Cardio beats a RNC

[BKR]

Well I wish I could tell you that I had lots of hilarity to share, but in that respect today was a major let down. The entire Aikido contingent dropped out in protest over the crticisms from last time. I guess they are going to get certified somewhere else.

Three of the five ninjas didn't show. The Wing Chun guy didn't show either. The only other Kung Fu guy was a Shaolin/Sanda guy. So nothing funny there either.

JKN got himself a Gracie Academy subscription and taught a standing headlock defense. He did really well to be honest. I'm proud of him for his conversion.

For much of the morning I was stuck working with GN. Turns out he hasn't learned how to bathe or use deodarant. I mean made my eyes water bad. Put me Kese Gatame and I wanted to tap to the smell bad. Bear in mind I was a wrestler and dealt with guys who would layer sweat suits and not wash them for weeks, and this was worse. Exacerbated by the fact it was over 100degrees F, with 80% humidity and the dojo doesn't have AC.
GN taught some odd booj kata, talking about how you can break a guy's neck with a chop, and shove the nose into the brain (this despite having taken anatomy class). He didn't pass the practical. He'll apparently get another chance next week. Volunteers are being sought to help those that failed.

The JJJ guy who insists that JJJ is over 2000 years old tried to teach an escape from Kese Gatame. Sadly he literally got all of the mechanics wrong. He wanted us to get to a 90deg angle to the Uke and then sit up. Supposedly that was supposed to give us leverage to do it without the use of any strength. It worked for the people who were overly compliant, for anyone not, it failed. When he saw the class was struggling he decided to demo it again, this time using me.
So he sat there and struggled to sit up for a while(yeah that wasn't going to happen). He then shouted at me(literally shouted) to stop resisting. I pointed out that I wasn't, in fact I pointed out that I wasn't even doing Kese Gatame correctly as I was sitting on the floor and not putting weight or pressure on him. At that GBA's eyebrows went up.
JJJ Guy then actually asked me what he was doing wrong, and I explained how the sweep was supposed to go down. He then shouted at me(closer to screeching at me) for not correcting him sooner. GBA put an end to it there. He also didn't pass.

One of the KM guys taught low kicks even after GBA specifically instructed the class not to do kicks that would endanger the knees and that doing so would immediately result in failure. So he failed.

I thought elbow escape from mount. Got dinged because I didn't announce my name and style before I started teaching. Fixed it before I got too far in, so it only cost me 2 pts. Explained how mount was dangerous. Got the guy with the longest reach there, showed how I could pound him in the face, but he couldn't touch me. Then explained how we were going to learn how to escape from said position and then time permitting achieve said position ourselves. I then explained how we had to learn two basic movements first, a basic back bridge and hip shrimp. Taught the back bridge taking special care to make sure everyone knew how to do it without putting pressure on the neck or head. GBA really liked that. Had the class practice that 10 times together. Then taught how to shrimp hips. Had the class line up in three lines to practice hip shrimps. Got about a third of the way through the class before GBA called a halt. Got dinged another 2pts for telling a guy something was "wrong" instead of using positive language. Got a 96 overall, only needed a 70. So I'm golden.

The BJJ greenbelt was called on next. Apparently I had taught what she wanted to. She was offered to either continue where I left off or teach some other position and how to escape it. She got hit with a serious case of nerves and stage fright and wound up not teaching anything. Felt bad for her. GBA let me talk to her privately and try to get her head in the game and even give her some ideas. We went out into the hallway. She broke down crying, now she had a case of embarrassment and teenage angst as well, and there was no way she was going back in there to teach. If she didn't teach she was going to g to get a failure and have to arrange a make up test.

Fortunately her club is only a couple blocks from GBA's dojo. So I managed to negotiate that GBA would go to her club and observe her teaching a class there as her practical. When I came back to her with that news she hit me with a hug that nearly choked me out and I had to peel her off me. Feels good to be someone's hero.

After that a lot more Karate. Totally reliving my TKD youth. Then it was over, way early and I am on my way home.

Congrats on passing, and providing us and (some) of the rest of the class with entertainment.

I wish I could say that any of my judo coach/teacher certifications were so amusing, but they were not.

I guess we just needed more aikido and ninjutsu...

[Michael Tzadok]

Hmm, alright. I thought they'd shot themselves in the foot and were going to do something desperate like declare the sports ministry unfit to judge them. They better not reflect badly on GBA.

Nah, they won't reflect badly on GBA. They just did the stupid. He criticizes us all. Some people just got too much ego to listen and learn something. I may not agree with everything GBA says, or I may not be able to implement everything he says in a BJJ club, however, I got enough respect from just seeing him and listening to him for a few weeks, to know that I should listen, pay attention, and at least consider what he says.

Everyone who is currently giving the course originally came up under GBA, as he was the one the Ministry of Sport and Culture originally turned to to formulate the program, and he ran it for over two decades before anyone else ever thought of trying to do it outside of Wingate.
If these folks are smart, where ever they go next, they will keep their issues with GBA to themselves. He is pretty universally considered a great teacher. Even folks in BJJ and such who don't do things his way, say he is a great teacher and has great methods, just not everything transfers to BJJ's unique culture.

