remembered an old high school teacher of mine saying that he had a TKD class in town a long time ago. I checked to see if these classes were still being run. Indeed they were. I decided since I had forgotten all my forms I had better start over at WB level.

    Everything was all honkey dory for the first two months. Then I moved on up to the color belt class. Everything was still ok. They did two forms per belt level which I found a little time consuming. And they did these things called "one steps" which were several ways to counter a longwinded unrealistic punch from a front stance. I was ok with all this. My old school had only taught us the ITF forms so I was eager to learn the WTF forms. It kept me from getting too bored with forms that I already half knew. But then came the sparring....

    The sparring rules were as follows: No contact, no punches to the head, no kicks to the head. Now for someone that had done ITF sparring for about three years of his life this was heresy. The only thing that kept me from walking out the door was the fact that the next closest TKD place that didn't do no contact sparring was a good 45 min drive away.

    So anyway I kept going to class, and kept doing their watered down sparring. Agianst some people I could get away with sparring them full contact or at least light contact, with kicks to the head allowed. But other people were so ignorant of the true ways of TKD sparring that I couldn't help but snicker everytime they opened their mouthes to talk.

    I was sparring a "tournament champ" blue belt one day. She kept dropping her hands down way way low. So I kept roundkicking her in the head as a helpful reminder to keep her hands up. Her response: NO KICKS TO THE HEAD!! WE"RE DOING TOURNAMENT RULES HERE!! After class I promptly but nicely informed her of her ignorance. She then went into a fuss about how she outranked me. I continually reminded her that technically I outranked her, but it was to no avial.

    Another time I was sparring a kid about sixteen. I kept lightly punching him in the stomach and chest repeatedly. Even though it was pretty much the only legal striking area he still couldn't wrap his mind around what a block was. I slowed it up a bit in hopes that he might figure out how to block. Then he said: God Damn why are you so agressive? It's not like we're practicing to fight for real!! I kind of muttered under my breath, "that's the entire point of sparring". Apparently he heard it, and replyed,"No its' to have fun, and to help you win tournaments, not to practice hurting each other".

    Yet another time I was at a test. I was sparring a "temporary blackbelt" as part of my high green belt test. This guy kept opening up with a punch to the head so I blocked it and did a no contact front foot sidekick to his ribs. He no contact blocked it and countered with a spinning kick of some kind that I couldn't make out. Was it a sidekick or a hook kick? I don't know. So anyway we kept repeating ourselves a few times. Eventually he said "Why do you keep doing that kick when it doesn't hit me?" I cracked a grin and asked him if I could show him why. "Show me!" So the next time he opened up with his punch to the head I did my front foot sidekick and knocked him on his ass.

    I passed my test but was no longer allowed to go to their school. Eventually I found a 2nd Dan that taught in a gym not too far away, but he left after being hammered with students that came from these "no contact schools" and soccer moms worries that timmy might get hurt even though he's wearing full padding. (My old school kept giving a speech about full contact TKDers and made it sound like blood sport).

    So anyway that's my intro thread. I'm currently on haitus until I can find a car that doesn't guzzle ten thousand gallons of gas for the intended trip to "teh r34l school".

    #2
    If you want full contact, you probably shouldn't be at a TKD school. Any Muay Thai, kickboxing, or Kyokushin schools around your area?

    I did TKD for 8 years, reached 2nd degree black, quit & joined a Goju Ryu school where I got my ass whooped on a daily basis by green belts, but actually learned a bit about sparring.

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by Crazyman
      . . . He said: God Damn why are you so agressive? It's not like we're practicing to fight for real!! I kind of muttered under my breath, "that's the entire point of sparring". Apparently he heard it, and replyed,"No its' to have fun, and to help you win tournaments, not to practice hurting each other".
      The difference between you and those other kids is that you actually think you can fight.

      Comment


        #4
        Nope. I don't think I can fight. But I'd be a lot better off in a fight than these guys.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by rokutanda
          If you want full contact, you probably shouldn't be at a TKD school. Any Muay Thai, kickboxing, or Kyokushin schools around your area?

          I did TKD for 8 years, reached 2nd degree black, quit & joined a Goju Ryu school where I got my ass whooped on a daily basis by green belts, but actually learned a bit about sparring.
          There's a MMA school, and a boxing school. I plan on doing TKD and Boxing until I can get to a good level of athleticsm. Then I might ease myself into the MMA school.

