Originally posted by Devil
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Alright, I’m going to share some valuable relationship knowledge for you twats, and then I’ll come back and address some of your retarded, clueless commentary when I have time.
Most of you are going to turn your nose up at my advice, because what I’m suggesting is not going to be an element that is present in most of your relationships. But there is value in my words, whether you choose to listen or not. So, here it is, in a nutshell.....
SET THE STAGE TO HAVE NO EXPECTATION OF PRIVACY BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER!
Everybody loves to blather on about trust and respecting each other’s privacy and all that garbage. Privacy is not something you should aspire to in a committed relationship. It is something you should seek to eliminate.
If your wife wants privacy, she can close the bathroom door when she takes a shit. But there should be zero privacy when it comes to whereabouts, and especially there should be no expectation of privacy with respect to online activities and use of technology. None.
Their cell phone is where shit is going to start most of the time. If you and your chick don’t know each other’s pass codes and have the okay to use each other’s electronic devices whenever you please, then you’re fucking up.
Think about it this way.....before the widespread use of cell phones, if your girlfriend came over to your house and needed to use your home phone, would you tell her to fuck off? No, you’d let her use the goddamn phone. If you had a desktop computer and she needed to use it, would you tell her to fuck off? No, you’d let her use it. But all of a sudden, those same technologies can fit in your pocket and now we act like it’s supposed to be this big, private thing. Fuck that. Not in a committed relationship. There should be no secrets and neither of you should have a fucking thing to hide.
Do you have a pass code on your microwave? Does she have to enter a six digit code before she can flush your toilet? Fuck no, because there’s nothing to hide there. Literally, the only reason to lock your phone away from your partner is that you have something to hide. It is cancer to a relationship.
I know what you’re thinking.....”But, but.....what about TRUST????!!!” Nope....try again. I’ll give another analogy. I used to fly single engine airplanes as a hobby. I trusted the airworthiness of the airplane I was in. I believed the engine was going to perform perfectly every single time. I trusted it. In fact, I trusted it with my life, or I wouldn’t have been in the plane in the first place. But does that mean I didn’t look at the oil pressure gauge repeatedly during each flight? Hell no. Because that would make me an idiot. Trust, but verify. That is the correct way. There is nothing noble about blind trust. It doesn’t make you a better person. It doesn’t give you the moral high ground. It only makes you a pilot who doesn’t look at the oil pressure gauge.
If someone is a casual fling, I have no expectations in this regard and I give nothing in return. But if I’m in a committed relationship, we’re going to have openness, and I will not ask anything from a woman that I won’t give in return. My girlfriend and I know each other’s pass codes to our devices, we permanently share our locations on our phones, etc. There is no expectation of privacy, and that’s how it should be.
Now, does that mean you’re never going to get cheated on? No, not necessarily. If someone wants to cheat, they can be sneaky and find a way. But that doesn’t mean you should make it easy for each other. You should put barriers up to prevent it. You should make it difficult.
Here’s the thing, a lot of the cheating that happens could be avoided if your partner just knew you were paying attention or knew that there was risk of getting caught.
A lot of cheating doesn’t happen with one Big Bang. It’s a slow burn. It starts with someone liking their Facebook posts regularly. Then there’s a seemingly innocent instant message. Then there’s light conversation and a building of friendship. Then they begin confiding in each other regarding personal matters. Before long, they’re fucking and it “just happened.”
A lot of that shit could be eliminated at the very first or second step of the process if there was some visibility into your partner’s activities. Maybe with some openness, your partner receives that first instant message, realizes that it is a potential problem causer in your relationship, mentions it to you right away, blocks the person and it’s never an issue beyond that.
Don’t make it easy for your partner to ease into a familiar relationship with another person as they rationalize it as being innocent along the way. Establish boundaries. Establish rules. Have expectations for proper behavior. Talk about them. Agree on it. Then enforce those boundaries with an iron fist.
Ignore my advice at your own peril. Trust, but verify.
Most of you are going to turn your nose up at my advice, because what I’m suggesting is not going to be an element that is present in most of your relationships. But there is value in my words, whether you choose to listen or not. So, here it is, in a nutshell.....
SET THE STAGE TO HAVE NO EXPECTATION OF PRIVACY BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER!
Everybody loves to blather on about trust and respecting each other’s privacy and all that garbage. Privacy is not something you should aspire to in a committed relationship. It is something you should seek to eliminate.
If your wife wants privacy, she can close the bathroom door when she takes a shit. But there should be zero privacy when it comes to whereabouts, and especially there should be no expectation of privacy with respect to online activities and use of technology. None.
Their cell phone is where shit is going to start most of the time. If you and your chick don’t know each other’s pass codes and have the okay to use each other’s electronic devices whenever you please, then you’re fucking up.
Think about it this way.....before the widespread use of cell phones, if your girlfriend came over to your house and needed to use your home phone, would you tell her to fuck off? No, you’d let her use the goddamn phone. If you had a desktop computer and she needed to use it, would you tell her to fuck off? No, you’d let her use it. But all of a sudden, those same technologies can fit in your pocket and now we act like it’s supposed to be this big, private thing. Fuck that. Not in a committed relationship. There should be no secrets and neither of you should have a fucking thing to hide.
Do you have a pass code on your microwave? Does she have to enter a six digit code before she can flush your toilet? Fuck no, because there’s nothing to hide there. Literally, the only reason to lock your phone away from your partner is that you have something to hide. It is cancer to a relationship.
I know what you’re thinking.....”But, but.....what about TRUST????!!!” Nope....try again. I’ll give another analogy. I used to fly single engine airplanes as a hobby. I trusted the airworthiness of the airplane I was in. I believed the engine was going to perform perfectly every single time. I trusted it. In fact, I trusted it with my life, or I wouldn’t have been in the plane in the first place. But does that mean I didn’t look at the oil pressure gauge repeatedly during each flight? Hell no. Because that would make me an idiot. Trust, but verify. That is the correct way. There is nothing noble about blind trust. It doesn’t make you a better person. It doesn’t give you the moral high ground. It only makes you a pilot who doesn’t look at the oil pressure gauge.
If someone is a casual fling, I have no expectations in this regard and I give nothing in return. But if I’m in a committed relationship, we’re going to have openness, and I will not ask anything from a woman that I won’t give in return. My girlfriend and I know each other’s pass codes to our devices, we permanently share our locations on our phones, etc. There is no expectation of privacy, and that’s how it should be.
Now, does that mean you’re never going to get cheated on? No, not necessarily. If someone wants to cheat, they can be sneaky and find a way. But that doesn’t mean you should make it easy for each other. You should put barriers up to prevent it. You should make it difficult.
Here’s the thing, a lot of the cheating that happens could be avoided if your partner just knew you were paying attention or knew that there was risk of getting caught.
A lot of cheating doesn’t happen with one Big Bang. It’s a slow burn. It starts with someone liking their Facebook posts regularly. Then there’s a seemingly innocent instant message. Then there’s light conversation and a building of friendship. Then they begin confiding in each other regarding personal matters. Before long, they’re fucking and it “just happened.”
A lot of that shit could be eliminated at the very first or second step of the process if there was some visibility into your partner’s activities. Maybe with some openness, your partner receives that first instant message, realizes that it is a potential problem causer in your relationship, mentions it to you right away, blocks the person and it’s never an issue beyond that.
Don’t make it easy for your partner to ease into a familiar relationship with another person as they rationalize it as being innocent along the way. Establish boundaries. Establish rules. Have expectations for proper behavior. Talk about them. Agree on it. Then enforce those boundaries with an iron fist.
Ignore my advice at your own peril. Trust, but verify.
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