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    Wrestling with an overbearing father.

    So, I'm a junior in high school and a wrestler. I really don't want to wrestle anymore, though. I just really don't have the desire to compete in wrestling, honestly. I plan on popping in and watching practice from time to time or drilling with the guys who don't have a partner or something, but the way I'm looking at it, I have one year of high school left. I need to get a job, get a car, and apply for college, and I just want to have fun before real life comes and kicks me in the butt. It's not like I'd get fat. I imagine I'll do Judo or BJJ or something, where the grind isn't so soul crushing.

    I ran it by my Dad, though, who I don't live with by the way, and he's not exactly thrilled. He says I'm developing a life pattern or something, which, I don't get what he's talking about.

    This thread isn't about "OMG should I quit or not?". I've pretty much already decided. Go ahead and insult me and call me a quitter and what not. What I really want advice on is how to deal with my Dad. If this thread is moved, whatever, I imagine it's in the wrong forum anyway. My bad. But for those of you with overbearing father figures, how do you deal with them?

    #2
    wait, youre asking a bunch of internet nerds on a fighting forum how to talk to your dad? why the fuck are you asking this on this forum at all, let alone in the technique forum?

    Comment


      #3
      The correct way for a wrestler to deal with their dad is to take their dad down and pin his shoulders to the mat.
      Calm down, it's only ones and zeros.
      "Your calm and professional manner of response is really draining all the fun out of this. Can you reply more like Dr. Fagbot or something? Call me some names, mention some sand in my vagina or something of the sort. You can't expect me to come up with reasonable arguments man!" -- MaverickZ

      "Tom Kagan spins in his grave and the fucking guy isn't even dead yet." -- Snake Plissken

      My Bullshido fan club threads:
      Tom Kagan's a big hairy...
      Tom Kagan can lick my BALLS
      Tom Kagan teaches _ing __un and bigotry?
      Tom Kagan: Serious discussion here
      Lamokio asks the burning question is Tom Kagan a pussy or just cruising for some
      I'm Dave the gay Kickboxer from Manchester and I have the hots for Tom Kagan
      TOM KAGAN, OPEN ME, THE MKT ARE COMING FOR YOU ! ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH TO MEET ?
      ATTN TOM KAGAN
      World Dominator 'Kagan' in plot to lie about real Kung Fu and Martial Arts
      Tom Kagan just gave me my third negative rep in a day
      I am infatuated with Tom Kagan
      Tom Kagan is a fat balding white guy.

      Comment


        #4
        wait, youre asking a bunch of internet nerds on a fighting forum how to talk to your dad? why the fuck are you asking this on this forum at all, let alone in the technique forum?
        I really didn't know where to post this...

        EDIT: That's a better title, actually.
        Last edited by td82394; 1/14/2012 7:43pm, .

        Comment


          #5
          What your dad is concerned about is that you are quitting wrestling because it is difficult and requires effort. Obviously anyone who develops a "pattern" of quitting things anytime the became difficult, inconvienient or boring will not go very far in life. Most worthwhile endeavors require effort and persistance, exactly the qualities that high school sports are designed to develop. From the tenor of your post you sound less like a quitter than someone who is having a change of priorities. Frame the discussion with your dad in that manner. "Dad, I realize your concerns about me leaving the wrestling program. I want to assure you that the reason I want to leave is because I have thought very hard about my priorities over the next two years. I feel I have to begin working and making money so I can shoulder my share of the exspenses I'm going to incur while I am at college. I know it might not be the decision you want me to make but I'd really feel better if I had your support." You are going to be making the transition from a young man to a man over the next few years. Do yuour best to start talking to your dad like you are one now. Good luck.



          All that being said most of the guys here who didn't wrestle in HS would flip the script in a second if they had to do it all over again (myself included). You have the rest of your life to work crummy jobs, only four years to train an effective MA for free.

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by Camistletoe View Post
            All that being said most of the guys here who didn't wrestle in HS would flip the script in a second if they had to do it all over again (myself included).
            Amen.

            Comment


              #7
              What your dad is concerned about is that you are quitting wrestling because it is difficult and requires effort. Obviously anyone who develops a "pattern" of quitting things anytime the became difficult, inconvienient or boring will not go very far in life. Most worthwhile endeavors require effort and persistance, exactly the qualities that high school sports are designed to develop. From the tenor of your post you sound less like a quitter than someone who is having a change of priorities. Frame the discussion with your dad in that manner. "Dad, I realize your concerns about me leaving the wrestling program. I want to assure you that the reason I want to leave is because I have thought very hard about my priorities over the next two years. I feel I have to begin working and making money so I can shoulder my share of the exspenses I'm going to incur while I am at college. I know it might not be the decision you want me to make but I'd really feel better if I had your support." You are going to be making the transition from a young man to a man over the next few years. Do yuour best to start talking to your dad like you are one now. Good luck.



              All that being said most of the guys here who didn't wrestle in HS would flip the script in a second if they had to do it all over again (myself included). You have the rest of your life to work crummy jobs, only four years to train an effective MA for free.
              Thanks, man, I'll need it.

