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My Ten Year Bullshido Anniversary

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  • Holy Moment
    replied
    Originally posted by ermghoti View Post
    Was this the genesis of the infamous "penis" stamp of disapproval?
    No, the five character limit was.

    I've had thoughts of Street festering in me for a long, long time, though.

    http://www.bullshido.net/forums/show...=1#post1926831

    Leave a comment:


  • ermghoti
    replied
    I remember those gems as well.

    Woah, woah... woah. Woah.

    Originally posted by Holy Moment
    After trolling a few traditional martial arts forums, I discovered this place and have been PMing pictures of my penis to inactive accounts ever since (You know, as a "Welcome Home" present if they ever decided to log on and post again. Most don't).
    Was this the genesis of the infamous "penis" stamp of disapproval?
    Last edited by ermghoti; 9/01/2015 7:47pm, .

    Leave a comment:


  • Holy Moment
    replied
    Originally posted by Cornflakesforeva
    Very good. But what I think is more legit than street fighting is learning the techniques of Karate and all of its offsprings. I am not a master at Karate, but I have self taught myself and have gone through 2 months of Karate training. The reason I say this is because Karate is the best defense against street fighting. Streetfighters think its all about the size and strength of the opponent. I have seen a tiny kid take out the school bully with Karate. So if you read through my soon-to-come Karate Eggs, it may help you more. But you did nail it, concentration is key to everything!
    Originally posted by Cornflakesforeva
    I also have about an estimated 2000 black heads on my face. I live my Aunt and Uncle and they don't have the kind of money to buy treatment. Does anyone have any ways to get rid of black heads a fast and easy way just using stuff around my house. Please Help
    Penis.

    Leave a comment:


  • ermghoti
    replied
    He must have been proud.

    Leave a comment:


  • Holy Moment
    replied
    Originally posted by ermghoti View Post
    You brought that post to the forum's attention? Fabulous work, that's the Citizen Kane of online martial stupidity.
    I eventually tracked Cornflakes down and thanked him for inadvertently leading me to Bullshido.

    Leave a comment:


  • ermghoti
    replied
    Originally posted by Holy Moment View Post
    The best defense against street fighting is just plain knowledge.
    You brought that post to the forum's attention? Fabulous work, that's the Citizen Kane of online martial stupidity.

    Leave a comment:


  • W. Rabbit
    replied

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  • W. Rabbit
    replied

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  • W. Rabbit
    replied

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  • Holy Moment
    replied
    When they make the first punch they will not attack you right away because they don't yet have
    the adrenaline to do it.

    When they make the first punch they will not attack you right away because they don't yet have
    the adrenaline to do it.

    When they make the first punch they will not attack you right away because they don't yet have
    the adrenaline to do it.

    When they make the first punch they will not attack you right away because they don't yet have
    the adrenaline to do it.

    When they make the first punch they will not attack you right away because they don't yet have
    the adrenaline to do it.

    When they make the first punch they will not attack you right away because they don't yet have
    the adrenaline to do it.

    When they make the first punch they will not attack you right away because they don't yet have
    the adrenaline to do it.

    When they make the first punch they will not attack you right away because they don't yet have
    the adrenaline to do it.

    When they make the first punch they will not attack you right away because they don't yet have
    the adrenaline to do it.

    When they make the first punch they will not attack you right away because they don't yet have
    the adrenaline to do it.

    When they make the first punch they will not attack you right away because they don't yet have
    the adrenaline to do it.

    When they make the first punch they will not attack you right away because they don't yet have
    the adrenaline to do it.

    Leave a comment:


  • Holy Moment
    replied
    Jesus Christ, I can't believe I didn't tell you homos about how I actually ended up discovering Bullshido. It's a fucking incredible story that all must hear.

    Ok, so jump back to the Summer of 2005 when I was fourteen and fresh out of middle school. Earlier in the year I had quit Tang Soo Do after spending five years in the art; the lack of realism and excess pussiness of the style was becoming apparent to me, and I was beginning to wonder if the black belt my father's checks earned really meant anything. After a brief stint in Prying Mantis Kung-F (Which appealed to me at first but quickly earned my disdain once we started doing kata) I was encouraged to sign up for high-school wrestling by a gym teach who said I possessed an attractive physique. So training was to begin some time in July, but in the mean time I had nothing to do but roam the internet and dick around on horrible websites like Rotteneggs.com and various self-defense forums.

