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Martial arts spoiler alert!

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    Martial arts spoiler alert!

    MARTIAL ART SPOILERS!

    Unrivaled groundfighting
    Spoiler:
    BJJ


    Good stand up grappling and cheap
    Spoiler:
    Judo


    Fantastic striking
    Spoiler:
    Muay Thai


    You're gay
    Spoiler:
    every martial art

    #2
    Pffft. This analysis is better:

    http://oelie.antville.org/stories/1490940/

    boxing= best knockouts

    tae kwon do= best kicks

    sambo= best counters

    greco roman wrestling= best grapples

    ninjitsu= best techniques

    wushu= most balanced

    muay thia= most powerful

    karate= best karate chops?

    tia chi= best mental stability

    jeet kune do= total style

    *kung-fu*= all of these put together

    just a food chain that i made up with martial arts styles. some styles i didnt put in there becuase i didnt have anything for them. tell me what i should and shouldnt have done.
    Dan Severn loves raping people.

    Comment


      #3
      Wait ... there's other grappling styles other than BJJ?

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by ADM View Post
        Wait ... there's other grappling styles other than BJJ?
        NO.





        five character limit.

        Comment


          #5
          The David Attenborough version

          Unrivaled groundfighting:
          Spoiler:

          Lions



          Good stand-up grappling:
          Spoiler:

          Bears



          Fantastic Striking:
          Spoiler:

          Kangaroos



          You're gay:
          Spoiler:

          Pandas
          sigpic

          When life gives you lemons... BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!

          "what's the best thing about aikido then?"
          "To be defeated by your enemies, to be driven by them from the field of battle, and to hear the lamentations of your women." ermghoti

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by Ignorami View Post
            The David Attenborough version


            You're gay:
            Spoiler:

            Pandas

            Spoiler:
            I feel like you eye-bawlin' me, dawg!

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by Holy Moment View Post
              Pffft. This analysis is better:

              http://oelie.antville.org/stories/1490940/

              This was on the same page

              My Martial Arts Chain:

              Boxing= Best Punching

              Muay Thai/Kickboxing/Kyokushin= Best kicking and striking other than punching.

              BJJ/ Sub.Grappling( Sambo, Judo, Shootfighting, Catch, etc.)= Best submissions, controling, ground strategy.

              Freestyle/Collegiate Wrestling= Best Lower Body Takedowns, positioning.

              Greco-Roman Wrestling/Judo( Sambo, etc.)= Upper-body takedowns, throwing.

              MMA/Vale Tudo/Pankration/ Shootfighting= All of these put together. Great competition.

              Firearm Training= Best Weapons.

              Taekwondo= Big variety of wimpy kicks.

              Ninjitsu= Live action roleplaying.

              Jeet Kune Do= Bruce Lee wannabes.

              RSBD= Defense against supernatural beings.

              Aikido= Best defense against compliant attackers who want to kill you by grabbing your wrist.

              Sumo= Praise to Yarbrough!

              Wing Chun=Theories over proof.

              Comment


                #8
                Praise to Yarborough!!!

                Dan Severn loves raping people.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by superninjagod View Post

                  Taekwondo= Big variety of wimpy kicks.
                  Yep. A thousand different ways to wave your foot through a beautiful arc in empty space.
                  It seems to me that the Sanjuriu Martial Art is not in guestion, but, rather the character of Mr. Galt.
                  -AkidoMom

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by ADM View Post
                    Wait ... there's other grappling styles other than BJJ?
                    Yeah dude, ever try Chin-Na?!

                    Where's Kyo in all this? :(

                    Comment


                      #11
                      I have to be honest, I wrote the second list on that Bruce vs. Jackie page. It was a few years back when I really had a gong ho attitude about confronting every bullshidoka that crossed my path.

                      Back when Bruce vs. Jackie still had an active community, it was an awe-inspiring purveyor of both hilarity and retardity. If any one of the old members started posting here, he'd immediately be written off as a terrible troll and probably get banned after spamming the board out of frustration. I make it a point to dig up a gem from it wheneve I can:

                      http://oelie.antville.org/stories/1460997/

                      Originally posted by Mike Tyson vs. Bruce Lee
                      you guys are dumb. in game of death, do you know the huge black guy, that did kick. and had a leg reach of 7 feet. and bruce did infact beat him in the movie, and also in a sparring match in real life. his name was kareem abdul jabar. they named a type of steel after that guy. and ppl say that if he was a boxer he would quickly beat mike tyson. and mike wouldnt be tall enough to bite his ear off, lol. so theres your answere, bruce beat a guy that can beat mike tyson, and he beat him in real life too. bruce also did boxing. bruce would do 9 punches in 1 second, there were times when he was really energetic, like super energetic, where he can do 10 per second. he aslo can do the 1 hit knock out punch, that only the biggest boxer can do at times. so theres your answere, bruce would win.
                      Dan Severn loves raping people.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        I can actually hear my brain cells dying as I read that.
                        "Systema, which means, 'the system'..."

                        Originally posted by strikistanian
                        DROP SEIONAGI MOTHERFUCKER! Except I don't know Judo, so it doesn't work, and he takes my back.
                        Originally posted by Devil
                        Why is it so goddamn hard to find a video of it? I've seen videos I'm pretty sure are alien spacecraft. But still no good Krav.
                        Originally posted by Plasma
                        At the point, I must act! You see my rashguard saids "Jiu Jitsu vs The World" and "The World" was standing in front me teaching Anti-Grappling in a school I help run.
                        Originally posted by SoulMechanic
                        Thank you, not dying really rewarding in more ways than I can express.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          I can actually hear my brain cells dying as I read that.
                          Yeah, I know. It's kind of like someone's popping bubblewrap inside your skull. Here's some more to help us die quickly so we won't have to live as vegetables:

                          http://oelie.antville.org/stories/833166/#comments

                          First of all boxing isnt that good. All u people out there always saying that boxers have stamina, so do martial artists. They dont sit there thowing their punches as slow as possible, they practice on their speed also. Im in Martial Arts, and ive seen boxers challenge the teachers....trust me, boxers stand no chance. Go do urself favors and get books on Bruce Lee and read em. Bruce would destroy Ali.

                          There were almost two hundred comments on that page, and I picked the one above completely at random without reading it. Odds are it's completely retarded, but I'll only know after posting it.
                          Dan Severn loves raping people.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            "Best of the Best 2" is all the evidence I need...

                            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPVqvU5QZlM

                            Clearly demonstrates the truth of this!
                            sigpic

                            When life gives you lemons... BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!

                            "what's the best thing about aikido then?"
                            "To be defeated by your enemies, to be driven by them from the field of battle, and to hear the lamentations of your women." ermghoti

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by Ignorami View Post
                              "Best of the Best 2" is all the evidence I need...
                              To clarify, Best of the Best 2 is all the evidence I'll ever need of anything, ever.
                              sigpic

                              When life gives you lemons... BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!

                              "what's the best thing about aikido then?"
                              "To be defeated by your enemies, to be driven by them from the field of battle, and to hear the lamentations of your women." ermghoti

                              Comment

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