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Fat out of shape killing machine...ridiculous, hilarious FrontSight email marketing

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    Fat out of shape killing machine...ridiculous, hilarious FrontSight email marketing

    The funniest thing I've seen all year has been some marketing emails I've recieved recently from FrontSight, a Nevada firearms training institute. There's nothing fundamentally wrong with the firearms training, but IMHO it's overpriced and definitely geared towards hardcore marketing of their products and services.

    Anyway, I just got these emails where FrontSight is trying to make you buy Tim Larkin self defense DVDs, and they come with this silly testimonial where someone claims to be this old fat American tourist in Italy who was able to manhandle a random gypsy because he watched the DVDs.

    For those people on this forum who have never been to Italy as a tourist, one characteristic (of Rome at least, from my experience) is that there are these families of gypsies that are basically looking to pickpocket or roll tourists. Since they know each other they tend to work in teams. To the best of my knowledge they mostly team pickpocket you.

    There's stuff like that all over Europe. Heh, my dad went ot Geneva one time and got sucker punched by someone, who ripped off one of his bags. But it was a very socially conscious minimum force sucker punching because they went for the gut instead of the head.

    Point is, we're talking about extremely mild minimum force pickpocketings. Not to my knowledge even robbery or mugging per se.

    So, here's the funny story where some fat 60 year old dude wraps his arm around the back of some gypsy's neck and drives him into a wall, and then acts like this means he's some kind of badass.

    As if practically anyone couldn't do something like that. Why even pay for RBSD DVDs when a few lessons of judo would let you do exactly the same thing? Assaulting a pickpocketer who thought he'd picked a soft target and getting the drop of him is hardly a meaningful measure of any sort of real combat ability, or the ability to survive any truly threatening situation.


    I want to report an incident which took place in Rome.

    We had toured the city on the open-top buses, and just enjoyed a glass of wine at an outdoor cafe near the bus terminal.

    We were walking toward the taxi stand and I noticed a small group of ruffians lounging around the entrance to the subway. As we walked along two of them left the group and began to follow us and close the distance. When one of them reached into my back pocket I grabbed him by the neck, rotated through and bounced him off the wall of a building. I put him on the ground and ascertained that he had nothing of mine in his hands. I looked around for his companion and discovered that he had run off. (My significant other was holding her walking stick ready to strike at either of them).

    Now let me describe myself... I am 57 years old, 5' 11" and 330 pounds. I am in lousy physical shape, as I work behind a desk and eat too much and don't get enough exercise.

    My significant other is older than I am, and neither of us is likely to run away from a dangerous situation successfully.

    How did I become an old, fat, out of shape killing machine? Well the old, fat, and out of shape part took years to perfect, but sometime in 2006 I became aware of Tim Larkin and Target Focus Training...

    I was interested in the philosophy expressed on the TFT web-site.

    Two things impressed me immediately.

    The first was the concentration on function, not form. The objective is to cause a disabling injury to your opponent.

    Second, the training is available to people of every size, gender and physical condition. The size or condition of the opponent is of secondary importance because the physiological reactions to the TFT strikes and kicks are involuntary.

    If one learns to deliver a disabling injury and follows through, no opponent can prevent one's successful self defense.

    I ordered the DVD set and it arrived promptly.

    Tim Larkin made the point that criminal violence doesn't depend on skill or practice, but on inflicting injury on a victim. I watched the DVDs every night for a week and realized that this information was useful and of vital importance.

    The sessions are well described, the instructions are clear, and the practice shown is illustrative and helpful. I learned a good deal from this abbreviated set of DVDs and was determined to get more TFT training.

    When the sixteen disc course became available I immediately sent for it. It took me a couple of weeks of evening sessions to watch the whole series, which essentially condenses the three day live course into about 16 hours of instruction.

    This set of DVDs is terrific!

    The whole course is presented logically, with the sections on asocial violence, legal responsibility and post incident considerations thoroughly handled.

    Each section on different types of injuries is concisely covered, and the demonstrations are just as real as when you are attending the class. No one is seriously injured, thanks to the quality of the instruction, but some of the instructors and mastery class members come away with bruises. You watch real people practicing the moves, being coached by first class instructors and learning to strike, rotate and follow through.

    I have re-watched almost every one of those discs and find each time that I learn more and reinforce the training. The technical side is thoroughly and carefully explained and the time devoted to practice and coaching makes it clear how the training works and why it does.

    I cannot endorse them highly enough, and would cheerfully buy them again at full price, which is remarkable for someone as frugal as myself.

    I like to travel and to walk around the various cities we visit both in the U.S. and abroad. In the past I have been apprehensive in various neighborhoods and wondered how I would react if we were confronted by bad guys.