    After learning more about the martial arts world outside of TMA, I was beginning to harbor some very negative feelings about the boring, non-combat oriented training I previously had to endure; there was a lust for fighting in me that stood repressed during all the years I trained Tang Soo Do, and it was making me edgy as I waited to see if this "wrestling" claptrap was really what I wanted. I was a ticking time-bomb, essentially, and due to explode well before anybody could possibly cut my red wire. Something was going to set me off, all right... Something more heinous than anything the human mind could comprehend in its deepest introspection.

    http://www.bullshido.net/forums/showthread.php?t=120776

    Originally posted by Article by Cornflakesforeva on Rotteneggs

    Defense Against Street Fighing:

    The best defense against street fighting is just plain knowledge. If you know how to
    do swimmer blocks, and know how to throw a good seiken punch. Since street fighters
    work off of pure adrenaline, it leaves them open with opprotunities to no extent! Lets
    say, typically, street fighters will usually throw punches from the side which will leave
    their solar plexus (where the ribs come together, remember this) groin, stomach, kidney,
    neck (if the opprotunity is right, inside of their shoulders.. man the list can go on.
    Here I will explain each defensive technique, and some offensive techniques I usually
    perform when being confronted by hoodlems. By the way,the seiken is this: Have your
    arm down by your side with your elbow curled in and your palm facing toward you. When
    you extend your arm for the punch, twist so your hand is facing down right as you are
    straightening out your elbow (your elbow whould straighten out right as you make the hit.)
    Make sure you hit with your pointer and middle knuckle instead of your whole hand. This
    is more effective and hurts more than a full fist hit.

    Everything in karate is all about the mind. Every form of karate is all about the mind.
    The KEY to knocking out hoodlems is concentration. I explained how they will be very
    vulnerable because of their fighting style (swinging from side and into you.) I'll start
    off basic. The first thing to do is look for more vulnerabilities such as baggy pants,
    hats, loose shirts, etc. Take advantage of these. A loose shirt equals a good
    pull-over-head manuever. Baggy pants is good for stepping on and tripping. A hat impairs
    their visuals. Now, becuase of the way they hit you, you can easily break one of their
    wrists. When they swing at you, don't get an adrenaline rush right away. Try to dodge a
    few moves here and there, and block most of them. Do this until you are fully concentrated,
    then next time they swing at you, duck so their fist is over your head (stay close to their
    feet so they don't kick you) and jump up and surprise them and nail them right where their
    shoulder meets their arm. Feel around their for awhile, you'll know the spot.

    The all time best defense is the swimmers block though. When they come charging at you, clasp both of
    your hands together and throw their hands out of the way. You will see they are off balance
    and you have one, two, or maybe three free shots at them. If you know what you are doing you
    only need one. At this time nail them with an uppercut to the jaw, solar plexus, kidney,
    stomach, and groin (I recommend kidney.) Never EVER hit their neck unless you know what you
    are doing. If you feel a little old school and feel like getting in an old fashion brawl
    though, which I enjoy doing :), one of my personal favorite attacks is a hammer blow to the
    top-inside of their shouler. Feel around right next to your neck-back-shoulder area. You
    will feel that spot that hurt when you touch it. With a hammer blow right there I garauntee
    they won't use that arm. Also a nice seiken hit (explained above) into the middle of the
    bisep hurts REALLY bad! I got an elbow shoved into my arm playing football and couldn�t use
    that arm for 3 days. And lastly, my favorite is the Hidji. Using the elbow. With enough
    practice you can take hits like you wouldn't believe to your arm. Also if you shove your
    elbow right into the side of the head of a hoodlem, it really hurts.

    The best defensive combination against a street fight: Never ever give the first punch. It's unsportsmanlike (unless you really have too..) When they make the first punch they will not attack you right away because they don't yet have
    the adrenaline to do it. You on the other hand now have the power to take the guy out in a
    matter of seconds, with this technique. Since the hoodlem will be standing their, most likely
    in the boxing position (arms over face, not a good defense because if you ever have taken
    Karate you learned that the face isn't the best place to hit.. as long as you know what your
    doing.) This leave everything open, like I've explained before. Take out their knees. Just
    kick into the inside of their leg and this will shove them to the ground. The will at this
    time try to get up, this is when you make the hammer move into their shoulder, then knee them
    in the kidney. If you are scared of taking out their knee for lawsuit reasons, make a quick,
    and I mean QUICK move and jab your elbow into his kidney area. I swear he will cry like a
    little baby and will be very paralyzed.

