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    #31
    That's the the thing I'd like to know. Yes, I have met some dick head BB and white belts as well. A large majority of the time they were like that from jump.

    Disappointed is a weird "insult" to me. Usually, when disappointed was used towards me, I had fucked up and knew what I had done even if I didn't agree with the assessment.

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      #32
      Originally posted by keke View Post
      Our club had changed and these two black belts left to join a different one, because our club got too "soft", the teachers started to emphasis more technique and less randori.
      I have a question about this. How much "less randori" are we talking about? Are you guys only rolling about ten minutes a class? Or just once or twice a week? How much randori did you do before the club changed?

      If you're doing significantly less randori now than you did before, then rest assured that your judo skills are regressing. Regardless of what these BBs told you, it may be time to look for a new place to train.

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        #33
        Here's the million dollar question.

        Did you ask what he meant by disappointed or did you leave all butt-hurt?

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          #34
          Originally posted by It is Fake View Post
          Here's the million dollar question.

          Did you ask what he meant by disappointed or did you leave all butt-hurt?
          Good point. Doesn't mean the guys not an asshole though.

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            #35
            Originally posted by RoughRobot View Post
            Good point. Doesn't mean the guys not an asshole though.
            It doesn't mean you aren't an asshole either.

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              #36
              Originally posted by It is Fake View Post
              It doesn't mean you aren't an asshole either.
              Following your advice, can you clarify what you mean?

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                #37
                Whether or not you are an asshole is irrelevant to the OP. Whether he is an asshole or not is irrelevant to my question.

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                  #38
                  Originally posted by It is Fake View Post
                  Whether or not you are an asshole is irrelevant to the OP. Whether he is an asshole or not is irrelevant to my question.
                  To clarify, I was referring to the BB being an asshole, my point being that being an asshole is not a pre-requisite to being useful, which too often gets confused in gyms.

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                    #39
                    Originally posted by RoughRobot View Post
                    To clarify, I was referring to the BB being an asshole,
                    I know who you were referencing. You tacked it on to my quote as if I was saying, he couldn't be an asshole if keke misrepresented what happened. That is irrelevant to wanting to know the entire context to the situation. He could be the biggest asshole in the world and be completely right in this specific situation.

                    We don't know.

                    my point being that being an asshole is not a pre-requisite to being useful, which too often gets confused in gyms.
                    No. What gets confused is the fact the BBs, in all arts, must be nice guys. It is just like all of the posts here when an instructor smokes and drinks and people flip out.

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                      #40
                      Originally posted by It is Fake View Post
                      I know who you were referencing. You tacked it on to my quote as if I was saying, he couldn't be an asshole if keke misrepresented what happened. That is irrelevant to wanting to know the entire context to the situation. He could be the biggest asshole in the world and be completely right in this specific situation.
                      Not my intention. My understanding of your post was: The BB may have been an asshole, but did OP take the opportunity to see if he had a point. I agreed, but wanted to reinforce the fact that, in the process, he may STILL be an asshole, which is an unnecessary, but often contagious, attitude in gyms.

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                        #41
                        Yeah well as Coffeefan said, it can be considered a boot up your ass and a wake up call to train harder. On the other hand a black belt vs a white belt is not exactly going to be Ali vs Frazier so he should have known from the get-go that it was going to be "dissapointing" no matter how big of a fight you put up. Also if he was leaving the Dojo the what did your progress mean to him? Could he mean it as a taunt to the head-instructor?
                        I dont know, i have just never been scolded that harshly even when i have perfomed extremely poorly.

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                          #42
                          Originally posted by SonofSpiridonov View Post
                          I dont know, i have just never been scolded that harshly even when i have perfomed extremely poorly.
                          Harshly? Really? Wow.
                          You sound mollycoddled.
                          The best one i've been told is, "What do i gotta do draw you a map??!!!"
                          "Disappointing" is mild enough to not even be funny.

