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Kung fu Hustler

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    Kung fu Hustler

    So for the last 4 weeks I have been training REALLY hard for a kickboxing fight. Come the day of, Omega drove up 4 hours to come meet and coach me just for the day. First off, how many of your coaches have done that? I bet none. Why? Because they are not nearly as awesome. Also because your coach probably hates that you're such a wimpy queer.

    Anyway, I get there, and it's a pretty low key tournament. They have a BJJ tournament and a Karate tournament as well as the kickboxing thing going on. I'm like, cool. So after a few hours of sitting around, Omega guilts me into doing the BJJ tournament in the adult division and so I compete against a purple belt who is way better than me and another dude from our gym who is just bigger than me. I figured, "I'm going to throw the purple belt and then he's going to armbar me." and that is exactly what happens. then I win on points against the Dane from valhalla.

    After a bit longer, I start getting antsy, thinking that there is going to be nobody here to fight me. They tell me that there are, but I see nobody. I see nothing but dudes in gi and nothing else. So, I finally start asking around and it turns out that yes, there isn't anybody willing to fight me. So I go around asking a bunch of karate black belts if they'll fight me in a kickboxing match. None. Not a single one.

    One black belt I ask says, "Oh um... I.. can't... because.. I'm doing.. another part of the tournament."

    So I resign myself to winning via intimidation. And as bonerrific as that is, it doesn't help me with anything. As I'm on my way out of just checking out and coming to terms with that I am just way too scary with my cute little asian face, they ask me if I would please fight in the karate tournament.

    With no hope left of actually beating anybody up, I agree... I also get Omega to fight in the karate tournament. I'll post up the videos later, but seriously, we were sweeping the competition. That is, until they totally screw Omega out of his matches. The judges were all buddies with every black belt in the black belt division and cheated my coach out of his victory. Literally awarded the other guy points for when Omega hits him.

    With his loss, I knew what I had to do. I had to avenge my kung fu master. Since I won the lightweight division, I was up for the open grand prix... against the guy who beat Omega. And I did what anybody would do in my situation. I took a knee and drew a line in the ground and challenged him to cross it. And cross it he did, only to meet the flurry of my fists and shins. It was all over. I had won. Fair and square. Also with a superman punch. I played their game and beat them.

    What a hilarious day. Videos incoming.

    #2
    Round 1:

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      #3
      you trained to fight at that? theres like 5 people in the stand. i guess the reason they had the weigh ins on the day was because its run by some clueless backyard promoter?

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        #4
        Originally posted by Alex View Post
        you trained to fight at that? theres like 5 people in the stand. i guess the reason they had the weigh ins on the day was because its run by some clueless backyard promoter?
        No, this was literally at the very end. There were probably something like 300 people there in the stands alone. This was around 5:45pm and people had been there since 9am. They were not sticking around. Everyone moved to the side where the camera was since this was all that was left.

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          #5
          Omega vs. Some dude:

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            #6
            Omega vs Kung Fu Panda? That's the first thing that came to my mind.
            Falling for Judo since 1980

            "You are wrong. Why? Because you move like a pregnant yak and talk like a spazzing 'I train UFC' noob." -DCS

            "The best part of getting you worked up is your backpack full of irony and lies." -It Is Fake

            "Banning BKR is like kicking a Quokka. It's foolishness of the first order." - Raycetpfl

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              #7
              I'll post the other videos up later. I'm going to bed, goodnight fuckers.

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                #8
                Originally posted by Sirc View Post
                Omega vs. Some dude:

                LOL video proof that the score keepers sucked. BTW where was the groin shot?

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                  #9
                  LOL....you forgot to share everybody's face trying to explain to me how to fight because I was wearing a jiu jitsu gi.

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                    #10
                    This is Omega vs. the guy who got cheated into a win:



                    In the split, the guy stabs Omega in the eye, but still gets the point. The ref says, "We'll judge for point and then for excessive contact."

                    They judge for the point and not for the contact until the opponent says something about it.

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                      #11
                      And this is my vengeance round.

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                        #12
                        Originally posted by Omega Supreme View Post
                        LOL....you forgot to share everybody's face trying to explain to me how to fight because I was wearing a jiu jitsu gi.
                        Yeah, I was about to ask "Aren't you an MMA/BJJ guy?"

                        What was the experience like? I mean we all saw it but I've never competed at a karate tournament.

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                          #13
                          Originally posted by Sirc View Post
                          This is Omega vs. the guy who got cheated into a win:



                          In the split, the guy stabs Omega in the eye, but still gets the point. The ref says, "We'll judge for point and then for excessive contact."

                          They judge for the point and not for the contact until the opponent says something about it.
                          God, watching that video pisses me off. Shit happens I had fun.

                          Hey Bruiser, I love doing martial arts. Unlike others who've confined themselves to saying this and that about various martial arts I've actually gone out and competed in most styles to give me a good perspective on things. The only style of tournament that has ever left me with huge bad tastes are BJJ, SAMBO, and TKD.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by Bruiser View Post
                            Yeah, I was about to ask "Aren't you an MMA/BJJ guy?"

                            What was the experience like? I mean we all saw it but I've never competed at a karate tournament.
                            It's fun as hell. Seriously, if you want to learn about having an explosive and evasive footwork, do karate tournaments. It's not going to teach you how to take a hit or throw effective kickboxing combos, but you will learn to move your fat ass.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by Omega Supreme View Post
                              God, watching that video pisses me off. Shit happens I had fun.

                              Hey Bruiser, I love doing martial arts. Unlike others who've confined themselves to saying this and that about various martial arts I've actually gone out and competed in most styles to give me a good perspective on things. The only style of tournament that has ever left me with huge bad tastes are BJJ, SAMBO, and TKD.
                              You know, I've had more bullshit decisions in my BJJ matches than any of my contact or non-contact fighting days.

                              BTW, nice write up Sirc :)

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