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How should I deal with a fat neckbeard?

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    #16
    Growing up, I had this friend who was really charismatic. He was 5 years older than me. After I moved away to college, he started a cult about sex vampires and grey aliens and possession. Last time I saw him he had an entourage of like 10 people hanging off his every word. I said, "you are insane and what you are doing is insane. Good day to you, sir" and I cut him out of my life. It actually works pretty well. "No, you are fucking crazy and are going to get people hurt. I don't want to get splattered by the ensuing shitstorm." You can tell your friend that it's retarded and incorrect on the way out, advise him to go to a real school with a good reputation, warn him that he's going to get hurt and this guy has him suckered, but the best thing for you to do is to realize that you are the only one you can make decisions for, ultimately. And go join a real school or gym or dojo or whatever if you haven't already.

    Don't keep company with someone like like that former friend of mine, who ballooned up, stopped being able to impress anyone, and still thinks that MySpace is cool. Oh and believes that he is a sex vampire allied with little grey aliens with giant black eyes who have implanted a chip in the heads of everyone he is involved with that is set to explode if his secrets are revealed.

    *edit* HOLY SHIT my head didn't blow up, I'M FINALLY FREE!

    *edit 2* I'm a fattie but Kyokushin is slowly fixing that. A good Kyokushin dojo would fix all of these problem and paint that Dan guy's little red wagon nice and quick if he decided to try to roll it over them.

    Head still has not exploded.
    Last edited by Evergrey; 4/03/2011 8:03pm, .

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      #17
      My fake advice for this fake question is to have your fake friends dual to the death. If they are really fat, a foot race and subsequent heart attack should suffice.

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        #18
        Originally posted by STB'A View Post
        your overweight buddy and his overweight friend are learning crap off of youtube and you want to know what to do about it?

        train at a judo club for a month or two. eventually, they will say you're learning crap. bring them to the judo club and watch everybody chuck them on their backs.

        either they learn their lesson, or they continue to be dumbasses. either way, you prove your point.

        other than that, let them keep on playing krotty with each other.
        I saw the title of this thread and was all ready to make a White Kimbo joke and you post in the thread and fuck that shit up.

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          #19
          Originally posted by Evergrey View Post
          Growing up, I had this friend who was really charismatic...........................and still thinks that MySpace is cool.
          oh how the mighty have fallen eh?
          sigpic

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            #20
            Originally posted by Snake Plissken View Post
            I saw the title of this thread and was all ready to make a White Kimbo joke and you post in the thread and fuck that shit up.
            fucking shit up is what i do. besides, i don't have a neckbeard. just a regular awesome beard.

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              #21
              Originally posted by Lindz View Post
              Kungfu mag and?...
              MAP. One of their trolls just posted in this thread.

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                #22
                Originally posted by The Deliverator View Post
                I personally think it would an excellent idea for you to spar with the guy, and have your friend shoot some cell phone video of the session. Then upload the vid to Youtube and link it back to this thread. No doubt you will get some A-mazing feedback from the people on this board from the sparring video. And I promise no one will laugh at you - the people on this board are extremely professional and gentlemanly at all times.
                oh my goodness, super lol

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                  #23
                  + =
                  video game reviews

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                    #24
                    Use that same razor to John Doe that pudgy fucker and take your pound of flesh

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                      #25
                      his beard is sparse and curly like an old lady's pubic hair.

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                        #26
                        I went round to some fat guy's house to learn some moves.

                        My arse hurt so bad after. I tell you one thing - I'm not drinking rum again.!
                        sigpic

                        When life gives you lemons... BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!

                        "what's the best thing about aikido then?"
                        "To be defeated by your enemies, to be driven by them from the field of battle, and to hear the lamentations of your women." ermghoti

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                          #27
                          Originally posted by Colin View Post
                          Colin's excellent post
                          I was going to post the exact same thing without the benefit of visual aids (eyes can have AIDS? The horror!), but you did me one better.

                          *rubs hands together feverishly and cackles like an old lady's pubes*

                          "I'll get you Colin, my pretty. I'll get you!"
                          Shut the hell up and train.

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                            #28
                            I don't know if a neckbeard has the required coordination to use a straight razor without killing themselves.
                            "That was the only way you could destroy me. Neither do I quail at death nor act in deference to any god. So drop your talk, I come resolved to die. But first, there are these gifts I bring for you." At once he hurled a javelin at his enemy, then sent another and another still straight to the mark. - Virgil's The Aeneid

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                              #29
                              Try a little tenderness.

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                                #30
                                Originally posted by Kickapoo View Post
                                I don't know if a neckbeard has the required coordination to use a straight razor without killing themselves.
                                Isn't that the point?

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