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Wau! Ancient Egyptian martial arts!

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    Wau! Ancient Egyptian martial arts!

    http://ahakemet.djeba.org/

    Wow, I am really thrilled by the force multipliers that are readily apparent in his "only move the lower arm if possible" strikes! His guard is excellent- no one is going to get through that. When you are battling pictograms, it is important that you keep your feet in a perfect line- otherwise you might fall off of the wall. Hieroglyphs do not move from side to side, so this is clearly a very effective style.

    The monotonous drumming serves to bewilder and confused your opponents.

    YouTube - Aha-Set Strikes and Blocks Ancient Egyptian Martial Combat

    Think I can win at the dojo with these new deadly techniques?

    #2
    It's a pyramid scheme.
    Martial Arts and Philosophy: Beating and Nothingness
    click here to order on Amazon

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      #3
      Good lord that was awful. Who is this guy? Has he done any other martial arts? Where is he getting this stuff? Why isn't he wearing a shirt?

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        #4
        Without checking for his web site, I can already predict that he's the only lineage holder of this ancient mysterious art, probably got kicked out of the Freemasons, and used to date a fat goth chick that was really into magic but left him once she decided to become a vampire, while he insisted on joining Team Edward (hence the shirtlessness.)

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          #5
          His problem is that his skin lacks melanin, so he can't use the ankh to channel the energy of the sun into electric power like the ancient Egyptians.

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            #6
            From the eye-bleed-causing website:

            "
            Aha-Kemet, the Martial Combat of Ancient Egypt. During co-founder Patrick A. McCoy's research of the Ancient Egyptian temple Edfu, he came across the title of a papyrus "Book of Martial Combat" that was once stored in the House of Papyrus Rolls at Edfu. As the book itself was lost to history, Mr. McCoy embarked on a research project that would evolve into what is known as Aha-Kemet. After asking the help of his friend and martial arts instructor Michael A. Papero III on the project, the two began delving into the Martial Anthropology of Ancient Egypt. Finding enough research to compile a book of Martial Combat, they believed their project was completed. The gods, however had other plans. Being inspired by the gods, they began to expand their project into what has become Aha-Kemet, the Martial Combat of Ancient Egypt.
            Aha-Kemet is divided into different forms. Aha-Set, which is strictly unarmed combat intended as a 'basic training' for soldiers. Aha-Wesir, the wrestling of Ancient Egypt. Aha-Montu, a close combat training for a more urban setting. Aha-Re-Khet, weapons combat."

            Of course the banner font is "papyrus." Almost appropo, for once. Apparently he paid for that MS Pain special.

            Permalost- you mean like this?

            YouTube - Charging Your Ankh Meditation

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              #7
              See? Now we need to see some anthropology credentials, and actual published research (as in published by a credible anthropological org.)

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                #8
                Ancient Egyptian healing technique demonstrated by Kelly Hu, as seen in The Scorpion King:

                YouTube - Kelly Hu The Scorpion King


                And now Dwayne Johnson demonstrates Egyptian fighting arts, also from The Scorpion King:

                YouTube - Kick Ass Moments! The Scorpion King

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by Evergrey View Post
                  Do I detect a fucking southern drawl in that egyptian ankh meditation video?
                  Srsly? 9/10 super ancient and super lost arts are taught by fucking hillbillies from the south?

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                    #10
                    I absolutely love reconstructed martial artforms. They bring a hilarity of the highest order.

                    Lord knows, it's hard enough trying to learn moves from the Victory Belt series of books, wherein we are given step-by-step text instructions accompanied by photographs from many angles, as well as contextual description of the move's best use.

                    Miraculously, these guys can interpret poorly preserved rendititions of moves, recorded by scribes who were not likely practitioners, into an effective and deadly art!

                    I'll bet a fallout shelter's worth of baked beans that after the inevitable apocalypse, some anthropologist is going to swear he's deciphered the lost fighting art of Ballet.

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                      #11
                      God DAMNIT that beat is going to be stuck in my head the rest of the day.

                      FUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKK!!!!!!

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                        #12
                        EDIT: I take back my post. I am slightly hopped up on pain killers right now. I don't trust my mental state. I will wait to reserve judgment on this extraordinary video until I can think clearly about the implications of such well thought out techniques.

                        Obviously the ancient Egyptians did not know how to walk.
                        Last edited by Uncle Skippy; 1/17/2011 3:09pm, .

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                          #13
                          Originally posted by Uncle Skippy View Post
                          Oh.... and that guy = dumb.
                          Or a werewolf.

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                            #14
                            I'll bet a fallout shelter's worth of baked beans that after the inevitable apocalypse, some anthropologist is going to swear he's deciphered the lost fighting art of Ballet.
                            No, we won't be that lucky. What they'll find will a whole bunch of _ing _un rubbish which will begin as the deadliest martial art of the ancients, immediately split into 43 different lineages and bring down civilization in a way that no number of zombies could.

                            Luckily we won't be around to see it.

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                              #15
                              I like how he's (barely) holding his gut in all the time. Purely aesthetical or some long lost defense art?

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