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Selection pressure throughout history

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    #61
    My ex died. The world is a better place. Truly.

    I didn't dance. She was my son's mother. Nor did I shed a tear.

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      #62
      Originally posted by lant3rn View Post
      I can conceive of you being good friends with your ex.

      Did you not get a second date from the ones you had a connection with? Even if you ended up not having a romantic interest in each other.
      Yes in one case, no in the other one.

      The first date I went on post divorce, I talked about my ex way too much. My future friend informed me that this was a red flag and said good bye.

      2 days later she called and asked to talk to me as a friend because I was “easy to talk to”. That was 3 years ago. We still talk a few times a week.

      I did go on a second date with the other friend, during which we decided to be just friends.
      Shut the hell up and train.

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        #63
        I find some adults ‘leak’ a lot of inappropriate emotions so I ensure my behaviour, conduct, dress, signals are all above board. Maybe a harsh call, but I find those who can’t have platonic mixed gender friendships definitely have issues and I stay clear of them.

        Also having firm boundaries, a sense of humour and some compassion helps me deal with unwanted advances. I just don’t *see* people as gendered in the workplace, at training etc.

        I will admit that there are times my brain will do a quick unconscious assessment of someone but I override it. I’m not going to deny our instincts, but I’m self aware and also like my uncomplicated life.

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          #64
          I won't be in a car or room alone with a non-relative female if I can do anything to avoid it.

          I won't take a non-relative female to lunch alone, even for business, unless it can't be avoided.

          It would be moronic to do otherwise.

          I am very selective about grappling females, and avoid it more often than I do it.
          Last edited by Dr. Gonzo; 12/10/2019 9:38pm, .

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            #65
            Originally posted by Krampus View Post
            I won't be in a car or room alone with a non-relative female if I can do anything to avoid it.

            I won't take a non-relative female to lunch alone, even for business, unless it can't be avoided.

            It would be moronic to do otherwise.

            I am very selective about grappling females, and avoid it more often than I do it.
            Shut the hell up and train.

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              #66
              Unlike Mike Pence, I don't think a magic man is giving me instructions,

              and I am not building a massive closet, telling gay people to get back in it, and calling that conversion therapy.

              But as a married man, particularly, I find the Mike Pence rule you refer to be common sense and eminently wise.

              A lot of MeToo accusations were true, and long overdue.

              And, a lot of the MeToo accusations were false.

              Only a moron would risk false accusations by recklessly ignoring that rule.

              Especially given that in most cases the females who would want me to break that rule, whether platonically or otherwise, want something from me, whether a favor, or information, or whatever, and not the reverse.

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                #67
                For that matter, this is me, when people I don't know very well, including females, try to hug me:



                This happens quite a bit regarding the being a grappling instructor thing.

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                  #68
                  Originally posted by anthracite View Post
                  My ex died. The world is a better place. Truly.

                  I didn't dance. She was my son's mother. Nor did I shed a tear.

                  Your life has been eventful lately, Joe.

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                    #69

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                      #70

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                        #71

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                          #72
                          Originally posted by Lily View Post
                          I find some adults ‘leak’ a lot of inappropriate emotions so I ensure my behaviour, conduct, dress, signals are all above board. Maybe a harsh call, but I find those who can’t have platonic mixed gender friendships definitely have issues and I stay clear of them.

                          Also having firm boundaries, a sense of humour and some compassion helps me deal with unwanted advances. I just don’t *see* people as gendered in the workplace, at training etc.

                          I will admit that there are times my brain will do a quick unconscious assessment of someone but I override it. I’m not going to deny our instincts, but I’m self aware and also like my uncomplicated life.
                          Women are for fucking and having romantic relationships with. If we’re “just friends” it’s because I like her but she’s not pretty enough. It’s never the other way around for me because I don’t allow myself to be friend zoned, ever. No sex, and we’re done unless I don’t want to fuck her anyway.

                          One party always wants more in a male/female relationship. Anyone who allows their significant other to maintain friends of the opposite sex is a fucking idiot, because one of them is waiting for a window of opportunity to fuck..

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                            #73
                            Shut the hell up and train.

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                              #74

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                                #75
                                Originally posted by Devil View Post
                                It is never innocent between a man and a woman.

                                Look at all your conversations with this “friend” honestly. Can you legitimately say that you would be perfectly fine with a woman you were married to having those exact same conversations with another man?

                                I already know the answer. No, you can’t. So you can call it a friendship but it’s really something less innocent than that.
                                Actually, yes I can because there is nothing sexual in the relationships.

                                Are the relationships completely equitable? No, I provide support and advice, mostly concerning their relationships and careers.

                                There are 2 women I have completely equitable friendships with, my ex-wife and former bully jitschick.

                                The first girl that I mentioned, the one that friend zoned me, is gorgeous. She is also too immature for me to consider having a relationship with her.
                                Shut the hell up and train.

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