[The Cap]

What that they quit in protest of being criticized on their teaching technique? Nope that is for real. There are other places where one can do the course. I don't think the hours will necessarily transfer though, and as most of those who do it, now do it primarily for financial reason, they will probably have to pay full price again.

Hmm, alright. I thought they'd shot themselves in the foot and were going to do something desperate like declare the sports ministry unfit to judge them. They better not reflect badly on GBA.

[Michael Tzadok]

So why is a teenager trying to get a teaching certificate?

You mean a 16yr old who is either going to be sand bagging as a blue belt or probably jumped to purple belt(she already competes against and beats adult purple belts) shouldn't be teaching? Personally, I'll leave that decision down to the Renzo Gracie black belt that signed off on her taking the course in the first place.

Though a couple of reasons off the top of my head:
Kid's classes. A 16yr old purple belt is totally adequate to teach kids classes and probably has the time to do so.
Open mat- Doesn't have to teach anything, but need someone with a certificate to be on the mat for insurance reasons.
Hosting Semminars- If Renzo Gracie himself(or world famous black belt of your choice) comes to teach at her club, he can't step on the mat and teach without someone with a teaching certificate from the government there on the mat to oversee him. I went to a Royce Gracie semminar here(Royce is repped by a blue belt in this country, at least in Jerusalem), Royce legally couldn't so much as step on the mat to warm up until said blue belt with the teaching cert was there. Thems is the rules.
Free time- It takes a lot of time to get this done, and when better than in the teen years when you have free time without the responsibilities of adulthood?

There are some other reasons, but I think those there are sufficient for the now.

This is humour, yes? There is no where else in the country to get certified?

What that they quit in protest of being criticized on their teaching technique? Nope that is for real. There are other places where one can do the course. I don't think the hours will necessarily transfer though, and as most of those who do it, now do it primarily for financial reason, they will probably have to pay full price again.

[The Cap]

The entire Aikido contingent dropped out in protest over the crticisms from last time. I guess they are going to get certified somewhere else.

This is humour, yes? There is no where else in the country to get certified?

[Kravbizarre]

So why is a teenager trying to get a teaching certificate?

[scipio]

Nice update- shame it looks like the thread is coming to an end. Really enjoyed it

[Michael Tzadok]

Well I wish I could tell you that I had lots of hilarity to share, but in that respect today was a major let down. The entire Aikido contingent dropped out in protest over the crticisms from last time. I guess they are going to get certified somewhere else.

Three of the five ninjas didn't show. The Wing Chun guy didn't show either. The only other Kung Fu guy was a Shaolin/Sanda guy. So nothing funny there either.

JKN got himself a Gracie Academy subscription and taught a standing headlock defense. He did really well to be honest. I'm proud of him for his conversion.

For much of the morning I was stuck working with GN. Turns out he hasn't learned how to bathe or use deodarant. I mean made my eyes water bad. Put me Kese Gatame and I wanted to tap to the smell bad. Bear in mind I was a wrestler and dealt with guys who would layer sweat suits and not wash them for weeks, and this was worse. Exacerbated by the fact it was over 100degrees F, with 80% humidity and the dojo doesn't have AC.
GN taught some odd booj kata, talking about how you can break a guy's neck with a chop, and shove the nose into the brain (this despite having taken anatomy class). He didn't pass the practical. He'll apparently get another chance next week. Volunteers are being sought to help those that failed.

The JJJ guy who insists that JJJ is over 2000 years old tried to teach an escape from Kese Gatame. Sadly he literally got all of the mechanics wrong. He wanted us to get to a 90deg angle to the Uke and then sit up. Supposedly that was supposed to give us leverage to do it without the use of any strength. It worked for the people who were overly compliant, for anyone not, it failed. When he saw the class was struggling he decided to demo it again, this time using me.
So he sat there and struggled to sit up for a while(yeah that wasn't going to happen). He then shouted at me(literally shouted) to stop resisting. I pointed out that I wasn't, in fact I pointed out that I wasn't even doing Kese Gatame correctly as I was sitting on the floor and not putting weight or pressure on him. At that GBA's eyebrows went up.
JJJ Guy then actually asked me what he was doing wrong, and I explained how the sweep was supposed to go down. He then shouted at me(closer to screeching at me) for not correcting him sooner. GBA put an end to it there. He also didn't pass.

One of the KM guys taught low kicks even after GBA specifically instructed the class not to do kicks that would endanger the knees and that doing so would immediately result in failure. So he failed.

