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When to pull the trigger.

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    When to pull the trigger.


    #2
    really the best thing to do is just keep it to yourself, it sucks but that will always be the best thing to do. Unless you your family or someone else is in immediate danger. and if you feel the situation could heighten call the police. I know everything I just said everyone knows and I sure you do as well, good call on the license though and smart move going to your cop buddy.

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      #3
      Originally posted by eloneamigo View Post

      This changed things for me and I was going to fight mode, but then instead; since the guy never actually got out of his car, I thought why progress the situation? I grabbed my phone and took down a partial license before he took off after I said I called the police, and the color, make and model, and stared at the guy to make sure I remembered what he looked like. (Should have taken a picture of him and post it on here) So if I see him again there would be no mistake.
      Good response.

      Adrenaline dump is usual. Engaging an idiot like that would have been a mistake under the circumstances.


      How do you do that, was he on duty?


      That is exactly what ou should have done. Keep your mouth shut.
      I'd say that's a healthy way to work off your feelings.


      Other than mouthing off to the guy you did the right thing. Try not to take things personally. He was a general asshole, parking there had nothing to do with you.

      Fighting assholes like that is a mistake anywhere unless you are defending yourself. Why bother? Just so you can feel better?



      Also this guy could have a good reason for parking there, but his reaction was ridiculous, and in my opinion negates his sob story, if there was one. Either or I just wanted to rant about this in a space where similar guys are.
      That's true, maybe he was waiting for his handicapped grandmother or something. In any case, getting into a fight over where he parked would be silly, IMO. Let's say you got out of your car and beat the crap out of the guy. Cops come, he's beat up, you are fine, guess who may well go to jail for battery? Not him. Plus civil liability. All for what?
      Falling for Judo since 1980

      "You are wrong. Why? Because you move like a pregnant yak and talk like a spazzing 'I train UFC' noob." -DCS

      "The best part of getting you worked up is your backpack full of irony and lies." -It Is Fake

      "Banning BKR is like kicking a Quokka. It's foolishness of the first order." - Raycetpfl

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        #4
        You did the right thing. But there's some monkey dominance-game part of your brain for which walking away from a fight, especially one you could have one won, is always going to feel terrible.

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          #5
          Originally posted by PointyShinyBurn View Post
          You did the right thing. But there's some monkey dominance-game part of your brain for which walking away from a fight, especially one you could have one won, is always going to feel terrible.
          This is where you start second-guessing your decision. It has happened to me numerous times, no matter how I play it out in my mind, I know that I would've won. On the other hand, I feel like I just lost because I didn't follow through.

          I thought I spelled it wrong, but as I said I'm a mechanic not an English professor.

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            #6
            Next time it's a special day for someone in your family unit, blow all the assholes off that day. In fact, brushing off jerks is seldom bad advice.

            I look at it this way, if it had been me, I would have completely lost my cool when he said anything about raping my family. If I kept my mouth shut, jerkface and I would never interact and I would continue to celebrate the child's birthday.

            I hope you have apologized to your girlfriend and her daughter. Not so much for what you did, mind you. More for the situation that ensued afterward.
            Shut the hell up and train.

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              #7
              Not in front of the kids. either you beat him up, or he beats you up. It's a loose loose situation, the "come to my gym and we will fight" is not bad, but if the asshole is vindictive and has ready backup, he now knows were to find you. I did that once to a man on the road after the police was called (took them 30 minutes) and he clearly didn't want to engage me no more, but he did promise to send a few of his big boxing friends to "change my scull with punches" obviously nothing happened later, fucktards like that usually don't have friends that willingly will go and risk themselves for him. (i also personally know the serious few boxers in my town).

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                #8
                [QUOTE=BKR;2703492]Good response.



                Adrenaline dump is usual. Engaging an idiot like that would have been a mistake under the circumstances.




                How do you do that, was he on duty?
                [QUOTE=BKR;2703492]

                My neighbor had the police

                [QUOTE=BKR;2703492]

                My neighbor had incident forms in his truck, so before I forgot the pertinent info I wanted to get everything down. He told me pretty much the same thing, good job for not pounding him, bad job for not shutting up.

