"Seemed like a good idea at the time..."

[Kin Kong]

Sometimes when you're in the heat of (proverbial) battle -- between the adrenaline-fueled shit-storm of emotion, sensation, and inclination -- you have a moment of clarity. For a moment, everything slows down; the shroud of doubt and uncertainty is lifted, and the path to victory becomes clear before you. You know exactly what you need to do, and now is the time to do it!

It doesn't work. You fail epically. You facepalm whenever you think about it.

This is the thread to share stories of times you tried something in competition (or sparring) that seemed like an AWESOME idea at the time... but was completely stupid in hindsight.

I'll start with two of my favorites:

Finals of NAGA Expert Division, facing a leglock ninja who I've seen take home gold every time for years. I know my only chance is to get on top and play a tight game. I shoot for a takedown, which he stuffs easily. Oh god, why?! I try again and he defends once more.

The end of his previous match, in which he lands a prefect flying scissor takedown to heel hook finish, flashes before my eyes. I can't go out like that... I can't! But the longer I fail to get him down, the higher the chance he Ryo Chonan's my ass!

I shoot once more and we end up in a clinch. No! It's gonna happen! Fuck this, I'm pulling guard!

... Wait, what? So I jump guard (which I never do, so I'm really bad at). Leglock Ninja keeps his standing base, looks at me quizzically, smirks, then spins into a kneebar, transitions into a heel hook, and graciously releases me as I tap the mat frantically. Whoops.

And then there's my most recent goof, which worked out better in the end, but was still cringe worthy.

It's the third round of an EPIC MMA fight between me and a top-ranked 7-1 prospect fighting out of the Blackzillians camp. I have no idea what's going on in terms of the scorecards, but I'm probably behind. I just botched a guillotine attempt, my back is kind of against the cage, but I'm turning to get this fight back to the feet ASAP. He reaches around my back over my shoulder and it's then that the combined spirits of Karo Parisyan, Gene Lebell, and Jigoro Kano suddenly take command of my mortal frame!

Both of my hands secure my opponent's arm to the crook of my neck and shoulder, and with all of my might, I hurl that shoulder diagonally down to the mat! DROP SEIONAGI MOTHERFUCKER! Except I don't know Judo, so it doesn't work, and he takes my back. WOMP!

So yeah, share your stories so that we may all laugh at one another's expense!

[ghost55]

I don't have much to draw on, but one incident that took place during light sparring comes to mind. I was sparring someone who had much better timing than I did, and was also more flexible, and thus he was completely controlling the fight (I am still very new Muay Thai). After a solid two minutes of me wondering "how the fuck am I going to touch this guy?" I had a "brilliant revelation. I just had to get in nice and close, thus negating his timing and flexibility advantage. What could possibly go wrong. I clinch up. Then I notice that his arms kinda resemble anacondas. He grabs my head, and shoves it straight down. My neck felt awful for about a week and a half after that. Just sitting down hurt for like three days.

[DKJr]

This guy I'm facing won a 16 man brown belt invitational last week all by toe hold so what do I do, takedown and smash on top? lol Nope trade leglocks. Live by the sword, die by the sword I suppose.

[FinalLegion]

About 10 years ago, I was attending a gaming convention. On the list of activities, I saw that there was going to be a kenjutsu demonstration given by Sensei Tony Kull and some of his students. After the demo, he invited people up and gave us some short lessons which included drawing the sword and some basic defenses. He then brought out several shinai and invited us to pair up and drill while he looked on.

So, of course, I ask if I can pair up with Sensei Kull. He was very pleasant and went through the moves with me, stopping to correct and while he was kind in his attitude, he was direct in approach. After we did this for a little while, he asked if I had any exposure to kenjutsu before this. I told him that I had a little experience with kendo. He said that was good and that he thought I should get back into it. I asked him if we could continue the session or does he have to go, he says no, but let's change up partners.

So I pair off with this guy who is about 6'1". Now I'm only 5'6", but I'm feeling invincible 'cause I was just sparring with Sensei. This guy may be bigger than me but he is gonna feel THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL, MOTHERFUCKER!

I rear up with a two handed over-head strike, kiai like a banshee and charge!!

And that's why about 2 seconds later I was sitting on my ass, wondering why the world was all fuzzy, why my face hurt so much and why some guy was kneeling next to me saying, "Dude! I'm sorry! Are you alright?!?!" Someone finally found my glasses, Sensei Kull took a look at me, decided I had enough for one day and put an ice pack on my face.

Lesson learned.

[ermghoti]

DROP SEIONAGI MOTHERFUCKER! Except I don't know Judo, so it doesn't work, and he takes my back.

That is an awesome turn of phrase. Respect, and LOL.

I got nothing, I suck too much to have ideas.

