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How do monkeydance?

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    How do monkeydance?

    Not an uncommon situation: You're in a public place (bar, restaurant, supermarket, post office), alone, minding your own business, when some sociopath looks at you and says, "What the fuck are you looking at? Your response? Your response if you would rather avoid a fight?

    #2
    Appropriate response #1, your wife's tits.

    Appropriate response #2, hey didn't I see you on most wanted??

    Appropriate response #3, go fuck yourself

    I guess I should mention I'm not that good at avoiding fights.

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by CapnMunchh View Post
      "What the fuck are you looking at? Your response?
      "Nothing much"

      "I'm not sure - I didn't realize there were different grades of asshole."

      Your response if you would rather avoid a fight?
      "I'm very sorry; I thought you were someone else."

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by CapnMunchh View Post
        Not an uncommon situation: You're in a public place (bar, restaurant, supermarket, post office), alone, minding your own business, when some sociopath looks at you and says, "What the fuck are you looking at? Your response? Your response if you would rather avoid a fight?
        King without a crown

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          #5
          "A new sheath I've been considering."

          Comment


            #6
            Did you do time at "enter local jail"?
            But seriously, that never happened to me...try not stare too much lol.
            Or you can say "I was wondering if you have a cigarette"

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by CapnMunchh View Post
              Not an uncommon situation: You're in a public place (bar, restaurant, supermarket, post office), alone, minding your own business, when some sociopath looks at you and says, "What the fuck are you looking at? Your response? Your response if you would rather avoid a fight?
              My response is "I work here, and you've just bought yourself a one-way off the premises."

              What happens next is hardly even enough to be called a fight.

              Comment


                #8
                In a broad Barnsley accent "Thee ya daft cunt, what thar lookin at?"

                To avoid the fight "Tupence just behind you".
                "BJJ!!! Guard can't protect you from collapsing gym roof, tough guy!" - W. Rabbit

                Comment


                  #9
                  Your eyes. So lovely...

                  Comment


                    #10
                    "Please, Sir, I don't want any trouble", followed by a string of "FOOM!" accompanied by lightning fast chain punches.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Possibly a better question would be. Why has this not happen to me since 6th grade? I mean i've been training really hard I've been patient and 20+ years later nothing. This is bullshit.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        I don't say anything. I wink and blow a kiss.
                        I feel like you eye-bawlin' me, dawg!

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                          #13

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                            #14
                            Well, so far it looks like Bullies are oh so witty and creative in their responses, but with a couple of exceptions, less so when trying to de-escalate. I always thought non-violent conflict resolution was a valuable side skill for the MArtist. Kind of like learning how to bounce somebody to make their nuts pop back out of their abdomen after a hard kick.

                            Maybe I've just spent too much time in Aikido class.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by CapnMunchh View Post
                              Well, so far it looks like Bullies are oh so witty and creative in their responses, but with a couple of exceptions, less so when trying to de-escalate. I always thought non-violent conflict resolution was a valuable side skill for the MArtist. Kind of like learning how to bounce somebody to make their nuts pop back out of their abdomen after a hard kick.

                              Maybe I've just spent too much time in Aikido class.
                              Normally, the guy starting shit is so put off by a goofy mfer like me blowing kisses, it de-escalates pretty quickly.
                              I feel like you eye-bawlin' me, dawg!

                              Comment

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