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The most street things you have ever done

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    #31
    Some drunk asshole kicked in the door of a "private dance" joint I owned and ran across the "street". I caught up to him and he tried to deck me with a haymaker.

    I grabbed his lapels, shifted my weight and threw him face first into the side of a moving car before viciously molly whopping him about the head and face while he tried to get up.

    This was while barefoot (don't ask), in the rain, at night, in a shite drug alley neighborhood with hookers and meth dealers trying to break it up.

    I figured I'd won on account of him touching the ground so "AIDS".

    You street in your pants yet?
    Last edited by Mr. Machette; 3/01/2015 2:35am, .

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      #32
      Alright so in my first year at university I ran with a fairly weird crowd - somehow the anime society, the pagan society and the martial arts clubs intersected to form the worst Venn Diagram ever.

      Anyway, we got into the habit of going down to the local BP service station at like 4am for snacks and greasy chicken, usually with whatever assorted "ninja weapons" were available. We'd then hang out in the parking lot of the local supermarket/strip mall thing and do stupid stuff.

      One of these BP runs happened to be on the birthday of one of the... less stable female members of the group. We'd decided it'd be cool to make her a bright orange ninja suit (thrift store go!) and, using the excellent judgement that 18-19 year old nerds are known for, two machetes.

      I don't recall exactly what happened, but I ended up with this girl semi-seriously coming at me with two live blades and defending myself with a chair leg while trying not to hurt her. I still have the scar on my elbow.

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        #33
        I've been advised by my lawyers not to answer this question on the grounds I may incriminate myself in future trials.
        GET A RED BELT OR DIE TRYIN'.
        Originally posted by Devil
        I think Battlefields and I had a spirited discussion once about who was the biggest narcissist. We both wanted the title but at the end of the day I had to concede defeat. Can't win 'em all.
        Originally posted by BackFistMonkey
        I <3 Battlefields...

        Comment


          #34
          Originally posted by battlefields View Post
          I've been advised by my lawyers not to answer this question on the grounds I may incriminate myself in future trials.
          And we KNOW you're not joking.

          Comment


            #35
            Originally posted by gregaquaman View Post
            Lol.

            Check out the guys surname.
            Huh. Something about that story...

            [sunglasses]

            ...doesn't seem legitimate.

            [rogerdaltry]

            Comment


              #36
              Originally posted by Mr. Machette View Post
              Some drunk asshole kicked in the door of a "private dance" joint I owned...

              This was while barefoot (don't ask)
              "Don't ask?"

              OH YES I'M FUCKING ASKING.

              Comment


                #37
                Originally posted by jnp View Post
                I worked on a paving crew when I was younger. We made the street!

                Everytime I drive down that stretch of road, I make sure I mention that I'm it's father.
                Sorry, clumsy fingers...
                Meant to up vote that.

                Comment


                  #38
                  one of my street stories just one as i don't want to appear too street...

                  So when I was a young man...younger man I use to work in my uncle's nightclub in inglewood california *if you are from california you know how ghetto this is and this instantly gives me like "street" points* anywho my job was to run the day to day operations. Of course like any young man I would get caught up in the whole "im the manager" of a night club...and would sometimes stay to see the fruits of my labor. Well on one saturday night...

                  We had a situation where one guy got mad at another guy cause he was in the restroom and some other guy asked his girl to dance, being the peon that she is he agreed and said drunk boyfriend got jealous and threw a fit. Said fit escalated to a minor brawl that our low rent security *my uncle would not allow me to hire better ones* *btw our security was worse than top flight security...* Anyhow so our security couldnt' handle the situation so myself and my cousin jumped in to kindly escort these men out.

                  Unfortunately as soon as they were out the kindness went away quickly when the guy turned around and tried to punch me in the face. Now guys...I am a kicker... to me there's something more badass than a kick connecting to the side of a man's dome so I went for the kick and got him square in the jaw and he dropped. Another cousin who was in the club at the time ran out to see what was going on and kicked the dude on the ground in the side of the head * I was pissed cause he did this*

                  The other guy who my cousin was fighting ended up getting tag teamed and it was just sad...

                  Anyhow the reason I mentioned only one story is that the above happened virtually every weekend with varying levels of difficulty. Meaning some were drunk others were misbehaving and had more of their clarity when fighting.

                  Comment


                    #39
                    Originally posted by ChenPengFi View Post
                    I watched part of "Simply Ming" on PBS last night. He was doing the tour of Japanese "street food" in Tokyo.

                    Why the fuck I didn't go to Japan to do judo and eat when I was younger, had the time, and could afford it I am still pondering.

                    Comment


                      #40
                      One time I accidentally knocked over a motorcycle when stepping out of a bar, and it ended up knocking down a whole gang's bikes like dominoes. The bikers ran outside, caught me and tied me up, then they talked about whether they'd hang, skin, and/or murder me. But with some smooth talk and some sweet dance moves, I won their hearts as Tequila played in the background.

                      Comment


                        #41
                        Originally posted by It is Fake View Post
                        See, someone understands "the street." So, yes, I am saying these are Sesame Street stories. Nothing wrong with them, but I was hoping for something different than "one day at band camp..."
                        Oh, I get it now ! This is the most "street" I've ever gotten.

                        I managed to hook up with an uber-hot girlfriend when I lived in New Orleans (she claimed to be a Cherokee princess, LOL), after I had move there in 1986. That was exotic stuff for a redneck from Wichita Falls... seriously, though, she was the kind of woman that upon walking into a bar/restaurant all the men would stop and stare at her, of course, wondering "what the hell is she doing with that runty looking carrot topped guy ?

                        Met her at a movie theater that was playing "The Song Remains the Same" in Algiers Point, on the West Bank (note all the hip NOLA geographical references).

