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    #76
    Originally posted by Ulsteryank View Post
    ...
    This whole thing sounds pretty dumb, with the "fight" not even being the worst.

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      #77
      Already Posted in: http://www.bullshido.net/forums/showthread.php?t=122247

      Originally posted by Plasma
      Chapter 8: College Samurai

      For those of you that been around the site for a while, a long while, you will remember this story. You see I decided that I would join an online Martial Arts community. So I tried MAP. I was banned for proposing to the people in the Ninjutsu Forum that they should spar. In fact I think I am still blamed for the Bullshido vs MAP holy war like 9 years ago. Either way, I ended up posting here, I attended several throwdowns that carried there own drama in the form of a walking 80s Kung Fu Stereotype. While it was big drama on the site, it had very little effect on my Martial Arts development so its not worth going into here. However, I had yet to have my own “investigation.” Little did I know I was about to have one fall into my lap.

      You see I had graduated the previous year and still had many friends that I visited every few months. Well one of the people I visited was my old TKD instructor who informed me that there was a new student I had to meet, he does Japanese swordsmanship. We meet and it’s very odd, he seems to know a little bit about swordsmanship but then he will launch into stories such as him studying Iron Body Kung Fu and having his instructor break wooden swords over him. He didn’t break bones because they are “ultra-dense.” Then he would say things that reflected he was not ignorant of Japanese Swordsmanship, but then the conversation would switch and the next thing he will be taking about his instructor dislocating all his joints and making him pop them back in. Honestly, I was a bit confused. At first I chalked it up to a freshman in a new school that was trying to impress. So when he invites me down to his Kenjutsu Club he instructs, I tell him I will come.

      I didn’t think anything of him teaching at the time, the school he claimed his certification from is a legit school. This turns into an interesting experience. As soon as I get there, his students are there waiting and he commands me to grab a bokken (wooden sword). Now, I been introduced to him as a “Ninja”, which is not surprising due to my previous history. Honestly, I played it up a bit, because it was fun. But now, the situation changed. You see, the reason he invited me down was not to train, but to fight in front of his class to show the superiority of his swordsmanship, he was a Samurai. At least that is what he called himself. Now no less we are going to fight, but with wooden weapons. My school spars with Split Bamboo, so sparring with bokken is a little much for me. But, I am young and stupid so I accept the challenge.

      Now at this point, I have maybe a year and true sword training under my belt. So we start and he comes in fast and hard. I parry the downward slash and counter clocking him upside the head. He curses, as that had to sting. Now I not putting much of any force in my strikes as I don’t want to give this poor guy a concussion. He demands we continue. We continue but I limit myself to his thumb and wrist. After another few minutes, he goes and grabs a second bokken. He explains that before he did Japanese Kenjutsu, he did some style of Iron Body Kung Fu that used two Katana. Seriously.......

      So, at this point I went from a night of Kenjutsu training to a Full LaRP battle with wooden weapons. Now I should of left, that would be the smart thing. But I am a “Ninja” in a battle with a Samurai. Ok, even then I wasn’t that dumb, but I was winning and I am having fun in spite of the situation. So I go to my bag instead and grab 3 rubber shaken (Throwing stars). You see most Kenjutsu schools include a section of Shurikenjutsu as a way to detract an opponent. I never sparred with them before though. Now our samurai is posing with his swords, but not coming forward. I use this opportunity to throw one of my shaken, it landed on its target (his eyeline) and I close the distance and pop him on the head again. Its over. He has had enough, but as I am packing up my gear he declares that if that had been real swords, he would of won because he has the the true spirit of the samurai.

      I leave my college with an amusing story of a LaRP battle. However, it does not end there. You see, I hear from my friends at the college, that I disrespected him by denying him a battle with live blades and he now has to kill me with his katana which he named “Demon Slayer.” He apparently carried it on campus until Campus Police made him stop.

      Remember, I said he claimed a legit Kenjutsu school. So I emailed them, asking about him. Turns out he did in fact train a year there and when he went off to college and they gave him permission to run a basics class that has since been revoked. I am not sure what was the reason, I have no idea what relation he had with the dojo, but he blamed me for this misfortunate. At that point the last of friends graduated and I completely lost contact with that situation. Some one linked me his online dating profile years later, maybe he found love?