                After sleeping on everything, I feel like a complete jackass for opening my mouth, especially on her birthday, there was no point to prove, there was no danger from driving around the idiot, which ultimately puts me into the same category as the idiot running his mouth. Normally I don't even sweat these things because in Hawaii 80% of the people on the road suck at driving anyway, so it shouldn't be a shock or anything, and it's something that shouldn't be taken personally, but rather at this and just laugh it off.

                Also like PointyShinyBurn said some primal portion of my brain went over the situation and was wondering why when he threatened my family and he was half his size why not just destroy him? It was something that I am ultimately glad did not happen, and in the end I feel I made the right choice. The next time I have the option of "keeping it real" I should just forget about it and move on. Life is too short to intentionally waste time on assholes and in the end nothing is solved. Ultimately I am just really disappointed in myself.

                I appreciate all of the responses, I am trying to better myself on a daily basis, but yesterday I failed immensely as a man, but even more importantly to my family, because I am better than that. Anyway take care gentlemen, I'd like to thank everyone for their thoughts on the matter.

                Aloha.
                Last edited by eloneamigo; 7/11/2012 10:45am, .

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by erezb View Post
                  Not in front of the kids. either you beat him up, or he beats you up. It's a loose loose situation, the "come to my gym and we will fight" is not bad, but if the asshole is vindictive and has ready backup, he now knows were to find you. I did that once to a man on the road after the police was called (took them 30 minutes) and he clearly didn't want to engage me no more, but he did promise to send a few of his big boxing friends to "change my scull with punches" obviously nothing happened later, fucktards like that usually don't have friends that willingly will go and risk themselves for him. (i also personally know the serious few boxers in my town).
                  Ahhh hhaaaaa this explains your current run of "WATCH OUT THEY CAN FIND YOU" fear posting of late.

                  Yeah, dumb shit happens. You learned and you'll be better prepared next time.
                  Last edited by It is Fake; 7/11/2012 10:34am, .

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                    #10
                    You ain't from 'round these parts are ya?

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                      #11
                      Originally posted by ChenPengFi View Post
                      You ain't from 'round these parts are ya?
                      I grew up in Bayamon Puerto Rico for part of my childhood and we left because of the increase in drug trafficking and violence, so I am not so easily shocked by much. Internally I feel violent often, and that's something I need to keep in check, as it doesn't serve any viable purpose whatsoever. I am use to being in these situations, because of the friends I have kept in the past, and places I have lived in the past, but my gf is not, she is a very humble person that tries to avoid conflict at all costs.

                      Occurences like this were very common as I was there during the late 80's and early 90's:
                      http://latino.foxnews.com/latino/new...n-puerto-rico/

                      She on the other hand comes from a family that immigrated to Hawaii from Japan almost right after the missionaries' kids took over the islands back in the late 1800's. They were plantation workers in Lanai, then her family saved enough money they moved to the windward side of oahu, so there are never usually issues like this they encounter.

                      The only time she has ever been in a situation like this is because of me, as I can be confrontational sometimes, when I should just let things go, like the instance above. This is something I have to work on, if someone is about to attack that's one thing, but I should never propagate the situation.

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                        #12
                        As you have a family, you might be better served taking a calmer, more rational approach.

                        He was waving you by and thought he was being polite, whether you had room to pass or not.
                        As you said, people are sucky drivers here.
                        It is unreasonable to assume that he would recognize the lack of space then, no?

                        I probably know your wife's family, i have many roots on windward Oahu.
                        It sounds like she's never ventured past Ahuimanu if parking lot spats shock her.
                        That's ok, be glad she wasn't hanging out in Kahaluu.
                        Don't blow it over a parking lot dispute.

                        This is a fun read "The Tattoo" that's set in part in windward Oahu.

                        I'm glad you seem aware of what you need to work on...
                        Last edited by ChenPengFi; 7/11/2012 2:36pm, .

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                          #13
                          Originally posted by ChenPengFi View Post
                          As you have a family, you might be better served taking a calmer, more rational approach.