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                            #43
                            Originally posted by keke View Post
                            You guys probably don't want to hear a sad sob story about grappling, but I'm in the throes of almost wanting to quit judo/bjj. Anyways, I've been doing judo for the last two years and BJJ for the last year. Only a orange belt and two striped white belt. Our club had changed and these two black belts left to join a different one, because our club got too "soft", the teachers started to emphasis more technique and less randori. I look up to these two guys, they're pretty skilled and out class me in technique and weight. They stopped in for tonight and I hadn't rolled with them two for probably about a couple of months. I thought, why not give it a go, I picked up a few things in BJJ (mind you we were doing ne waza). So I went with him, we bowed and he started to do the whole turtle thing for the noobies. I thought alright, hes done this before. I take his back and proceeded to try and choke him. Long story short I failed and pulled guard and played from there and then to half guard as he was trying to break it. I tried to play some half guard and take his back (I've been experimenting a bit with half guard and wanted to progress in it). I couldn't get the underhook and he arm locked me. That's all fine and dandy but he then says... "Ivan, you're a disappointment. That was disappointing." That pretty much felt like my whole grappling progress went straight down the drain. Normally, I don't care what other people even care to say about me, but these guys I kinda looked up to and wanted to emulate.

                            After that, the other black belt needed someone and so, hell I'll try to redeem myself. So he turtles up too. He let me try to choke him, I pretty much failed at it, there was no way my hand could reach deep into his collar. But what frustrated me was he started to look at his nails and pretended to look at a watch. I felt like they pretty much summed up my grappling experience - inadequate and almost regressing to a point. Anyways, just wanted to feel what you guys think, anyone had this experience? I mean they're cool, but I thought that was probably the most asshole thing they did.

                            Long story short, black belt called me a disappointment and I feel like I'm seriously lacking focus and progress. ( I feel like half of you are going to call me a pussy, especially Omega I JUST FEEL IT )

                            edit: tried to break it up, so it doesn't look like a huge fucking block of text
                            Actually no, not a pussy. I think that blackbelt was quite disrespectful if that's what he said in the manner in what I am reading. I'd love to get them on the floor and see who's the disappointing one. Beginners are to be encouraged not shat upon because they are not at a specific level yet.

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                              #44
                              Originally posted by CoffeeFan View Post
                              I agree, people here are being too quick to label the black belts as jerks with only getting one side of the story.

                              OK guys let me ask you a hypothetical question. Lets say you're a black belt instructor and you are practicing with a white belt student. It's been a while since you've last rolled and you notice that his skill has actually deteriorated. Do you coddle him, tell him he did a great job or do you be blunt with him and hope he takes it as a cue to step things up and improve himself?

                              I find it funny that most people on this site believe in training with resistance, being honest with your credentials, and instructors not to give a false sense of security to students; yet as soon as someone is perfectly blunt with a student and tells them they aren't improving, you all whine about what a meanie he is! What is more mean, telling someone he needs to improve or letting them get the shit kicked out of them because they have a false sense of confidence?

                              HTFU, in martial arts you have to learn about how much you suck before you can make improvements. Plus if keke actually quits because he didn't get the praise he wants, then he obviously doesn't have the tenacity to pursue martial arts. Keke, if your gonna be a whiny bitch then quite now and start writing Naruto fan fiction. Otherwise meditate on what they said and try to improve your game.
                              LOL, I have trained you well my young padawan. You have finally come over to the darkside.

                              Comment


                                #45
                                As a professional teacher outside of martial arts I can say that this is a very blunt way to assess a student however an opponent/attacker would have been less forgiving and perhaps this is what he was driving at. That considered for someone to say you suck but give no further explanation is poor teaching.

                                Why did he find you disappointing? Without elaboration the comment is only hurtful (yeah, I know get over it) and this brings his motives into question. I would assume he said it in order to make himself feel better about something. Be as dispassionate and direct as he was, ask him what disappointed him and how you should avoid the mistake in future. If he can't give a satisfactory answer ie one that helps you improve then he is not helping you learn and you can feel free to consider him a world class tool.

                                Smile inwardly, get on with it and think of how much better you will be as a black belt rolling with a beginner.

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