      Comment


        #78
        I have a fight story to share. About a few years back, I was fighting a guy who ranked in the featherweight amateur scene who was making a name for himself. Well this guy also happened to be an old training partner of mine when I first started out. Real cocky dude. He was mainly a wrestler, and I had evolved as a fighter while he still mainly stayed a wrestler. When we agreed to fight each other, the shit talk that he spewed was just ridiculous. Saying he would "knock me out with ease and that if I went to the ground, he'd put my lights out because my Jiu Jitsu was garbage".

        I used the trash talk as a source of inspiration. Fast forward to the fight. Bell rings and I am just toying with him. Real loose guard up with my hands, and throwing Royce-style kicks to his shin. Those weak kicks prompted him to shoot in. I defend for a bit, and he picks me up and slams me, thinking he's got me beat. I grab his neck, shrimp out and make him tap with a guillotine choke. All but 31 seconds into the first round.

        It was beyond satisfying to say the least.

        Comment


          #79
          So many moons ago eh I am going to say at least 8 years ago or so I was dating this chick, and I was still am one of those guys who doesn't tend to be the jealous sort and she had this friend named Dave who I hated. I hated him for multiple reasons nothing to do with my girlfriend so much but the way he acted etc etc etc.

          It turns out that he and my g/f were having a little affair that I wasn't aware of, and so there were multiple times that I told him f off or I will wreck you *this happened after my dislike for the guy increased and I didn't know about the cheating* so let's fast forward.

          At the time I was working for a major bank and had a ridiculously bad day, that coupled with the fact that I had to walk home *we only had one car at the time and she forgot all about me* I get there and he's sitting on my couch...I tell him leave or I will beat your ass. He responds "do it" Okay, so I come up to him, push him he falls on the couch and I begin to punch him in the face until she comes stops me, and tells him to leave.

          Would you believe that even after that he still came around and it escalated to the point where I had to kick a hole in his car, almost get arrested, and had to defend myself in court to where I had to pay the damages to his car although no charges for whooping his ass?

          I am going to be the first one to admit, I took martial arts to defend myself and because I got caught up in the mysticism of it all... I never wanted to fight and in that situation I was so angry all my training went out the window and I just wanted to harm...

          My only regret? I didn't beat his ass to the point where he didn't want to return...apparently a broken ocular bone wasn't enough...go fig.

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            #80
            Less backstory, moar war story. This thread is about fights, not these bullshit Maury Povitch "Who Da Babydaddy is??" bitchfits.

            Comment


              #81
              Originally posted by itwasntme View Post
              Less backstory, moar war story. This thread is about fights, not these bullshit Maury Povitch "Who Da Babydaddy is??" bitchfits.
              Yeah. Take it to the baby mama drama thread.

              Comment


                #82
                http://www.bullshido.net/forums/showthread.php?t=116457

                I suppose I could've linked em to it. It's certainly more OT there.

                Comment


                  #83
                  When doing kickboxing sparring with females I always "accidentally" punch them to tits with an uppercut instead of jaw

                  Comment


                    #84
                    I hope they respond by "accidentally" kneeing you in the balls instead of the stomach.

                    Comment


                      #85
                      Originally posted by notfromvenus View Post
                      I hope they respond by "accidentally" kneeing you in the balls instead of the stomach.

                      Comment


                        #86
                        I killed Osama Bin Laden.

                        Comment


                          #87
                          Not sure if this qualifies... but one from the archives.

                          So, about 40 years ago, I was sparring with the brother of one of my friends. A little backyard(actually it was in the front of the house) match. He had two years of Judo, and I'd watched a lot of Johnny Quest and read most of Bruce Tegner's books. He weighed probably 180 lbs, and I weighed 130 lbs. So... evenly matched. Right?

                          I reach out towards his biceps, and slaps my arms away. I'm thinking like, uh oh, 'cuz it was like being slapped by a gorilla.