                          He was waving you by and thought he was being polite, whether you had room to pass or not.
                          As you said, people are sucky drivers here.
                          It is unreasonable to assume that he would recognize the lack of space then, no?

                          I probably know your wife's family, i have many roots on windward Oahu.
                          It sounds like she's never ventured past Ahuimanu if parking lot spats shock her.
                          That's ok, be glad she wasn't hanging out in Kahaluu.
                          Don't blow it over a parking lot dispute.

                          This is a fun read "The Tattoo" that's set in part in windward Oahu.

                          I'm glad you seem aware of what you need to work on...
                          I guess that's what I was asking everyone yesterday, normally I wouldn't hesitate if called out, but it was different yesterday, I held back for my family not myself, as it was my selfish action that caused the situation in the first place. It was weird, almost like an out of body experience.

                          Yes my gf is definitely did not hang out with tittaz in kahaluu, she's never even smoked a cigarette, as her parents were teachers and strict disciplinarians, so she stayed out of trouble. I am coming from the dark side, and have essentially raised myself as a young man as I have little to no living family, but even with my past that's exactly what it is, the past. I might have gotten a shitty hand as a youth, but I make my own luck now, and know the only person that can truly screw things up is me. I am trying my best to become a more humble and respectful person, I have even been trying to meditate at buddhist temple on the Pali as a way to promote a more peaceful center so I can easily avoid stupid confrontations like this in the future.

                          I know nothing good comes from violence and hatred, and usually you are the one that ultimately loses in the end, so I am trying my best to avoid living like this anymore. But just like alcoholism or any other human fallibility, you cannot stand by idly and hope for the best. Which is why I welcomed any criticism on the manner, because I actually give a shit.

                          I tried to read the story, but it's just a pic, is that a pic of some of the guys your train with?
                          Last edited by eloneamigo; 7/11/2012 2:21pm, .

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                            #14
                            Haha, i fixed the link...

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                              #15
                              This is hard, but try to let it go. Some guy was an incomprehensible ass-hole and he riled up your ego. What you feel is a natural reaction. But how you process that can litteraly affect your health and livelyhood.

                              Examine the scenario objectively. He verbally assaulted you. That is all. What does that even mean? The guy was a shit head who will probably get his ass handed to him by someone else who is just as big of a shit head. He did not actually have the stones to confront you or hurt your women. He was all noise. Simply compressed waves in air. Let them pass over your and beyond you. Do not take his bullshit to heart.

                              Remembering him is good. That is simply due diligence. Bottling up the hate till you become like him is bad. That is your ego in control of your actions. Yo become the same as him if you do this. It can mess you up. Screw with your blood preasure, stress levels, relationships. Hate and fear are deadly internal enemies that will rob you blind if you don't have control over them.

                              The first step is to dismiss the anger you feel and stay calm. Meditate on your true reality (family you are responsible too just getting some groceries) and simply disregard the illusion your PERCIEVED enemy tried to blind you with (if we don't fight you aren't a "man"). The truth is it is your "enemy" (and he isn't even realy that...) is the weak one. He's got worse problems than you!

                              Only when the ass-hole tries to manifest his threats in reality is it time to get violent. The ways to handle this are as varied as the individuals answereing the question itself, but the basic "be aware of your areas laws and watch your back" rules apply.

                              Violence is a diabloical wheel of missfortune. The jack pot is not getting hurt or arrested. All the other stops on the wheel are some varrying degree of injury, malfeasance and loss of life or freedom. Only escalate a situation to that level when it is trully called for.

                              Otherwise a simple trip to the store might be the last time you see your GF or her kid without bars inbetween y'all. Backing off in honor of your family is what a real man does. Fighting over words is what insecure scrubs do. You sir, are a man. The asshole, he isn't your enemy. He's just an ass hole. Your true enemy is your ego when faced with the asshole. Just the same, you are not that guys enemy. His true enemy is also the ego, you simply became a target of it. Keep these truths in mind when facing pure static. Especialy when there's no bite with the bark.

                              Be at peace brother. Even when you are at war.
                              Last edited by Mr. Machette; 7/11/2012 2:47pm, .

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