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Vietnam veteran claim, not MABS worthy, just want opinions

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  • tao.jonez
    replied
    Is contact outside meetings with other attendees frowned upon? Can you ask him (outside the meeting) to be more honest in his sharing?

    In the meeting, maybe grab him and say "We share some interests, and I'd like to talk with you about your stories after the meeting tonight".

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  • judoka_uk
    replied
    Because of this thread I'm now getting this advert



    Bioresonance and lasers! Who knew quitting drinking could involve lasers.

    Leave a comment:


  • Grey Owl
    replied
    Sounds like a nightmare. However I kind of feel sorry for king bullshit as well. He must think so little of himself to create such outrageous fantasies just to make his life bareable.

    I don't claim to know anything about your situation but perhaps it would help talking to whoever facilitates the meetings saying you have concerns for this man. Rather than saying he is a lying twat perhaps suggest that you are genuinely worried about him and you feel he he needs help beyond the scope of the meetings. You could raise the issue of the effect his behaviour is having on the group dynamic in this way without looking as if you have a personal grudge.

    Hope you resolve this as it would be a shame to lose the comraderie you have developed in your meetings. Good luck, mate.

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  • Sri Hanuman
    replied
    First and foremost major props for not losing your temper, especially considering to what extent his ramblings seem to have affected you. If I understood correctly, he at one point mentioned you in a derogatory manner? Mind you, this guy probably needs as much help as anyone else, but if he can't follow the rules like everyone else, he needs to be told to adjust his behavior by whoever is running the program.

    Isn't there supposed to be a group leader or a councelor leading these sessions? Frankly I'm a little surprised that he has not taken action.

    Hope this won't put a damper on your progress. Good luck man, keep on doing what you're doing.

    Leave a comment:


  • jnp
    replied
    BF, the question to ask yourself is why are you reacting to this man, who is almost certainly a pathological liar, like this? I don't mean the surface reason, "I feel he made false statements about matters that concern me personally.", I mean what are BF's personal reasons for becoming emotionally invested in this guy's bullshit?

    My best advice is to let it go. Don't let this guy's problems waste any of your time, mentally or physically. However, bearing in mind that you will probably not be satisfied with that recommendation, try talking to one or two of your seniors in the group about this guy. Ask them what their impression is before you tell them yours.

    I think you will be surprised how many of them see through this guy.

    Comedy suggestion, next time after Mr. Douchebag finishes up one of his stories politely inform him that Liars Anonymous is down the hall and two doors to the right.

    Leave a comment:


  • judoka_uk
    replied
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Militar...he_Vietnam_War

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  • Larus marinus
    replied
    Originally posted by PointyShinyBurn View Post
    If he whips a silver star and DD 214 out of his back pocket you're going to feel like a dick, though.
    Na. A lot of phonies have faked DD-214s. I believe that the advice generally given is 'don't accept that as proof of anything unless you received a 'clean' copy from the powers that be'.

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  • judoka_uk
    replied
    Originally posted by battlefields View Post
    I was considering that, judoka_uk, seriously. As soon as he said "full contact martial arts" I was thinking, I should test him. But then it got outlandish and I got out of there. You see, getting up and challenging him might seem like a good idea, but do I really want the newcomer to have to witness a fight in his first meeting, in a place self described as the Clinic of Calm? It would send mixed messages.
    Those were joke suggetsions. The sensible route is always the best.


    Originally posted by PointyShinyBurn View Post
    If he whips a silver star and DD 214 out of his back pocket you're going to feel like a dick, though.
    Actually it would probably prove Battlefield's point, not many Aussie servicemen get issued with American medals and get their discharge papers from US defence department.

    Leave a comment:


  • PointyShinyBurn
    replied
    Originally posted by battlefields View Post
    I can quite tactfully tell him, provided he is bullshitting, that saying that bullshit around me is not on and it would likely not be on around people who may have actually fought or known people that fought or even died in the conflict. So don't say it, na mean?
    This in, my totally uninformed opinion, sounds like the best idea. Avoids creating drama in the group but lets you get it off your chest.

    If he whips a silver star and DD 214 out of his back pocket you're going to feel like a dick, though.

    Leave a comment:


  • Larus marinus
    replied
    Originally posted by battlefields View Post
    I was considering that, judoka_uk, seriously. As soon as he said "full contact martial arts" I was thinking, I should test him. But then it got outlandish and I got out of there. You see, getting up and challenging him might seem like a good idea, but do I really want the newcomer to have to witness a fight in his first meeting, in a place self described as the Clinic of Calm? It would send mixed messages.
    Aye - if people even see you arguing with the guy, it might put them off coming again - considering that some of them are probably taking an uncertain step by even being there in the first place.

    If this guy is indeed making everything up, I find it difficult to imagine how much more pathetic a human being could actually be - I mean, he's telling bullshit stories to a roomful of alcoholics (and junkies?) for the attention and validation, whilst pretending to be an addict himself so that they'll listen to him. I'll bet that his home life isn't a good one...

    Edit: actually, pretending to be an addict as a pretext for picking up chicks at AA meetings is probably worse (if that really happens).
    Last edited by Larus marinus; 3/11/2011 8:56am, .

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  • battlefields
    replied
    I was considering that, judoka_uk, seriously. As soon as he said "full contact martial arts" I was thinking, I should test him. But then it got outlandish and I got out of there. You see, getting up and challenging him might seem like a good idea, but do I really want the newcomer to have to witness a fight in his first meeting, in a place self described as the Clinic of Calm? It would send mixed messages.

    Leave a comment:


  • battlefields
    replied
    It won't affect my sobriety, no concerns there. There are hundreds of meetings, I'm bound to run into him at one in spite of the amount of meetings, plus it is my home group and I've got good friends there. AA has no leaders that govern and no, people don't get turfed for bullshitting. There is a group conscience, I might bring it up there.

    The thing is we are there because we are not all there, if you know what I mean. I'm not exactly sane, that's for sure, so I have to be tolerant of other insane people. What I don't have to be tolerant of is false claims of 'Nam veteranism (?). I can quite tactfully tell him, provided he is bullshitting, that saying that bullshit around me is not on and it would likely not be on around people who may have actually fought or known people that fought or even died in the conflict. So don't say it, na mean?

    Leave a comment:


  • judoka_uk
    replied
    As PSB said is there some kind of meeting facilitator or group leader you can talk to about him? Is there a rule against standing up and saying you're full of shit to him?

    Alternatives include:
    Gong Sau! Get dressed up as Chong Li and challenge him.

    Force him to step his game up. For everyone one of his stories reply with an even more elaborate tale about your own badassery.

    Leave a comment:


  • Larus marinus
    replied
    Can't you go to another meeting somewhere else?

    Srsly - this guy (who sounds like a fucking mug) is not worth losing your sobriety over.

    Leave a comment:


  • PointyShinyBurn
    replied
    What are the rules of participation in the meetings? Do you promise to tell the truth/can you be kicked out for talking bullshit? Is there come kind of group leader you can take your concerns to?

    Leave a comment:

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