Introducing a Child to the Magical World of MA

[Sri Hanuman]

That's the most beta thing I've ever read.

Clearly you've never been stabbed with a frying pan.

[itwasntme]

That's the most beta thing I've ever read.

You gotsta keep the women folk happy

[Devil]

You gotsta keep the women folk happy

I keep my wife happy by being an awesome motherfucker, not by kissing her ass.

[W. Rabbit]

That's the most beta thing I've ever read.

The top alphas have convinced everyone else they are a beta.

Also known as "Verbal's Theorem".

[Devil]

My prediction?

As soon as Jnr is safely ensconced in college, Mrs Devil will run off with Janice, her long term lebian lover, sue you for divorce (citing emotional cruelty), and take you for every penny you have

But don't worry, you will still be an awsome motherfucker

You're making the mistake of assuming a motherfucker as awesome as me has to operate within the same rules as people as lame as you.

My wife isn't running anywhere because she knows her friends have a waiting list to see who can post selfies from my bedroom on facebook and escape their pathetic existences with their lame, permission asking husbands.

If my wife had a lesbian lover, she would've already presented her to me on my birthday.

[Devil]

The top alphas have convinced everyone else they are a beta.

pffft. Bitch talk.

[Sri Hanuman]

The entirety of P.3 reminds me of this.

[Devil]

When she does split, I'm guessing Tranquil Suit will offer to be your next wife

Jokes won't make you more of a badass, funnyman.

[BKR]

Judo is good for all ages (above three or so).

3 is wayyyy to fucking young, unless you are talking about playing with your own child as in "wrestling with mommy or daddy".

6 or 7 is youngest, depending on maturity, and availability of a competent instructor/school.

[BKR]

See my post to Rabbit in response to his inquiring about home BJJ drills etc. to do with his son.

No blows to the head for kids, period. Grappling is the way to go, not that that isn't without risk of concussions. Of course, riding a bike or jumping on a trampoline isn't without risk.

[W. Rabbit]

When she does split, I'm guessing Tranquil Suit will offer to be your next wife

Wait...Tranquil Suit is a woman? /mind blown

Or did you mean wife, as in "prison"?

[W. Rabbit]

3 is wayyyy to fucking young, unless you are talking about playing with your own child as in "wrestling with mommy or daddy".

6 or 7 is youngest, depending on maturity, and availability of a competent instructor/school.

My BJJ school has a 4-6 program, 7-12, and adult.

I've only watched the 7-12 which is fairly rigorous. If anyone is interested, I'll stop by a little early one day and see how they do it with the littlest group, chances are it's a very cautious metered approach limited to fundamentals like ukemi and rolling...

"tumbling" is I believe the non-MA word for that sort of thing and it's pretty common esp in gymnastics. Little girls (especially in places like China) learn this as young as 3.

[Sri Hanuman]

Be strong, Wimp-Lo.

[Devil]

T-it is definately a bitch

Motherfucker, you can't even spell definitely. Spellcheck would make you look like less of a dumbass. For real.

[Permalost]

I'd say 6 or 7 is the earliest to get your kids into MA. Sure, you can find studios who will babysit them 4 years earlier but before about 5, coordination is really challenging to the point of frustration (unless the teacher is making things so easy as to be pointless).