                          Second attempt and he tries a double arm-bar that hyper extends my elbows a bit... but I get free. Now I know I'm in trouble, and that I haven't read enough books.

                          Now, we'll call him David. Ole Dave wasn't the sharpest crayon in the crayon box, and he was rather clumsy. Look up the word lumox in the dictionary and they probably have his picture there. Twice. But he was heavy, thickly built, and very strong. Think, a young Kingpin.

                          So I back off and Dave does a football-style tackle. Rush forward fast enough, and your opponent goes down, because he can move forward faster than you can back-pedal.

                          I mean, two years of judo, and you do the football tackle/rush?

                          I wrapped my arms around his waist, fall backwards, twist to the side a bit, and do a Tawara/Taware Gaeshi throw(a rice baie throw) on him.

                          We get up, circle each other and, again he rushes forward and does a football-style tackle on me. And again, I throw him with a rice bale throw.

                          We get up and circle each other again. Now I notice that he's maneuvered me so that my back is to the sidewalk, and I'm just a couple of feet away from it.

                          I guess 'Ole Dave is not as dumb as I thought. His plan is to tackle me onto the sidewalk, with his 180 lbs of bulk landing on top of me.

                          So, if at first you don't succeed..TWICE... I guess third times a charm and all... I mean it's gotta work.

                          AGAIN, he goes for the football-tackle/rush technique...two years of Judo Training can't be wrong.

                          I twist to the side as much as I can, because I don't want to throw him on the side-walk, but his ankle hits the concrete, and that's the end of Dave. Match over. I win.

                          Comment


                            #88
                            Originally posted by Muerteds View Post
                            went down like your mum for crack
                            That's a Biggie Smalls level analogy

                            Comment


                              #89
                              Originally posted by Speaks Softly View Post
                              Not sure if this qualifies... but one from the archives.

                              So, about 40 years ago, I was sparring with the brother of one of my friends. A little backyard(actually it was in the front of the house) match. He had two years of Judo, and I'd watched a lot of Johnny Quest and read most of Bruce Tegner's books. He weighed probably 180 lbs, and I weighed 130 lbs. So... evenly matched. Right?

                              I reach out towards his biceps, and slaps my arms away. I'm thinking like, uh oh, 'cuz it was like being slapped by a gorilla.

                              Second attempt and he tries a double arm-bar that hyper extends my elbows a bit... but I get free. Now I know I'm in trouble, and that I haven't read enough books.

                              Now, we'll call him David. Ole Dave wasn't the sharpest crayon in the crayon box, and he was rather clumsy. Look up the word lumox in the dictionary and they probably have his picture there. Twice. But he was heavy, thickly built, and very strong. Think, a young Kingpin.

                              So I back off and Dave does a football-style tackle. Rush forward fast enough, and your opponent goes down, because he can move forward faster than you can back-pedal.

                              I mean, two years of judo, and you do the football tackle/rush?

                              I wrapped my arms around his waist, fall backwards, twist to the side a bit, and do a Tawara/Taware Gaeshi throw(a rice baie throw) on him.

                              We get up, circle each other and, again he rushes forward and does a football-style tackle on me. And again, I throw him with a rice bale throw.

                              We get up and circle each other again. Now I notice that he's maneuvered me so that my back is to the sidewalk, and I'm just a couple of feet away from it.

                              I guess 'Ole Dave is not as dumb as I thought. His plan is to tackle me onto the sidewalk, with his 180 lbs of bulk landing on top of me.

                              So, if at first you don't succeed..TWICE... I guess third times a charm and all... I mean it's gotta work.

                              AGAIN, he goes for the football-tackle/rush technique...two years of Judo Training can't be wrong.

                              I twist to the side as much as I can, because I don't want to throw him on the side-walk, but his ankle hits the concrete, and that's the end of Dave. Match over. I win.
                              Well, its at least 5% street so that has to count for something.

                              Comment


                                #90
                                When I was 16 I fought another boy after a party outside the village hall and I was too drunk to do anything but windmill with one arm so just did that until he ran away.

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