    This all takes time. I advice you to do some reflex tests on the internet (the games where
    the background changes and you have to click the button..) because that really helps with
    fighting
    When I saw this article on Rotteneggs.com for the first time... I became more pissed off than I had ever been in my entire life. Never before had I wanted to call somebody a fucking idiot with so much maniacal rage. Every fiber of being wanted to make this lame-brained nebbish realize how horrifyingly offensive to the intellect his article was; my dick was practically grinding it's teeth at the thought of emotionally abusing him for trying to pass off this glob of vaginal discharge as legitimate self-defense advice. But... But something was wrong. There was a tic in the system, I couldn't comment. Try as I might, nothing I typed out ever got posted. Time and time again, I would attempt to blast him with a lengthy, acerbic rant but only get an error message in return. It was like a nightmare; I was Dan Severn with a smorgasbord of ass in front of him, but a cock that. Just. Wouldn't. Erect.

    I couldn't just let this fester inside of me, I had to take out my frustrations SOMEWHERE. And so, with a throbbing vein in my right temple threatening to rip my skull in half, I stormed off into the internet looking for a new venue to express my disenchantment with the traditional martial arts.

    http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/u...560#Post168560

    http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/u...614#Post168614

    (Several threads of mine were deleted from that particular site. Among them was one where I tried to articulate what a McDojo was before being informed that it was a very well-known phenomenon).

    Everywhere I went, though, I was rejected. To my surprise, a great deal of martial artists on the internet still wanted to cling to their pussy TMA beliefs (Which is something I know to be a fact of life today, but maddening to me back then). I didn't think there'd be any place where I'd be able to express my thoughts with like-minded people... Until I discovered the magical world of Bullshido.

    http://www.bullshido.net

    Every vague, abstract feeling I had about the state of martial arts... Firmly and concretely explained by the people here. Jegus, Mary, Broseph, I don't think I've ever been as hard as I was reading this site for the first time. It was enlightening as it was exciting; as I swiftly learned, there were several dumbass martial beliefs still pent up inside of me that I had yet to expurgate with my budding logic. Thankfully, Bullshido fried those out but quick.



    (I actually owned a Dillman book. Still have it, as a matter of fact, but I tore a great deal of the pages out over the years for art projects).

    Although my first stint on the site wasn't great (I ended up getting myself banned from AOL harassing costumed supervillain Ashida Kim in an impotent attempt to impress u dudes) over the years I've had a lot of great times on this webzone. For newer members of this site, you'd be downright amazed at the things I've seen. When Osiris put the lay on kung-fu pussy John F. Springer in a parking lot, I was here; when Rudy Abel got his ass grabbed and his ear ground, I was here. I saw Sirc get chunned, and Bobby Joe Blythe get shitslammed. It's been a glorious ride.

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  • Holy Moment
    replied
    I'm trying to find some remnants of the Ashida Kim-Savatuer war. Nearly all of it is lost at this point in time.

    Leave a comment:


  • Holy Moment
    replied
    I read on an encyclopedia that a BJJ theory is that the main advantage of a bigger person is longer reach and greater strength. On the ground in close quarters, these advantages are taken away, thus giving the smaller fighter a beater chance. Do instructors really tell you this?
    Penis.

    You could do an eye gouge in a real fight, but I'm not sure they allow that in BJJ.
    Peeeeeeeeeeeenissssssssssssssss.

    Strikes are good for wearing down an opponent for a submission.
    I was a comedic genius when I was in middle school.

    I mean it. I live in New Jersey of the United States( of Mars) and I can bring some more people( Let's see, I can bring: Roseanne Barr, Pennywise the Dancing Clown, Douchebag Jones, Fatass Maloy, Phil Elmore( against his will), Leslie Crotchmonger, Eric Shin, Pett Zahutt, Tits Magee, George W. Bush, The Flying Douchebag, him, and anybody else I see on a daily basis. We are very tight knit, and we really can't undo the stitches.). I will fly over to Tokeyo( I'm spelling it wrong on purpose. No ofnse) and I will do the dirty deed, and I will fight the good fight, and I will snort Wasabi.
    I skimmed over this quote slightly but couldn't finish it because the douche-chills were cramping my back.

