Dear Judo,
Fuck you. I only took you out because your hotter Brazillian roomate wasn't available. I was willing to go along with your annoying interest in tachi waza, as long as you got on your back a couple of times a week; I was willing to indulge your your ridiculous obsession with tumbling, gymnastics and Yoga positions if that's what it took to get you rolling around on the ground with me. After all, I'm still trying to forget how my last date ended in premature ejaculation before I even got to hit it once. Really, I was going to pretend to be interested as long as you were going to put out.
Again: fuck you.
First you insist on spending all our time in the sack bunched up in doggie-style position, making me practice arcane ways of turning you over, when you know full well it's only because I am a nice guy that I don't elbow you in the back of the head, and fuck you in the ass. Then you promise me that we can do it for real, but only on Thursdays, and only for 6 weeks. FINE. fine.
So here it is, Thursday, everybody's paired off and ready to get hot and sweaty, I'm going over in my mind what I'm going to do to you, and how you're going to like it. I've even got a few new moves I learned from the Brazillian girl down the hall I want to try out on you, when you DROP THE BOMB: you're not putting out until I prove that I really, trully, totally love your stupid Ukemi shit by practicing breakfalls for 2 solid hours. While everyone else get's laid.
Fuck you, you fucking little tease. I've got news for you, bitch, ne waza is not an "advanced technique". Don't think you made me feel better by "teaching me" Kesa Gatame. Kesa Gatame is not putting out; Kesa Gatame is 1st fucking base, and I haven't got excited about getting to first base since junior high.
Here's the deal honey, either get on your back like a good girl and start rolling around with me, or I am saving up my pennies until I can afford that hot pro from Amazonia I saw advertizing on Craig's List.
Cunt.
Fuck you. I only took you out because your hotter Brazillian roomate wasn't available. I was willing to go along with your annoying interest in tachi waza, as long as you got on your back a couple of times a week; I was willing to indulge your your ridiculous obsession with tumbling, gymnastics and Yoga positions if that's what it took to get you rolling around on the ground with me. After all, I'm still trying to forget how my last date ended in premature ejaculation before I even got to hit it once. Really, I was going to pretend to be interested as long as you were going to put out.
Again: fuck you.
First you insist on spending all our time in the sack bunched up in doggie-style position, making me practice arcane ways of turning you over, when you know full well it's only because I am a nice guy that I don't elbow you in the back of the head, and fuck you in the ass. Then you promise me that we can do it for real, but only on Thursdays, and only for 6 weeks. FINE. fine.
So here it is, Thursday, everybody's paired off and ready to get hot and sweaty, I'm going over in my mind what I'm going to do to you, and how you're going to like it. I've even got a few new moves I learned from the Brazillian girl down the hall I want to try out on you, when you DROP THE BOMB: you're not putting out until I prove that I really, trully, totally love your stupid Ukemi shit by practicing breakfalls for 2 solid hours. While everyone else get's laid.
Fuck you, you fucking little tease. I've got news for you, bitch, ne waza is not an "advanced technique". Don't think you made me feel better by "teaching me" Kesa Gatame. Kesa Gatame is not putting out; Kesa Gatame is 1st fucking base, and I haven't got excited about getting to first base since junior high.
Here's the deal honey, either get on your back like a good girl and start rolling around with me, or I am saving up my pennies until I can afford that hot pro from Amazonia I saw advertizing on Craig's List.
Cunt.
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