                        Here, it was the "Abalon".

                        http://cinematreasures.org/theaters/17864

                        Myself and 3-4 friends from grad school drove over the GNO bridge in my old Toyota 4WD truck.

                        LOL, this one is the same color and trim package.


                        But imagine 33" BFG All-Terrain T/As on it...
                        with a "I love Judo" sticker on the bumper.


                        Two in the front and 2 in the back with the cooler of beer and vodka.

                        Imagine a movie theater that serves drinks and has kegs of beer. Full of drunk people. Watching Led Zeppelin movie, huge sound system, all on a very hot and humid September evening in 1986.

                        Anyway we ended up giving her a ride home to the French Quarter, back across the GNO. She sat in the front with me, of course. To keep this street, here is the apartment she lived in, 3rd floor. If you've ever driven in NOLA, you know just how "street" it can be...
                        https://www.google.com/maps/@29.9546...CPw1MbFlgg!2e0

                        Of course, I was totally smitten with her (you know, typical 23 year old romantic). She worked outside a bar/music place, dressed in an antebellum dress complete with hoop skirt, hawking people to go inside.

                        Met her there one night and surprised the shit out of her. Ended up walking her home (1 am in the Quarter ).

                        Anyway, this is getting long. Hot chick, French Quarter, she eventually moved in with me.

                        She got a job working selling drinks at Big Daddy's.


                        So, back to the street. One morning about 3 am I get a call from her to come pick her up at work, out front. She's upset, whispering, and hangs up. So like any dutiful boyfriend, I get dressed, grab my .357, two speed loaders full of ammo, and head to the Quarter. (carrying a loaded gun in your vehicle is legal in Louisiana, or at least used to be).

                        When I get there, I drive by the place once, and see her peking out the door. She saw me, so I go around the block, and pull up front, at which time she sprints out and jumps (up) into the truck, and I haul ass.

                        She went on to explain she had made $750 in tips that night, which had pissed off the dancers, who had called their boyfriends to take a "fair share" from her. She produced a large roll of bills...

                        Anyway, that got repeated several times over the next few weeks. She eventually got robbed and raped one night before I went to pick her up.

                        Not exactly Sesame Street not, but far enough away from it for a white boy from north Texas...

                        Comment


                          #42
                          Originally posted by BKR View Post
                          Oh, I get it now ! This is the most "street" I've ever gotten.

                          I managed to hook up with an uber-hot girlfriend when I lived in New Orleans (she claimed to be a Cherokee princess, LOL), after I had move there in 1986. That was exotic stuff for a redneck from Wichita Falls... seriously, though, she was the kind of woman that upon walking into a bar/restaurant all the men would stop and stare at her, of course, wondering "what the hell is she doing with that runty looking carrot topped guy ?

                          Met her at a movie theater that was playing "The Song Remains the Same" in Algiers Point, on the West Bank (note all the hip NOLA geographical references).

                          Here, it was the "Abalon".

                          http://cinematreasures.org/theaters/17864

                          Myself and 3-4 friends from grad school drove over the GNO bridge in my old Toyota 4WD truck.

                          LOL, this one is the same color and trim package.


                          But imagine 33" BFG All-Terrain T/As on it...
                          with a "I love Judo" sticker on the bumper.


                          Two in the front and 2 in the back with the cooler of beer and vodka.

                          Imagine a movie theater that serves drinks and has kegs of beer. Full of drunk people. Watching Led Zeppelin movie, huge sound system, all on a very hot and humid September evening in 1986.

                          Anyway we ended up giving her a ride home to the French Quarter, back across the GNO. She sat in the front with me, of course. To keep this street, here is the apartment she lived in, 3rd floor. If you've ever driven in NOLA, you know just how "street" it can be...
                          https://www.google.com/maps/@29.9546...CPw1MbFlgg!2e0

                          Of course, I was totally smitten with her (you know, typical 23 year old romantic). She worked outside a bar/music place, dressed in an antebellum dress complete with hoop skirt, hawking people to go inside.

                          Met her there one night and surprised the shit out of her. Ended up walking her home (1 am in the Quarter ).

                          Anyway, this is getting long. Hot chick, French Quarter, she eventually moved in with me.

                          She got a job working selling drinks at Big Daddy's.


                          So, back to the street. One morning about 3 am I get a call from her to come pick her up at work, out front. She's upset, whispering, and hangs up. So like any dutiful boyfriend, I get dressed, grab my .357, two speed loaders full of ammo, and head to the Quarter. (carrying a loaded gun in your vehicle is legal in Louisiana, or at least used to be).

                          When I get there, I drive by the place once, and see her peking out the door. She saw me, so I go around the block, and pull up front, at which time she sprints out and jumps (up) into the truck, and I haul ass.

                          She went on to explain she had made $750 in tips that night, which had pissed off the dancers, who had called their boyfriends to take a "fair share" from her. She produced a large roll of bills...

                          Anyway, that got repeated several times over the next few weeks. She eventually got robbed and raped one night before I went to pick her up.

                          Not exactly Sesame Street not, but far enough away from it for a white boy from north Texas...
                          Dude you can't end it like that what happened? You made ger wifey?

                          Uber street fyi

                          Comment


                            #43
                            Originally posted by gileanofgrey View Post
                            Dude you can't end it like that what happened? You made ger wifey?

                            Uber street fyi
                            No, no wifey...it got even more street, but, probably a bit too personal to continue. Let's just say I learned some important lessons...

                            Comment


                              #44
                              Was she really making that much in tips or was she stealing?

                              Comment


                                #45
                                My guess is she was blowing dudes in the bathroom for about $3.50. And may have been a massive paleolithic creature.

                                Comment

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