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Vietnam veteran claim, not MABS worthy, just want opinions

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  • Ciderbone
    replied
    Originally posted by Larus marinus View Post
    That actually happens?

    I'd heard of '13th stepping' (haven't been to AA myself - but know a couple of people who have), but I thought that it was a joke. Yaknow, a 'lawl - imagine if some of these guys here were just pretending to be alcoholics to meet women' thing.

    Kinda like (apocryphal?) tales of skinny guys going to obesity support groups to hook up with fat chicks - or guys hitting on women coming out of abortion clinics...
    Oh it definitely happens. I've seen it firsthand. It's nots necessarily always a guy "faking" a problem either, many of these douches are dry drunks or even still drinkings... however it exists men who don't have a drink problem or are borderline whose main motivation is to try to get laid or just harass the ladies. Probably it's more problematic in some places, some times, etc, and maybe some peoples overblow it, but it's not just a moral panic.

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  • Evergrey
    replied
    Sounds like a really insecure person who is pretty messed up in the head. My first reaction would be the desire to verbally shred or challenge him, but that probably wouldn't be terribly constructive, ultimately. Can you discuss this with other regular meeting-goers and then have a talk with him together about how his behavior is detrimental to the group and to other people's recovery?

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  • Larus marinus
    replied
    Originally posted by judoka_uk View Post
    I've never heard of AA meetings as a good place to pick up chicks. Maybe its a stereotype, but I've always conceived of AA meetings as exclusively male.
    Hmmm. Just put '13th stepping' into Google...

    http://stinkin-thinkin.com/2009/04/2...ace-for-women/

    “Thirteenth-stepping” is a euphemistic term used among members of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) to refer to people (particularly men) who target new, more vulnerable members (typically women) for dates or sex. Previous research suggests that women frequently experience sexual harassment in AA meetings and even in chemical dependency treatment settings. The objective of this survey study is to describe the frequency of various 13th-stepping experiences in a sample of women involved in AA.
    Fifty-five women, aged 17-72 years, completed an anonymous survey to describe their experiences with 13th-stepping by men in AA. Results showed that at least 50% of the participants had at least occasionally experienced seven of the thirteen 13th-stepping behaviors listed in the survey. Also, compared to women who had never attended a female-only AA group, women who had attended such groups reported more 13th-stepping experiences from their attendance at coed groups. Two of the study participants volunteered that men they met in AA had raped them.

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  • judoka_uk
    replied
    I've never heard of AA meetings as a good place to pick up chicks. Maybe its a stereotype, but I've always conceived of AA meetings as exclusively male.

    Leave a comment:


  • Larus marinus
    replied
    Originally posted by Ciderbone View Post
    Don't know what AA is like in Australia but here in Canada I'd guess an asshole like that is there to try to prey on vulnerable women. Thus the self aggrandizement.
    That actually happens?

    I'd heard of '13th stepping' (haven't been to AA myself - but know a couple of people who have), but I thought that it was a joke. Yaknow, a 'lawl - imagine if some of these guys here were just pretending to be alcoholics to meet women' thing.

    Kinda like (apocryphal?) tales of skinny guys going to obesity support groups to hook up with fat chicks - or guys hitting on women coming out of abortion clinics...

    Leave a comment:


  • Ciderbone
    replied
    Don't know what AA is like in Australia but here in Canada I'd guess an asshole like that is there to try to prey on vulnerable women. Thus the self aggrandizement.

    Leave a comment:


  • Eddie Hardon
    replied
    Last edited by Eddie Hardon; 3/11/2011 6:02pm, . Reason: typos

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  • hungryjoe
    replied
    Originally posted by jnp View Post
    I think you will be surprised how many of them see through this guy.

    Comedy suggestion, next time after Mr. Douchebag finishes up one of his stories politely inform him that Liars Anonymous is down the hall and two doors to the right.
    Maybe the comedy option is the best. While many may already see through the guy, there are probably even more that are just tired of hearing his crap.

    Good to hear you're doing well battlefields.

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  • Permalost
    replied
    At a moon festival performance, a guy told me about his master's death matches in Southeast Asia. He said the guy's finishing move was a flying leg scissor to break the spine...yeah...

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  • Larus marinus
    replied
    Originally posted by battlefields View Post
    All good advice guys, thanks. I might have been venting a little because I had to make it appear like everything was okay last night. The rational thing is probably to take pity on what is probably an extremely sick man.

    Or, get my face rubbed in his war record if I find out his last name.
    Even if he turns out to be the real deal as far as his military service is concerned, I don't think that you'd be wrong for questioning it, in light of some of the other stuff you say that you've heard him claim (e.g. deathmatches).

    "How many lies does a man have to tell in order for him to be considered a liar?" and all that...

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  • battlefields
    replied
    All good advice guys, thanks. I might have been venting a little because I had to make it appear like everything was okay last night. The rational thing is probably to take pity on what is probably an extremely sick man.

    Or, get my face rubbed in his war record if I find out his last name.

    Leave a comment:


  • Larus marinus
    replied
    Originally posted by judoka_uk View Post
    Because of this thread I'm now getting this advert



    Bioresonance and lasers! Who knew quitting drinking could involve lasers.
    I think that they're trying to say that you should go to a club, take ecstasy, stare at the pretty lights and jerk around to repetitive beats instead of drinking booze...

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  • helmutlvx
    replied
    I bet his last name is "Hyperbole".

    GET IT?

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  • Soldiermedic
    replied
    You've mentioned that your sobriety isn't being compromised by him being there and carrying on, so you should just let things run their course, he will not be getting the reaction he needs to fuel his narcissism, and he'll move on.

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  • Snake Plissken
    replied
    With all due respect and no slight intended:

    Fuck him and work on your own problems that have led you to being in these meetings in the first place.

    If he is truly "Cornelius-ing" his way around to self-help meetings, fact is he has greater problems than you and no amount of your outing him as a fraud will matter.

    Just look at him as an example of what you could have become if you continued on your previous ways.

    Respect for confronting a self-destructive behaviour and doing something about it.

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