    I regarded many younger larger and probably stronger individuals as threatening, especially in unfamiliar neighborhoods and unknown cultural situations.

    I stayed aware, and tried to appear confident but I was uncertain what I would do if violence began.

    With the benefit of the TFT training DVDs I know that, while anyone can be outnumbered (and TFT is excellent on dealing with multiple adversaries) I have the tools to protect myself and my significant other against an attacker.

    Since viewing and reviewing the TFT DVDs I look at bad guys on the street as potential Targets, not as Threats. It is hard to convey in words how profound the transformation has been.

    The TFT training DVD course is extremely thorough, dealing with everything from the nature of violence to the physics and physiology of inflicting injury to dealing with armed attackers and multiple adversaries.

    I do not believe that anyone can watch the whole sixteen hours or so and not come away prepared to defend him or herself effectively from violence in our society.

    I'm a great example of how anyone of any age or physical condition can learn how violence works, and how to counter it by causing injury to an opponent.

    I can't think of a better opportunity to learn how, than these TFT training DVD's and want to thank you for bringing this information to the attention of your Front Sight students.

    You are right, an unimaginable amount of freedom and self confidence is gained through knowing how to incapacitate a violent opponent within 5 seconds or less. Take it from me, you are also correct that everyone should own this amazing DVD collection!


    LOL, did he write 330 pounds!? He probably had a 200 pound weight advantage over the pickpocketer. He probably punked the pickpocketer in spite of the training, not because of it.
    Lone Wolf McQuade Final Fight: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmrDe_mYUXg

    #2
    YouTube - CRAZY DIRTY FATSO - Official Music Video
    Dan Severn loves raping people.

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      #3
      So with this 16 DVD set I too can learn to bruise people while weighting 330 pounds?! sign me up!

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        #4
        I thought this thread was about me. :)

        Seriously, good thing he didn't try that here. Our gypsies worship Bruce Le.

        YouTube - Zajebancije Udri Brus LI Sivi kamion crvene boje

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          #5
          Originally posted by Wounded Ronin View Post
          this silly testimonial where someone claims to be this old fat American tourist in Italy who was able to manhandle a random gypsy because he watched the DVDs.
          Let's see how that would unfold in Naples :D

          For those people on this forum who have never been to Italy as a tourist, one characteristic (of Rome at least, from my experience) is that there are these families of gypsies that are basically looking to pickpocket or roll tourists. Since they know each other they tend to work in teams. To the best of my knowledge they mostly team pickpocket you.

          There's stuff like that all over Europe.
          You sir, have made my day. roflmao


          Staring at them already from a distance and nodding 'no' works too.

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            #6
            Did I miss something with the video of the balls-tripping mustache guy finding the courage within himself to start a garbage truck?
            *********************************************

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              #7
              My fat, out of shape uncle stumbled across some teen punk trying to break into his car in a parking lot. He picked him up like a doll, and hurled him against the wall so hard that he spent the week watching for news reports of a body being discovered. No training, ever. I guess he should invent/market his own system.
              "Systema, which means, 'the system'..."

              Originally posted by strikistanian
              DROP SEIONAGI MOTHERFUCKER! Except I don't know Judo, so it doesn't work, and he takes my back.
              Originally posted by Devil
              Why is it so goddamn hard to find a video of it? I've seen videos I'm pretty sure are alien spacecraft. But still no good Krav.
              Originally posted by Plasma
              At the point, I must act! You see my rashguard saids "Jiu Jitsu vs The World" and "The World" was standing in front me teaching Anti-Grappling in a school I help run.
              Originally posted by SoulMechanic
              Thank you, not dying really rewarding in more ways than I can express.

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                #8
                So,if i get the DVD's will I gain like 280lbs?
                Betcha the cheesburgers cost extra.Thats how these RBSDers get you.
                Only a cheap,lazy grand or so for the DVD's,then they jack up the price of the cheeseburgers,the shifty fuckers.

                And 16 DVD's?
                At least 14 of them better have Steven Seagall & 6 of them HAVE to at least mention Tony Jaa & the Hamburgler,or I'll know it's a scam.

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                  #9
                  Are you 50 lbs now?

                  Originally posted by Moenstah View Post
                  Staring at them already from a distance and nodding 'no' works too.
                  How do you nod 'no' in European?
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                    #10
                    Originally posted by PizDoff View Post
                    Are you 50 lbs now?



                    How do you nod 'no' in European?
                    By shoving your middle finger gently up and down your mouth.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Oh yeah,I sobered up enough to do the math.
                      Turns out i'll only gain around 180lbs,what a scam.
                      I'm always getting mixed up converting pounds to kilos etc.
                      Bloody good thing I'm not a drug dealer.

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