    Oh, by the way if you don't know, Pennywise the Clown was Stephen King's it monster.
    Here is an idea: Take a victim as a prisoner and take care of him. Then, after a week, you break his pinky finger. Give him a caste, treat him well. Then after another week, break his ring finger. Treat him well, and so on breaking his fingers. Then, after all fingers on one hand is broken, break part of his arm. Go up the arm until the shoulder. Then work the fingers and arm on the limb. Still treat him well, and in another week, work the legs. Keep finding differant body parts to break after weeks. He'll die in about a year.

    Also, film him/her while he goes to the bathroom.
    Context is for pussies.

    I bought this SD book, Ketsugo, from a catalouge, and I must say it is fascinating. A 65-page, black and white soft-cover book with 205 illustrations for " easy learning". According to the summary on the back of this, you can be unbeatable just by reading. You can defeat stronger and more expierenced opponents. Also, the book says, that many of the techniques in this book have been kept secret until recently( the techniques have been taken from the arts of Judo, Karate, Ate-Wazi, Aikido, Yawara, Savate, and Jiu-Jitsu. Secret, right.). " Ketsugo, the greatest name in self-defense." Jesus, you don't even have to open this book to tell it is Bullshido. And when you do open this book, you will find amazing techniques and concepts such as: A Savate knife defense in which you throw a hook kick to the attackers head, a bunch of Karate hand techniques in which you would break your hands if you tried to apply them, throw an x-block to defend against a high punch and charging knee, an Aikdo rear bear hug defense technique that involves directly resisting your attackers strength, a technique to be used against a larger person who is pushing you that will ( if the attacker realises what your doing, or stops pushing, or is striking, or falls on you) backfire against the defender, a cat-stance like fighting stance that will leave your chest exposed, and loads of techniques that , not only are hard to master even with a partner but, are so complex, it would be improbable for anyone to pull them of under pressure. Also, this book is loaded with tiny, un-detailed illustrations that will hardly give you any help in mastering these techniques. The books text is un-detailed, they do not cover putting power in your techniques, they don't cover multiple opponents, they don't cover ground fighting, and they hardly give you any idea of what it is like to work under pressure. However, they do give you a handy-dandy little chart about pressure points and nerve centers( most of which you would hit without trying). The chart doesn't cover how to attach these points and how much pressure to use on this. This book was written by S. Henry Robert, Esq. and illustrated by Robert Urdang, of which I now call the Douchebag Two. The preface states that " No effort has been spared to make this a thorough, practical course on self-defense. " Yeah, right. This book is horrible Bullshido. Even if a begginer did learn something from this book, he/she would undoubtfully forget these techniques in a fight. This book is total suckage.

    Which brings me to this question: What is the worst MA/SD book/video/DVD you have ever read or seen?
    I lost the pamphlet while working as a Summer housekeeper in Rutgers University. My job was to rub my penis on the underside of all the dorm faucets and misplace old martial arts instructional comics in the lobby couches.

    Oh crap, the Christian forums banned me because my username was Ihategod1234
    That may be true for Japanese MA, BatRonin, but what is the point have high kicking when low kicking is faster? If you are kicking that high, then couldn't the Japnese artist just come in a punch because he sees you raise your leg above his waist.
    As for JKDChicks sexuality: JKDChick is just a man with really big hooters.
    Don't take this as a shot at you, JKDChick. Remember, it takes one to know one. And I think I have pictures of myself to prove it. Just wait.
    Please unban Savatuer.

    Leave a comment:


  • W. Rabbit
    replied
    Originally posted by Holy Moment View Post
    Hell naw. Jazzercise is Street as fuck.
    You're forgetting the ninjaerobics from "Ninja III: The Domination".

    Street as fuck is Lucinda Dickey possessed by the ghost of a dead Ninja assassin, teaching aerobics, in 1984.

    Keep in mind she's only warming up here to go on a demonic murder rampage armed with ninjutsu.

    Leave a comment:


  • Holy Moment
    replied
    Originally posted by W. Rabbit View Post
    Those are all the styles that didn't show up to early UFC.

    I, for one, would have wanted to see Yellow Bamboo vs. Savate, Jazzercise vs. Ninjutsu, or Yoga vs. Wing Chun.

    My money would have been on Savate, Ninjutsu, and Yoga, in case you were wondering.
    Hell naw. Jazzercise is Street as fuck.

    Leave a comment:

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