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Gather around Bullies and allow me to tell you the tale of the Anti-Grappler

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    Gather around Bullies and allow me to tell you the tale of the Anti-Grappler

    Gather around Bullies and allow me to tell you a tale, for what I am about to tell you still happens in the world of Martial Arts today. No, don't check your calendars, it is 2016, and not 1992. You are reading this on your Smartphone and not your dial up connection from AOL.

    You see bullies, nowadays in concert with the local U.S. Marine Unit we run a MMA club 2 days a week. Tuesday and Friday. I instruct on Friday without incident for many a month now and the Unit Commander teaches on Tuesdays. However, on this fateful Tuesday, the Unit Commander was not present for he was away. In his stead a young Stgt took over the club and taught the crew. While I am normally not present on a Tuesday, this week I made an effort to join the Tuesday crew and this is where the fun begins.

    The evening started as expected, the young Stgt attempted to teach a basic takedown and I assisted him with the details as it was not my intention to teach the class but to simply visit so I can duck out early and proceed to my own training. However, after the takedown, a man appears among the students, 5'9", 180lbs of soft gooey man flesh. You see this man is the local Tae Kwon Do instructor, who also offers free Escrima Lessons to the Marine Unit. He takes command of the class, for which I find amusing, as he doesn't know I am the other instructor for this club, and the Unit Commander is missing. He said he will now teach a technique, knowing his background, I assume will be some sort of striking combo, so I allow it to proceed. Oh what a mistake I made!

    For this man, seeing the MMA club grappling he must instruct us the mysterious way of the Anti-Grappling! He asked the young Stgt take hold his leg as one was going to perform a Single Leg Takedown. Our TKD instructor, then goes into a mix between a lunge and a squat, could this be the legendary TKD front stance? Then, which great power and no contact he strikes the back of the neck or at least pretends to with a thundering KIAI! I quickly check my phone to ensure I have not time traveled back into the 90s, as I was concerned. Why in the era of MMA would anyone think this would work?

    At the point, I must act! You see my rashguard saids "Jiu Jitsu vs The World" and "The World" was standing in front me teaching Anti-Grappling in a school I help run. So I replace the Stgt in the Single Leg position and say, "Please, try this again." For what happens next, I assume you all know, and our fearless TKD warrior ends up on his butt as his vicious neck strike could not stand "the running of the pipe." Surprised, he asked to try again, but alas the same result befell him. Frustrated with with his ego bruised, he stands again and informs me "but I got you!" To which I respond, "This isn't pretend, if you want to hit me, fucking hit me, stop me from taking you down." On this third attempt, the result was the same, but this time, he adds a reverse punch from his back! At this point, I inform him, I can fake punch you and he needs to stop because from my top position "I can fucking murder you." But the ego is fragile and with all his experience, he has probably never been reality checked so hard before, you see in his world Martial Artists respect each other and don't challenge each other's techniques and fighting is theory. We go for a fourth time, and yet again he is on his back, for this pipe running is just too much for his technique and he has no balance. But his time, after going to the ground, he has a secret weapon, the lustrous Axe Kick, from his back. The evasion was quick as I was still on my feet, and the guard pass quicker. Now with my Knee on his Belly, our Anti-Grappler was defeated and I resolve to instructing the rest of the class.

    But you see the story is not over, at the end of class, we are doing rounds, winner stays in and my next opponent in our TKD instructor. I end this quickly, throwing him into a basic submission in the first 5 seconds forcing him to raise his hand and tap on my leg several times to admit defeat. But you see, this was again too much for our TKD instructor to be defeated so quickly. As I start to disengage to find the next partner, the TKD instructor jumps on my foot, you see he saw an opening! And puts me in a straight ankle lock, I look at him puzzled as I thought the round was over, but I see his face, teeth gritted, muscle flexed with exertion, for he is trying to break my ankle. The technique though, was flawed as there was no pain in the joint and his feet were exposed for a counter. I wrap up a quick toe hold forcing him to raise his hand and tap on my leg several times to admit defeat again. When I let go I look at him and he walks away.

    So Bullies, I hope you enjoyed this tale of Bullshido and know when you hear the wind howl, someone might be out there Anti-Grappling.

    #2
    A lot of those people still exist unfortunately. They just post on MAP.

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by Pre-Contact Sport Me
      That was just gym play though. If it was for realz he would have picked you up and flung you to another state because TKD guy is a human tornado.
      additional text cuz 5 characters or die

      Comment


        #4
        I laughed, I cried, I pooped my pants.

        Comment


          #5
          I miss story time.

          Plasma,

          I hope you invited the nice fellow back for Friday's class. I also hope you exchanged info so you can show up to his TKD school and teach his kids and youth to How Do Single Leg come Monday.

          It is the only polite thing to do.

          Comment


            #6
            I am glad not a single one of of that type has ever showed up at any of my judo classes. Ever, in 34 years...that I can remember at least.

            Comment


              #7
              You will have to let us know if he comes back.

              Comment


                #8
                I am surprised he did not explain how he could rip your ear off from the clinch.
                That is one of the usual silly objections I get from the ninja crowd when I teach bjj seminars to non-grappling gyms.
                It's almost not worth the time to present the flaws
                in that thinking when that objection is raised.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Since I train in one of those much-maligned "traditional martial arts," I have run into this an awful lot, although thankfully it doesn't really happen in our dojo. I have definitely had to clarify some things with people at seminars and camps outside of our dojo, though. Most recently, a guy was talking about defending a rear naked choke, and how the only thing he was ever taught to do was bite until they let go. To his credit, he was asking me if that would work, rather than "informing" me of its effectiveness, so he came into it with an open mind. The ones who complain about you grappling with them in sparring because they couldn't eye gouge, pull hair/ears, or strike the throat/groin, are pretty entertaining.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by BKR View Post
                    I am glad not a single one of of that type has ever showed up at any of my judo classes. Ever, in 34 years...that I can remember at least.
                    People respect Judo as a traditional martial so, I have rarely ever encountered or heard of trouble in Judo schools. You perfectly walk the line of TMA with alive training and competition.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by It is Fake View Post
                      People respect Judo as a traditional martial so, I have rarely ever encountered or heard of trouble in Judo schools. You perfectly walk the line of TMA with alive training and competition.
                      Plus every resume-inflating mcdojo master claims to have started their martial arts career with judo at a very young age.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        I actually have hope that more of this shit will start happening again. There was a whirlwind of ass whippings that got handed out in the late 90s to mid 2000s. Enough people were publicly embarrassed that this sort of thing became rare. But TMAers are rapidly forgetting the previously learned lessons. This should provide some serious entertainment within the next ten years.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by Devil View Post
                          I actually have hope that more of this shit will start happening again. There was a whirlwind of ass whippings that got handed out in the late 90s to mid 2000s. Enough people were publicly embarrassed that this sort of thing became rare. But TMAers are rapidly forgetting the previously learned lessons. This should provide some serious entertainment within the next ten years.
                          You might be right, especially since MMA is far from a style vs style thing that it use to be a fair bit of time ago.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by Devil View Post
                            TMAers are rapidly forgetting the previously learned lessons.
                            I'm sure they'll rediscover those lessons hidden in the kata.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Version 2 of Real Training vs. Shit Training should be even better than before. Because now you'll have some serious killers walking around who have trained properly since they were barely out of diapers and they'll be taking on the same old fat, lazy McDojo black belts.

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