              Comment


                #8
                Just explain to your dad that with your lack of ambition and desire to accomplish nothing in your senior year of high school, it wouldn't be right to drag down the rest of the team. Tell him that maybe sometime in the future you could develop some ambition or something if you feel like it but until then you will just continue to not give a shit. Then ask him to buy you a play station and some Mountain Dew while you wait in the basement.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Just explain to your dad that with your lack of ambition and desire to accomplish nothing in your senior year of high school, it wouldn't be right to drag down the rest of the team. Tell him that maybe sometime in the future you could develop some ambition or something if you feel like it but until then you will just continue to not give a shit. Then ask him to buy you a play station and some Mountain Dew while you wait in the basement.
                  I figured I'd get this response eventually. Ambition to do what?

                  Comment


                    #10
                    This problem sounds equates loosely to some of my high school experiences. In high school my parents had gone through a recent costly divorce (when I was in middle school) neither of them had any money to begin with. In 8th grade I started bass guitar lessons it was a bit of stress on my mom who paid for it. I stuck with it until high school just as I started to become fluent at reading music.

                    At 15 I decided I needed to find a job to purchase a car and buy the clothes I wanted to wear. Until that point I was forced to wear hand me downs from older kids at the church (I was the oldest in my family). I quit playing the bass, got a job shortly after turning 16 and have hardly stopped working since. I considered high school sports but realized I'd need transportation to and from school which was quite far from home and my mom worked late (my dad wasn't an option), not to mention I needed money my parents couldn't and/or wouldn't give for a car and other teenage needs. Sorry for the sob story. I also, had a keen interst in martial arts but thank god my religious mom thought MA would turn me into a dangerous monster. I could have ended up a TKD black belt or worse a chunner.

                    Why are you really quiting wrestling? Do you have to work to get a car/phone/clothes/ect. or are your parents able to help with this? If your Dad can afford to buy you a car, pay for gas,pay for insurance, and give you a little spending money. Maybe you should let him know how important these things are to you. If your only options are continue wrestling while he pays for all the crap you want/need vs you quitting to get a job let him know. If I could have wrestled while having parents willing to pay for a car, insurance, gas, and the occasional burger or night out I would have gladly not worked throughout high school.

                    Before quitting consider why you are leaving. If it's something you no longer care to do fine just say it and don't lie to yourself. If you really must get a job explain this to your father and perhaps he will be a little more understanding.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by St. Sleaze View Post
                      This problem sounds equates loosely to some of my high school experiences. In high school my parents had gone through a recent costly divorce (when I was in middle school) neither of them had any money to begin with. In 8th grade I started bass guitar lessons it was a bit of stress on my mom who paid for it. I stuck with it until high school just as I started to become fluent at reading music.

                      At 15 I decided I needed to find a job to purchase a car and buy the clothes I wanted to wear. Until that point I was forced to wear hand me downs from older kids at the church (I was the oldest in my family). I quit playing the bass, got a job shortly after turning 16 and have hardly stopped working since. I considered high school sports but realized I'd need transportation to and from school which was quite far from home and my mom worked late (my dad wasn't an option), not to mention I needed money my parents couldn't and/or wouldn't give for a car and other teenage needs. Sorry for the sob story. I also, had a keen interst in martial arts but thank god my religious mom thought MA would turn me into a dangerous monster. I could have ended up a TKD black belt or worse a chunner.

                      Why are you really quiting wrestling? Do you have to work to get a car/phone/clothes/ect. or are your parents able to help with this? If your Dad can afford to buy you a car, pay for gas,pay for insurance, and give you a little spending money. Maybe you should let him know how important these things are to you. If your only options are continue wrestling while he pays for all the crap you want/need vs you quitting to get a job let him know. If I could have wrestled while having parents willing to pay for a car, insurance, gas, and the occasional burger or night out I would have gladly not worked throughout high school.

                      Before quitting consider why you are leaving. If it's something you no longer care to do fine just say it and don't lie to yourself. If you really must get a job explain this to your father and perhaps he will be a little more understanding.
                      I'd argue that getting used to work-life and starting to get a feel of earning your own money is a more valuable experience than wrestling in high school. However, that's just my point of view as someone who wanted to be independent from his parents very early.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Before quitting consider why you are leaving. If it's something you no longer care to do fine just say it and don't lie to yourself. If you really must get a job explain this to your father and perhaps he will be a little more understanding.
                        I said as much in the OP, didn't I? I no longer care to compete in wrestling. I'll probably still pop in every now and then to help out if I can, but other than that, I really don't want to wrestle anymore. I just want to have fun my senior year. That doesn't mean I won't pick up some other martial art if I can, but I can't have fun without a car and some spending money. If I have money, after a while, I can start going to the more expensive gyms. And I won't exactly get into the details of my sob story, but let me just say that I have a VERY good reason for not living with my Dad.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by td82394 View Post
                          And I won't exactly get into the details of my sob story, but let me just say that I have a VERY good reason for not living with my Dad.
                          Which leaves me to assume that your father is mean and/or abusive in addition to being overbearing. It sounds like you know what you want to do, so why would you give weight to advice from a bad person? I understand that you may want to maintain a relationship with him, but if he doesn't have custody you do not need his permission or owe him an explanation for what you choose.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            No, he's not abusive. Just not very trustworthy at this point in his life. Again, really would like to not go into it, but thank you.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Gentlemen, I have moved this to Newbietown. I am going on record that I will be monitoring this. "td" you seem to be very atypical person for your age. If you are as old as you say you are you will not understand but tread lightly. I will not be giving you any advice on your matter except to say good luck.

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