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The Predator - Short Movie Review

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    The Predator - Short Movie Review

    Has anyone seen The Predator in the movies?

    Holy shit, this was one of the fucking funniest movies I've seen since Thor, but I don't think it was intentional, or if the things that were intentional were the things I was laughing at, or if it was the unintentional things.

    What I mean by I can't tell intentional or not is lines like, "attach the translator and download everything", an Autistic child just figuring out an alien language and technological operating system easily and simply, and the schlock/gore violence which resulted in a scene where two dudes shoot each other in which I almost felt my heart stop because I was laughing that hard.

    The intentional one liners probably primed me a bit, possibly the edibles I took an hour beforehand too, but legit, it was a crack up.

    From the "rag tag" bunch of guys just straight up committing treason over and over again, with stupid scenes of terrible shooting tactics that even I as a layperson that has never shot a gun outside of hunting for roos can see blatantly (like running in front of a line of people firing to fire with them? WTF??)

    "Your speech didn't inspire me at all, but he called me a pussy and nobody calls me a pussy."
    GET A RED BELT OR DIE TRYIN'.
    Originally posted by Devil
    I think Battlefields and I had a spirited discussion once about who was the biggest narcissist. We both wanted the title but at the end of the day I had to concede defeat. Can't win 'em all.
    Originally posted by BackFistMonkey
    I <3 Battlefields...

    #2
    I have to agree. The movie was a mess. Even the fact that there where extensive reshoots doesn't justify how odd some of those decisions are.

    Did you can realise that the main human antagonist shoots himself in the head with the shoulder cannon? I didn't but apparently it happens but only a split second of it was left in the movie.

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by MJCromwell View Post
      I have to agree. The movie was a mess. Even the fact that there where extensive reshoots doesn't justify how odd some of those decisions are.

      Did you can realise that the main human antagonist shoots himself in the head with the shoulder cannon? I didn't but apparently it happens but only a split second of it was left in the movie.
      I think at that stage I was legitimately in stitches and was seeing stars from laughing so hard. Honestly, at one stage I had to check my heart because I had put so much pressure on it from the blood squeeze that came from the wheeze laughter, literally had one of the edible moments where I thought my heart had stopped and I might need medical attention. It passed, but fucking hell it was funny.
      GET A RED BELT OR DIE TRYIN'.
      Originally posted by Devil
      I think Battlefields and I had a spirited discussion once about who was the biggest narcissist. We both wanted the title but at the end of the day I had to concede defeat. Can't win 'em all.
      Originally posted by BackFistMonkey
      I <3 Battlefields...

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by battlefields View Post
        I think at that stage I was legitimately in stitches and was seeing stars from laughing so hard. Honestly, at one stage I had to check my heart because I had put so much pressure on it from the blood squeeze that came from the wheeze laughter, literally had one of the edible moments where I thought my heart had stopped and I might need medical attention. It passed, but fucking hell it was funny.
        It's like they got to the end of the film and remembered it was a predator movie and said okay let's put them in the woods and have most of them die in the space of five minutes, that'll do.

        Comment


          #5
          I heard the idea was good but halfway through it became simply “why the fuck did you do this?”. Honestly the first one was the best, not only because of the cast/characters but the settings was brilliant. They were in a foreign dangerous environment being hunted by something even more foreign and dangerous.

          They seriously could have redone the concept of the first film and instead of the jungles of guatamala maybe put it in afghanistan or something (like a SF team behind enemy lines). Something familiar but also different. Also have the rock (or somone equally jacked) play the role of the hero.

          Id have my reservations on how well it would do though. The missing ingredient would be memorable dialogue. Like when jesse ventura offers the others chewing tobbacco and everyone declines promting his best line to date “bunch of slackjawed faggots in here, this stuff will turn ya into a goddamned sexual tyranasaurus. Just like me”.
          Last edited by Kravbizarre; 10/02/2018 6:24pm, .

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by MJCromwell View Post
            It's like they got to the end of the film and remembered it was a predator movie and said okay let's put them in the woods and have most of them die in the space of five minutes, that'll do.
            That's what I meant about the treason, the dudes were just straight up capping government forces for a good portion of the movie, it was like, uh, guys, when this is done, you're fucked.

            And the kid in the mask with the dude on the balcony. Like, yeah, okay, 7 year old autistic kid is going to be fine after that kind of ridiculous experience.
            GET A RED BELT OR DIE TRYIN'.
            Originally posted by Devil
            I think Battlefields and I had a spirited discussion once about who was the biggest narcissist. We both wanted the title but at the end of the day I had to concede defeat. Can't win 'em all.
            Originally posted by BackFistMonkey
            I <3 Battlefields...

            Comment


              #7
              I know and it's weird because allot of people attribute the funny dialogue to Shane Black in the first place, as apparently he was brought into predator to punch up the script. Plus the guy wrote lethal weapon for god's sake. I just don't get it.

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by battlefields View Post
                That's what I meant about the treason, the dudes were just straight up capping government forces for a good portion of the movie, it was like, uh, guys, when this is done, you're fucked.

                And the kid in the mask with the dude on the balcony. Like, yeah, okay, 7 year old autistic kid is going to be fine after that kind of ridiculous experience.
                Or when the teacher just fucks off after hearing the fire alarm without checking the room and leaves a child just sitting on the floor. Why? Cos Movie need a bully scene.

                That may just bother me because I work in a school.

                Comment


                  #9
                  I liked it.
                  "BJJ!!! Guard can't protect you from collapsing gym roof, tough guy!" - W. Rabbit

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by Sovvolf View Post
                    I liked it.
                    On a scale from Chael Sonnen to Tommy Chong, how high were you?
                    "Systema, which means, 'the system'..."

                    Originally posted by strikistanian
                    DROP SEIONAGI MOTHERFUCKER! Except I don't know Judo, so it doesn't work, and he takes my back.
                    Originally posted by Devil
                    Why is it so goddamn hard to find a video of it? I've seen videos I'm pretty sure are alien spacecraft. But still no good Krav.
                    Originally posted by Plasma
                    At the point, I must act! You see my rashguard saids "Jiu Jitsu vs The World" and "The World" was standing in front me teaching Anti-Grappling in a school I help run.
                    Originally posted by SoulMechanic
                    Thank you, not dying really rewarding in more ways than I can express.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by ermghoti View Post
                      On a scale from Chael Sonnen to Tommy Chong, how high were you?
                      Melted prixstix.
                      "BJJ!!! Guard can't protect you from collapsing gym roof, tough guy!" - W. Rabbit

                      Comment


                        #12
                        2nd best line. The best was "I ain't got time to bleed."

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by NeilG View Post
                          2nd best line. The best was "I ain't got time to bleed."
                          He stole that idea from Battlefields, the Original T-Rex of Sex.

                          According to him, that is.
                          Falling for Judo since 1980

                          "You are wrong. Why? Because you move like a pregnant yak and talk like a spazzing 'I train UFC' noob." -DCS

                          "The best part of getting you worked up is your backpack full of irony and lies." -It Is Fake

                          "Banning BKR is like kicking a Quokka. It's foolishness of the first order." - Raycetpfl

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by NeilG View Post
                            2nd best line. The best was "I ain't got time to bleed."
                            But the question is “do you got time to duck?”

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