[Permalost]

At the SDGI tournament, I attempted to do a spinning back kick to a charging opponent. In fact I had success in knocking people down with the same kick at the tournament the previous year. But for some reason, I didn't turn my head to look over my opposite shoulder- I kept my gaze straight at my opponent as my body spun, extending my left leg out as I looked over my right shoulder. Its a very awkward way to kick, but I felt a little better about it when I learned its a kick in taekyon. Anyway, it landed solidly to the gut like I wanted it to.

[Bneterasedmynam]

I think one of the dumbest things I have ever done while sparring was in karate. While doing a bit of light sparring I decided to be somewhat retarded by using combos from a certain video game character from a fighting game. Now it did actually work against two people, however trying that stupid approach against the instructor was something I should have not tried. It was an epic fail. Anyway I will still try stupid shit whenever possible because to me having fun when training is the most important aspect.

[ghost55]

I think one of the dumbest things I have ever done while sparring was in karate. While doing a bit of light sparring I decided to be somewhat retarded by using combos from a certain video game character from a fighting game. Now it did actually work against two people, however trying that stupid approach against the instructor was something I should have not tried. It was an epic fail. Anyway I will still try stupid shit whenever possible because to me having fun when training is the most important aspect.

Can you be more specific about the game and the moves? I mean there is a difference between attempting to hadoken, or just trying a scissor-leg takedown the way Scorpion does it.

[goodlun]

dropping Judo at a damn good Judo school to go learn "Karate" (they had like 10 styles that megared and taught) at a strip mall dojo it was a "Martial Arts Academy" yeah that was about the dumbest shit I had ever done.
Yep world of great grappling to no contact strip mall karate fuck you 11 year old self. Also Fuck you all you late 80s early 90s movies that made that shit look like a good idea.

[BKR]

I've got quite a few from Judo competition.

This one is kinda long winded but funny. Once upon a time (early '90s?) I went to a shiai in Mississippi. This was a special shiai, because it was part of an outdoor, camp-out in the woods by a lake kind of martial arts camp. Mind you, I didn't go to the camp, just to the shiai to referee and then compete. In any case, I get there, and being Mississippi (southern) in some hot part of the year (always pretty much), I'm very glad I didn't camp out.

So, the shiai venue is set up...you guessed it, outside. Nice level piece of ground, chairs all around, really pretty cool. Until I took off my shoes (as a referee) to inspect the mats for cracks and other dangerous features. There wasn't any shade...so the mats had been in the burning Mississippi sun all morning...I right away jumped off. I felt like I had stepped onto a hot skillet !

So I go to the tournament/camp director and explain. He checks it out, and agrees no way can we have bare footed kids doing judo 1. In the sun and 2. On broiler temp mats.

Next, we look around for some shade. There is a large tree of some sort about 100 yards away. So we get some help and set up the mats in the shade cast by the tree. Problem is, it's not level ground (bumpy) and on a slope !

Well, the show must go on, and despite my warnings of liability blah blah blah, we have our shiai on sloping, bumpy ground on fold out gym mats. Rebel Yell !

Things go well, and it comes my turn to compete. I'm a black belt already, and it's an open weight/rank men's division. I do well, my typical seoi nage and kouchi stuff, plus a couple of arm bars. It's still blazing hot, and I feel more like an imagined samurai grappling on the battlefield than a judoka, but what the hell, right ?

So for first and second place it comes down to me another black belt. He's special, being maybe 5'10 and 250 pounds, with me at 5'7 and 145 lbs. No worries, though, he was slow as a slug. Not unskilled, but not impressive to my young (late 20s) judoka mind.

Match starts, and I throw him for a waza ari with seoi otoshi. We dance/lumber/stagger around a bit, end up in a scramble on the ground. I have the bright idea to do what is now called "recover guard" and of course, I'm confident he'll stick his arm above my waist like most unsophisticated judoka, and I'll armbar him from (what was then not known) as guard. ***

So I maneuver, set him up, here comes the arm, right according to plan. Wait, what's wrong ? I can't move ! What the fuck ? This huge sweating whale is in my guard, which I can't seem to "open", and I cant' really move...

It seems I had rolled into a depression in the hills and dales of the folding mat, caused by the uneven ground (and not a few tree roots) under it. Whale-man gets this evil look on his face, and lays his large gut onto my chest, grabs my arm, and performs the Ude Garami **** from hell on me. It was pure shoulder, no elbow, and in any case I was tapping right away.

So I get a silver medal, a bad sunburn, and a sore shoulder for my 3 hour trip to Bumfuck, MS and my cockiness.




*** I realize you "younger" guys and gals think that there was no such thing as "armbar from guard" in Judo until the Gracies hit the scene and we judoka stole the idea from them, then claimed it for our own. But I assure it did exist and was done. By me at least !

