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Vietnam veteran claim, not MABS worthy, just want opinions

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    Vietnam veteran claim, not MABS worthy, just want opinions

    As some of you may know I am in recovery from substance abuse and regularly attend AA and NA. Seeing as it is frowned upon, indeed it is incongruent to the program's ethos and one's sobriety, to "gossip" about other people in the Fellowship to other people in the Fellowship, but I have to throw something about this out there because it goes to the heart of Bullshido.

    There is a bloke in recovery that just seems out of place, kind of like Edward Norton's character in Fight Club where he goes to support groups but doesn't have the disease. Except this dude presumes to preach as to how to beat alcoholism. Every time he shares he acts like he is in a courtroom giving an extremely important presentation in a murder trial. He paces back and forth, pausing like some sort of QC (barrister) to add emphasis and using the various reading materials like he was presenting evidence that would put someone away for life, but dude very rarely has anything to say and if he does it is usually verbatim something that someone else has said and he has appropriated without reference. As you can tell, he pisses me off.

    I built up a very deep resentment against him during one share a few months ago, as he took 25 minutes of everyone's sharing time (meeting is only an hour and a half, we try and get in as many speakers as possible, 5-10 minutes each is optimum) telling us what we are like and how we should do the program. If you know anything about AA, you'll know that we do not tell alcoholics they are alcoholic, nor do we tell them what to do. We tell them our story and how we achieved sobriety, relying on the alcoholic to identify similar patterns in their drinking and use what helped us if they think it will help them. He talked that much bullshit like he was an expert that I was still pacing in my apartment hours later pissed off that I hadn't told him he was a fucking bullshit artist and to sit down and shut the fuck up.

    Anyway, tonight, same thing happens. Up until then, he had a fairly normal drinking story. Tonight, apparently, he was a Vietnam veteran, a Kings Cross bouncer, a fucking full contact martial artist and also that he had competed in, get this, South East Asian "Death Matches". No fucking shit. Dude seriously shared he was Gene Lebell crossed with Frank Dux, mixed with Rambo and a bit of Geoff Thompson.

    I have more fucking scars on my penis (insert STD jokes here) than that cunt has on his whole body. I could've let the bouncer story slide (he even said, "you won't find it on my resume"), hell, I could've let the "I did full contact martial arts seriously since I was 12" slide as someone who had done TaeKwonDo and was brainwashed. But fucking SE Asia DEATH MATCHES?! Fuck off. Seriously, FUCK. OFF. That alone caused me to leave the meeting, although as you've probably guessed it was like the eyelash that broke the camel's back.

    Now his whole story is in disrepute. It bugs me because he is claiming to be a Vietnam veteran, something I disagree with strongly if you weren't there and I'm sure everyone is behind me on this. I am making it my mission to find out his last name so I can find out if he was in 'Nam, although it is going to be hard being an anonymous program. I will not be the hand of wrath, but I will indeed call him on his bullshit.

    The worst thing is when I returned for the last two seconds of his share (and the fucking meeting), he singled me out and made a comment referring to something in my share. Cunt.

    But come on... SOUTH EAST ASIAN DEATH MATCHES? Fucking kidding me, he fucked with the wrong AA hombre saying that shit around me. I reckon I'm going to have shirts made up saying "Martial Arts Fraud Inspector" or something.

    If this guy turns out to be a phony, what would your course of action be?
    GET A RED BELT OR DIE TRYIN'.
    Originally posted by Devil
    I think Battlefields and I had a spirited discussion once about who was the biggest narcissist. We both wanted the title but at the end of the day I had to concede defeat. Can't win 'em all.
    Originally posted by BackFistMonkey
    I <3 Battlefields...

    #2
    What are the rules of participation in the meetings? Do you promise to tell the truth/can you be kicked out for talking bullshit? Is there come kind of group leader you can take your concerns to?

    Comment


      #3
      Can't you go to another meeting somewhere else?

      Srsly - this guy (who sounds like a fucking mug) is not worth losing your sobriety over.

      Comment


        #4
        As PSB said is there some kind of meeting facilitator or group leader you can talk to about him? Is there a rule against standing up and saying you're full of shit to him?

        Alternatives include:
        Gong Sau! Get dressed up as Chong Li and challenge him.

        Force him to step his game up. For everyone one of his stories reply with an even more elaborate tale about your own badassery.

        Comment


          #5
          It won't affect my sobriety, no concerns there. There are hundreds of meetings, I'm bound to run into him at one in spite of the amount of meetings, plus it is my home group and I've got good friends there. AA has no leaders that govern and no, people don't get turfed for bullshitting. There is a group conscience, I might bring it up there.

          The thing is we are there because we are not all there, if you know what I mean. I'm not exactly sane, that's for sure, so I have to be tolerant of other insane people. What I don't have to be tolerant of is false claims of 'Nam veteranism (?). I can quite tactfully tell him, provided he is bullshitting, that saying that bullshit around me is not on and it would likely not be on around people who may have actually fought or known people that fought or even died in the conflict. So don't say it, na mean?
          GET A RED BELT OR DIE TRYIN'.
          Originally posted by Devil
          I think Battlefields and I had a spirited discussion once about who was the biggest narcissist. We both wanted the title but at the end of the day I had to concede defeat. Can't win 'em all.
          Originally posted by BackFistMonkey
          I <3 Battlefields...