          Also not all TKD schools do no-contact. Seems like there's more and more no contact schools these days though.

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by Crazyman
            The sparring rules were as follows: No contact, no punches to the head, no kicks to the head.

            I was sparring a "tournament champ" blue belt one day. She kept dropping her hands down way way low. So I kept roundkicking her in the head as a helpful reminder to keep her hands up. Her response: NO KICKS TO THE HEAD!! WE"RE DOING TOURNAMENT RULES HERE!! After class I promptly but nicely informed her of her ignorance. She then went into a fuss about how she outranked me. I continually reminded her that technically I outranked her, but it was to no avial.

            Another time I was sparring a kid about sixteen. I kept lightly punching him in the stomach and chest repeatedly. Even though it was pretty much the only legal striking area he still couldn't wrap his mind around what a block was. I slowed it up a bit in hopes that he might figure out how to block. Then he said: God Damn why are you so agressive? It's not like we're practicing to fight for real!! I kind of muttered under my breath, "that's the entire point of sparring". Apparently he heard it, and replyed,"No its' to have fun, and to help you win tournaments, not to practice hurting each other".

            Yet another time I was at a test. I was sparring a "temporary blackbelt" as part of my high green belt test. This guy kept opening up with a punch to the head so I blocked it and did a no contact front foot sidekick to his ribs. He no contact blocked it and countered with a spinning kick of some kind that I couldn't make out. Was it a sidekick or a hook kick? I don't know. So anyway we kept repeating ourselves a few times. Eventually he said "Why do you keep doing that kick when it doesn't hit me?" I cracked a grin and asked him if I could show him why. "Show me!" So the next time he opened up with his punch to the head I did my front foot sidekick and knocked him on his ass.

            I passed my test but was no longer allowed to go to their school..
            I can understand your frustation but, you were the asshole in this situation.

            Comment


              #7
              What do they teach at the MMA school?

              Comment


                #8
                No clue.

                Comment


                  #9
                  If I were you I'd go check out the MMA school, it might be a more productive use of your time than TKD and boxing.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by It is Fake??
                    I can understand your frustation but, you were the asshole in this situation.
                    Yeah I know, but I didn't care much at the time. I'm still not too ashamed of it, because they are trying to pass no contact sparring off as legit MA over there.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by It is Fake??
                      I can understand your frustation but, you were the asshole in this situation.
                      He was an asshole, and I salute him for it. He got expelled from his school for knocking a temporary black belt (jr black belt?) on his ass. That's priceless. If that happened at a testing at my school the temporary black belt is the one who would have been in trouble.
                      I must not fear.
                      Fear is the mind-killer.
                      Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
                      I will face my fear.
                      I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
                      And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
                      Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
                      Only I will remain.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by rokutanda
                        If I were you I'd go check out the MMA school, it might be a more productive use of your time than TKD and boxing.
                        I don't know what it is, but for some reason I still want a BB. Despite the low rep that these schools have given the rank in my area.

                        Yeah he was a slightly pudgy 17 year old "Temp BB". In other words in six months he was going to be promoted to 1st Dan.
                        Last edited by Crazyman; 6/23/2006 12:43pm, .

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by rokutanda
                          If I were you I'd go check out the MMA school, it might be a more productive use of your time than TKD and boxing.
                          Yes. When you're in boxing you'll want to try tkd kicks. This is not allowed. In tdk, you'll want to punch effectively. This is also not allowed.

                          I don't know what it is, but for some reason I still want a BB.
                          Get a BJJ BB then. At least that way you can charge $100/hr for privates.
                          You can't make people smarter. You can expose them to information, but your responsibility stops there.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            SHit crazyman you should go fight a grizzly bear!
                            You are not free whose liberty is won by the rigour of other, more righteous souls. Your are merely protected. Your freedom is parasitic, you suck the honourable man dry and offer nothing in return. You who have enjoyed freedom, who have done nothing to earn it

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Plus, you should learn some groundfighting at the MMA place. Better all-around training and you can school the TKD guys.

                              There'll be less "you can't do this, you can't do that" at MMA.

                              Comment

                              Collapse

                              Edit this module to specify a template to display.

                              Working...
                              X