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The most street things you have ever done

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    I used to paddle along the sidewalk like this:

    down San Diego's boardwalk during the summer. The boardwalk is lined with nice rental properties that get rented out by rich assholes from Arizona. As I paddled by one such place, I got heckled by some drunk bros hanging out on a balcony. Well it turns out that I can reach the edge of the balcony (my stick's 7 feet long), so on the way back as I skate by I use my stick to knock over like a dozen drinks. Some of them run down to confront me but I've already got a good head start so I flash the bird and skate home.




        When I was kid I used to be really into sneaker fashion. My dad is a janitor in a shopping center so we didn't have a lot of money. He would save up whatever money the bills didn't eat to buy me shoes, sometimes video games so that I wouldn't be "behind" other kids. Back in 01'-'02 he saved up enough to buy this really nice pair of jordans for my birthday. To this day they are my favorite pair of shoes.

        One day I was walking down the street and two older kids bumped into me. One of them asked for my shoes and I refused. At the time I was a blue belt in Shotokan karate. I had no experience sparring other than pre-arranged one step sparring and thought fights were supposed to look like katas, forgive me I was 10. I started doing Heian Godan and by whatever miracle those kids backed off.


          One time I seen a homeless man with a cup for change, he was veiled in his cloak (trench coat) and a baseball hat pointed down over his face.

          As I was putting my change into the cup I feel a sudden grip on my wrist and the homeless man goes "I've been expecting you" then a epic battle breaks out

          I won via KO!


            I've realized something, to be street one has to be one with street, to be enlightened. I've decided to be homeless for a few days and meditate on teh real streets.


              Sometimes, when I'm on the street, I'll fart silently as I pass a group of people then after a few steps I'll turn around and watch them argue about who did it.


                Originally posted by Mortal_wombat View Post
                I started doing Heian Godan and by whatever miracle those kids backed off.
                No miracle - it's well-established that Heian Godan is the most street of all Streetokan kata.


                  Originally posted by Chili Pepper View Post
                  No miracle - it's well-established that Heian Godan is the most street of all Streetokan kata.
                  Of course how could I forget! That's why those hoodlums streeted their pants. There's even a weapon defense hidden in the kata (2:27).


                    A while back on a late night -
                    I was jogging a few times around this block for cardio and each time I'd go around there was people playing catch with a football and one of them would say something rude to me and it was the biggest guy. He even tried to throw the football at me at one point so I picked up a nail nearby and when he threw at me again when I came around I caught it and deflated the football.

                    Then I TPd and egged their house later in the early morning


                      Got into a dumb fight for dumb (a girl) reasons in high school. Met at Dolores Park to fight, as soon as my back was turned to square off with homey I was set upon by 2 additional gentlemen. I turn and shout "What the Fu-" boom, I'm punched in the face and dropped by the guy I came to fight. At this point I have to go fetal to protect the organs and head from the 3 man boot (well, Air Jordan) party I am receiving.

                      Walked home beat up, and went to bed. Was woken up by enraged stepdad when he saw the state of my face when he came in to my room to smoke a cigarette. I was given a ride to school in the morning, along with a (redacted upon further reflection) and a pep talk concerning not being a punk.

                      By the end of the day, 1 had been struck with some blunt object from behind while pissing at the urinal. He ended up changing dropping out and never coming back after he was released from the hospital, though I hear crack was a factor as well. School gets in the way of crack smoking.

                      End of the week, #2 had had a nasty spill down the stairs. Apparently as his class was heading down the stairs from the library he must have tripped, and fallen down a flight of stairs. He was ok, suddenly wanted to be friends a couple days later.

                      #3 apologized for the altercation, in front of his peers. I heard a rumor of some threat upon a family member of his living on the wrong block. He must have had an epiphany that violence is circular, and had a crisis on conscience.

                      And that is my 2nd most street story. Heavily edited.


                        I was visiting Seattle and some meth head tried to rob me on Capitol Hill. Long story short; tweakers don't feel pain, so I dislocated his elbow with a fujiwara arm bar and swept him to the ground. He then chased me to a residential street. There was a pile of clay garden bricks in this front yard and I pegged him with at least 5 until he gave up on me. Coincidentally, I haven't been back to Seattle since then.


                          There was a large folk festival in my city and everybody was out drinking. I was walking to my friends, it was night, and came by some drunk teenagers. One of the guys tried to impress the girls of the group and he started this stupid puberty posturing shit and insulted me. He pushed me and I threw a hammer fist do his ear. He dropped on his butt and nothing more happened - not really spectacular. I'm surprised I threw a hammer fist though because I have been boxing for 4 years and have never practiced hammer fists.


                            Recently I was discussing joint locking and choking techniques that would be most applicable in the Street with a local BJJ instructor. I was actually positively surprised how many guys he had totally Streeted with BJJ tehcniques. But when he told about armbaring 2 guys at once while working as a bouncer I started to be confused... I asked him that is it you or the Streer taling? There was a momentarily silence. Then he answered... "Sam... I... AM the Street".

                            It was a day of sreetlighntenment...


                              closest thing to street I ever had was when three drunks tried to get shovey and aggressive with me. One of them was so plastered he tried to grab me and missed cause I just stepped out of the way.

                              His mate spat on my face, I stood there, looked him dead in the eye and thanked him, cause I needed a wash.

                              Kept walking, since I have better things to do with my time


                                I ate empanadas from a Lukoil.



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