I thought elbow escape from mount. Got dinged because I didn't announce my name and style before I started teaching. Fixed it before I got too far in, so it only cost me 2 pts. Explained how mount was dangerous. Got the guy with the longest reach there, showed how I could pound him in the face, but he couldn't touch me. Then explained how we were going to learn how to escape from said position and then time permitting achieve said position ourselves. I then explained how we had to learn two basic movements first, a basic back bridge and hip shrimp. Taught the back bridge taking special care to make sure everyone knew how to do it without putting pressure on the neck or head. GBA really liked that. Had the class practice that 10 times together. Then taught how to shrimp hips. Had the class line up in three lines to practice hip shrimps. Got about a third of the way through the class before GBA called a halt. Got dinged another 2pts for telling a guy something was "wrong" instead of using positive language. Got a 96 overall, only needed a 70. So I'm golden.

The BJJ greenbelt was called on next. Apparently I had taught what she wanted to. She was offered to either continue where I left off or teach some other position and how to escape it. She got hit with a serious case of nerves and stage fright and wound up not teaching anything. Felt bad for her. GBA let me talk to her privately and try to get her head in the game and even give her some ideas. We went out into the hallway. She broke down crying, now she had a case of embarrassment and teenage angst as well, and there was no way she was going back in there to teach. If she didn't teach she was going to g to get a failure and have to arrange a make up test.

Fortunately her club is only a couple blocks from GBA's dojo. So I managed to negotiate that GBA would go to her club and observe her teaching a class there as her practical. When I came back to her with that news she hit me with a hug that nearly choked me out and I had to peel her off me. Feels good to be someone's hero.

After that a lot more Karate. Totally reliving my TKD youth. Then it was over, way early and I am on my way home.

[Falenay]

Well all good things must come to an end, and sadly this thread is winding down. Today is the practical exam, next week is the academic exams. There will definitely be updates today on all the hilarity that will be.

Not gonna lie, I'm a little nervous. Having to give a structured lesson in my second language a mere 30seconds after being told the subject has me a little worried. I also find it more than a bit ironic that with all the stress on planning that we aren't given a chance to plan our test lesson.

Sounds a bit weird indeed. In Judo instructor's licensing here, the theoretical part is working out a session fitting for the parameters given (age, level, kind of course (popular or competitive), technique, length of course) on several pages, the practical part is parted into a technical test of your ability to demonstrate techniques in general in all kinds of training forms and a coaching test where you have to effectuate the exact plan you worked out on the exact group described in practice.

Guess there are better ways to handle that, even if it is not about a specific art.

Anyways, best of luck. I can feel with you since I had to give lessons in English spontaneously because the head coach was ill, but at least the content was mine to choose then.

[Michael Tzadok]

Well all good things must come to an end, and sadly this thread is winding down. Today is the practical exam, next week is the academic exams. There will definitely be updates today on all the hilarity that will be.

Not gonna lie, I'm a little nervous. Having to give a structured lesson in my second language a mere 30seconds after being told the subject has me a little worried. I also find it more than a bit ironic that with all the stress on planning that we aren't given a chance to plan our test lesson.

[BKR]

LOL. I'm a black belt in this exact Aikido lineage. What is being performed in that clip are not techniques but exercises. Choking that guy was the right thing to do.

That makes sense, both the exercise and the choking part.

I mean, little kids don't generally do adult-style Judo, so go figure...

[Dr. Gonzo]

That would dissuade me from my cyanide tooth plan. Would actually make the Aikido part enjoyable. I would in fact love that. However, thus is probably not to be the case.



Here is what they were doing(not the actual Aikidokas from the class but the same BS):

I really for the life of me can't understand how this is supposed to work in any possible way. I guess we all get to have our own little delusions. It certainly isn't going to immobilize anyone intent on getting up.

These exercises can teach the same things we teach in other ways.
Entering, jamming, etc.
It's a slower way to train.
And, when done fast, these techniques can break a joint or break someone down, if they are done correctly.
But...if all one trains is the slow, compliant style, one might be in for a nasty surprise when one encounters someone athletic, violent, and/or that has trained in non-compliant styles.
I am not Aikidoka.
But, I have seen a lot of things happen and get applied in rolling, and it is always the model you ignore that can end up surprising you if someone well trained in your model takes you down a rabbit hole you did not see coming.

[swashbuckler]

This whole thread is hilarious and totally makes me want to take up bjj. I can totally picture the ninjas from the BBD club I went to years ago when you describe GN and JKN. To be honest before I visited this site I didn’t know aikido was so, well, crap, but you’ve given a very clear picture of why it should be avoided.

[ermghoti]

Depends on what he does at the exam. These practice sessions are so that you can get feed back. How you take that on board will determine how you do on the exam.

Thanks for reminding me that I'm going to have to go through several more hours of Aikido. I'm going to go get fitted for a cyanide tooth now.

Cyanide Tooth is my next band name.

[scipio]

I think what happens is that they train the lock in isolation (aikidoka), in set-piece scenarios, in order to get good at the lock itself. And never really advance beyond that.

Blending isolation training with whole-sequence training is part of the art/science of coaching/teaching. Deal with it in Judo class all the time.

That is pretty much it, you essentially train to put the lock on (or an approximation of it). When coupled with completely compliant partners - this is what happens. The guy was surprised as the people he trains he tap even if the technique is effective or not.