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The ballad of Steven Seagal thread

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    Cletus is ex spook,
    FBI, DEA and
    peaceful herbalist.

    His lethal skills were
    imparted to him by an
    aging sushi chef.
    '�I am no advocate of passivity,� Coffin Mott said in an 1860 speech. �Quakerism, as I understand it, does not mean quietism. The early Friends were agitators; disturbers of the peace; and were more obnoxious in their day to charges, which are now so freely made, than we are.�'

    My Glossary:


      Originally posted by Sorekara View Post
      Seagal musterd chi
      Lebell put on his jime
      Seagal only peed
      Urine is not all
      Uncle Gene squeeze Big Poppa
      Until poop comes out

      Van Damme is angry
      Demand that Seagal show hands
      Fat man run away


        Cletus is a cop
        When he runs his belly flop
        But the crook just walk


          Marries teacher's girl
          Makes rank quickly to be sure
          Comes back home for cash
          Carter Hargrave's Jeet Can't Do


            Originally posted by hungryjoe View Post
            Marries teacher's girl
            Makes rank quickly to be sure
            Comes back home for cash
            Gangsters of Japan
            Never come for sensei's blood
            He once beat up drunks


              That machine gun ax
              does look really freaking cool
              is that one of his?


                Originally posted by Sorekara View Post
                That machine gun ax
                does look really freaking cool
                is that one of his?
                Turn swords to ploughshares?
                Bad idea. You will plough
                For those who did not.


                  Seagal is Cletus?
                  Makes thread confusing for Beak.
                  Y U NO tell Beak.

                  Cletus say "Who Mama?"
                  Tomorrow he Nihon-jin
                  But always a douche.

                  You stupid haters.
                  For haters I have two words.
                  Anderson Silva.
                  Last edited by The_Beak; 8/21/2011 8:00pm, .


                    Glimmer man sucked dick.
                    On deadly ground sucked as well.
                    Aikidos revenge.

                    Fucks your eyes from screen
                    For laughing at "artform"
                    Akidos last laugh.

                    You watching fat fuck.
                    Pony tail, leather jacket
                    No style can't act fool.

                    Aikido fucks you.
                    Steven segall is it's tool.
                    Lebell saved us naught.

                    A single choke held.
                    A favor to all people.
                    Judo failed, sadness.

                    A new champion.
                    Zombie helio save us.
                    To death, choke segall.

                    B J J for win
                    Judo bows it's weary head.
                    Sambo envious.


                      Seagal's aikido
                      Soft small circle so stupid
                      Defend against zilch.

                      (alliteration up in this bitch)
                      GET A RED BELT OR DIE TRYIN'.
                      Originally posted by Devil
                      I think Battlefields and I had a spirited discussion once about who was the biggest narcissist. We both wanted the title but at the end of the day I had to concede defeat. Can't win 'em all.
                      Originally posted by BackFistMonkey
                      I <3 Battlefields...


                        Tight close up on mass
                        of mysterious nature.
                        'Loving You' sets mood.

                        Cam pulls back, reveals
                        greasy mouth, pulls back further:
                        it's the money shot.

                        Cletus masticates,
                        making love to ham sandwich
                        "I love you long time".

                        The sandwich submits.
                        Ham groped by the hamfisted,
                        by pudgy fingers.

                        Skilled in the Art of
                        Buffet Table Randori,
                        Cletus suffers not long queues.


                          White American
                          Runs own dojo in Japan
                          Irony abounds

                          Pretends to live pure
                          But cannot get the lifestyle
                          Samurai he's not

                          Too fat to eat rice
                          Fried chicken isn't sushi
                          You're doing it wrong
                          Click To Get My Free Training Newsletter... Do It NOW!

                          "You all just got fucking owned.";
                          "TaeBo_Master and GajusCaesar just scored 10,000,000 points on all you pawns."

                          - The Wastrel


                            Wobblebottom Steve
                            Aquired blues not from records
                            Learned from the front porch

                            Fullerton, Cali
                            The real deep south, for blackness
                            Lancing near Detroit

                            "This mutha aint white"
                            Says Little Milton in head
                            So thinks fat Steven

                            Lightnin' Hopkins thing
                            Reitteration again
                            Of his real blackness

                            Or Italian
                            Or Japanese for the day
                            Father in law ran dojo

                            I can has black belt?
                            Teach at school? now the white deadly?
                            Stunt double to stand?

                            five years old on porch
                            learning blues from the legends
                            facepalm facepalm face

                            Facepalm face rub eyes
                            Try to clear brain images
                            Judo Gene poop hold


                              Portly sensei sprays
                              canned hair onto widow's peak;
                              cheaper than hair plugs.

                              He can has Buddha:
                              Buddha belly, blubber bum
                              has fries with that shake.


                                his wideness eats all
                                what a tubby git

                                Man claims CIA d3adly
                                In fact, bollocks are made up.



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