          Comment


            #6
            I was considering that, judoka_uk, seriously. As soon as he said "full contact martial arts" I was thinking, I should test him. But then it got outlandish and I got out of there. You see, getting up and challenging him might seem like a good idea, but do I really want the newcomer to have to witness a fight in his first meeting, in a place self described as the Clinic of Calm? It would send mixed messages.
            GET A RED BELT OR DIE TRYIN'.
            Originally posted by Devil
            I think Battlefields and I had a spirited discussion once about who was the biggest narcissist. We both wanted the title but at the end of the day I had to concede defeat. Can't win 'em all.
            Originally posted by BackFistMonkey
            I <3 Battlefields...

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by battlefields View Post
              I was considering that, judoka_uk, seriously. As soon as he said "full contact martial arts" I was thinking, I should test him. But then it got outlandish and I got out of there. You see, getting up and challenging him might seem like a good idea, but do I really want the newcomer to have to witness a fight in his first meeting, in a place self described as the Clinic of Calm? It would send mixed messages.
              Aye - if people even see you arguing with the guy, it might put them off coming again - considering that some of them are probably taking an uncertain step by even being there in the first place.

              If this guy is indeed making everything up, I find it difficult to imagine how much more pathetic a human being could actually be - I mean, he's telling bullshit stories to a roomful of alcoholics (and junkies?) for the attention and validation, whilst pretending to be an addict himself so that they'll listen to him. I'll bet that his home life isn't a good one...

              Edit: actually, pretending to be an addict as a pretext for picking up chicks at AA meetings is probably worse (if that really happens).
              Last edited by Larus marinus; 3/11/2011 8:56am, .

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by battlefields View Post
                I can quite tactfully tell him, provided he is bullshitting, that saying that bullshit around me is not on and it would likely not be on around people who may have actually fought or known people that fought or even died in the conflict. So don't say it, na mean?
                This in, my totally uninformed opinion, sounds like the best idea. Avoids creating drama in the group but lets you get it off your chest.

                If he whips a silver star and DD 214 out of his back pocket you're going to feel like a dick, though.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by battlefields View Post
                  I was considering that, judoka_uk, seriously. As soon as he said "full contact martial arts" I was thinking, I should test him. But then it got outlandish and I got out of there. You see, getting up and challenging him might seem like a good idea, but do I really want the newcomer to have to witness a fight in his first meeting, in a place self described as the Clinic of Calm? It would send mixed messages.
                  Those were joke suggetsions. The sensible route is always the best.


                  Originally posted by PointyShinyBurn View Post
                  If he whips a silver star and DD 214 out of his back pocket you're going to feel like a dick, though.
                  Actually it would probably prove Battlefield's point, not many Aussie servicemen get issued with American medals and get their discharge papers from US defence department.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by PointyShinyBurn View Post
                    If he whips a silver star and DD 214 out of his back pocket you're going to feel like a dick, though.
                    Na. A lot of phonies have faked DD-214s. I believe that the advice generally given is 'don't accept that as proof of anything unless you received a 'clean' copy from the powers that be'.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Militar...he_Vietnam_War

                      Comment


                        #12
                        BF, the question to ask yourself is why are you reacting to this man, who is almost certainly a pathological liar, like this? I don't mean the surface reason, "I feel he made false statements about matters that concern me personally.", I mean what are BF's personal reasons for becoming emotionally invested in this guy's bullshit?

                        My best advice is to let it go. Don't let this guy's problems waste any of your time, mentally or physically. However, bearing in mind that you will probably not be satisfied with that recommendation, try talking to one or two of your seniors in the group about this guy. Ask them what their impression is before you tell them yours.

                        I think you will be surprised how many of them see through this guy.

                        Comedy suggestion, next time after Mr. Douchebag finishes up one of his stories politely inform him that Liars Anonymous is down the hall and two doors to the right.
                        Shut the hell up and train.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          First and foremost major props for not losing your temper, especially considering to what extent his ramblings seem to have affected you. If I understood correctly, he at one point mentioned you in a derogatory manner? Mind you, this guy probably needs as much help as anyone else, but if he can't follow the rules like everyone else, he needs to be told to adjust his behavior by whoever is running the program.

                          Isn't there supposed to be a group leader or a councelor leading these sessions? Frankly I'm a little surprised that he has not taken action.

                          Hope this won't put a damper on your progress. Good luck man, keep on doing what you're doing.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Sounds like a nightmare. However I kind of feel sorry for king bullshit as well. He must think so little of himself to create such outrageous fantasies just to make his life bareable.

                            I don't claim to know anything about your situation but perhaps it would help talking to whoever facilitates the meetings saying you have concerns for this man. Rather than saying he is a lying twat perhaps suggest that you are genuinely worried about him and you feel he he needs help beyond the scope of the meetings. You could raise the issue of the effect his behaviour is having on the group dynamic in this way without looking as if you have a personal grudge.

                            Hope you resolve this as it would be a shame to lose the comraderie you have developed in your meetings. Good luck, mate.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Because of this thread I'm now getting this advert



                              Bioresonance and lasers! Who knew quitting drinking could involve lasers.

                              Comment

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