**** Another technique we stole from BJJ/GJJ, LOL !

[Permalost]

I think one of the dumbest things I have ever done while sparring was in karate. While doing a bit of light sparring I decided to be somewhat retarded by using combos from a certain video game character from a fighting game. Now it did actually work against two people, however trying that stupid approach against the instructor was something I should have not tried. It was an epic fail. Anyway I will still try stupid shit whenever possible because to me having fun when training is the most important aspect.

Oh, its like that time I did that thing, from that one movie! Oh, that time. The look on my opponent's face was definitely a look. It was like the look that actor gave that actress in that movie when they were doing that thing. It reminded me of other times that I did a thing that was like a different thing.

[Bneterasedmynam]

Sorry I was a bit lacking in info lol, I was in a hurry. The character I mimicked was Jan Lee from doa and yes it's as retarded as it sounds. But it should be mentioned I was really bored that day and in an obnoxious mood. It didn't work so well for me. But again I do some stupid shit from time to time no surprise there.

[Permalost]

Sorry I was a bit lacking in info lol, I was in a hurry. The character I mimicked was Jan Lee from doa and yes it's as retarded as it sounds. But it should be mentioned I was really bored that day and in an obnoxious mood. It didn't work so well for me. But again I do some stupid shit from time to time no surprise there.

DOA? Does that mean you tried to distract them with your physics-defying titty jiggling?

[Bneterasedmynam]

DOA? Does that mean you tried to distract them with your physics-defying titty jiggling?

Anything physics-defying I have wouldn't look that nice. Sadly my "jiggle mode" is not something anyone wants to see.

[Kin Kong]

I've got quite a few from Judo competition.

This one is kinda long winded but funny. Once upon a time (early '90s?) I went to a shiai in Mississippi. This was a special shiai, because it was part of an outdoor, camp-out in the woods by a lake kind of martial arts camp. Mind you, I didn't go to the camp, just to the shiai to referee and then compete. In any case, I get there, and being Mississippi (southern) in some hot part of the year (always pretty much), I'm very glad I didn't camp out.

So, the shiai venue is set up...you guessed it, outside. Nice level piece of ground, chairs all around, really pretty cool. Until I took off my shoes (as a referee) to inspect the mats for cracks and other dangerous features. There wasn't any shade...so the mats had been in the burning Mississippi sun all morning...I right away jumped off. I felt like I had stepped onto a hot skillet !

So I go to the tournament/camp director and explain. He checks it out, and agrees no way can we have bare footed kids doing judo 1. In the sun and 2. On broiler temp mats.

Next, we look around for some shade. There is a large tree of some sort about 100 yards away. So we get some help and set up the mats in the shade cast by the tree. Problem is, it's not level ground (bumpy) and on a slope !

Well, the show must go on, and despite my warnings of liability blah blah blah, we have our shiai on sloping, bumpy ground on fold out gym mats. Rebel Yell !

Things go well, and it comes my turn to compete. I'm a black belt already, and it's an open weight/rank men's division. I do well, my typical seoi nage and kouchi stuff, plus a couple of arm bars. It's still blazing hot, and I feel more like an imagined samurai grappling on the battlefield than a judoka, but what the hell, right ?

So for first and second place it comes down to me another black belt. He's special, being maybe 5'10 and 250 pounds, with me at 5'7 and 145 lbs. No worries, though, he was slow as a slug. Not unskilled, but not impressive to my young (late 20s) judoka mind.

Match starts, and I throw him for a waza ari with seoi otoshi. We dance/lumber/stagger around a bit, end up in a scramble on the ground. I have the bright idea to do what is now called "recover guard" and of course, I'm confident he'll stick his arm above my waist like most unsophisticated judoka, and I'll armbar him from (what was then not known) as guard. ***

So I maneuver, set him up, here comes the arm, right according to plan. Wait, what's wrong ? I can't move ! What the fuck ? This huge sweating whale is in my guard, which I can't seem to "open", and I cant' really move...

It seems I had rolled into a depression in the hills and dales of the folding mat, caused by the uneven ground (and not a few tree roots) under it. Whale-man gets this evil look on his face, and lays his large gut onto my chest, grabs my arm, and performs the Ude Garami **** from hell on me. It was pure shoulder, no elbow, and in any case I was tapping right away.

So I get a silver medal, a bad sunburn, and a sore shoulder for my 3 hour trip to Bumfuck, MS and my cockiness.




*** I realize you "younger" guys and gals think that there was no such thing as "armbar from guard" in Judo until the Gracies hit the scene and we judoka stole the idea from them, then claimed it for our own. But I assure it did exist and was done. By me at least !

**** Another technique we stole from BJJ/GJJ, LOL !

Love this one! Hard to top that.