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a good friend of mine just signed up for judo

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    a good friend of mine just signed up for judo

    he called me to let me know how excited he was to finally start doing this sport, and asked me for advice. here is what i told him:

    1. wear your TKD black belt to class. you worked your ass off to earn it, you get to wear it whenever and where ever you want. if guys there want to make an issue out of it, challenge them to an honor match.

    2. go buy a camo grappling gi. they look totally bad ass. coupled with your black belt, you will have the psychological edge over all your opponents. if your instructor wants to tell you that you must wear white or blue only, tell him to piss off, you already spent 175 bucks on the camo one. if he still makes an issue, tell him to buy you one himself if it's so important to him.

    3. when showing you ippon seoi nage, make sure you let them know that it's a bullshit throw because it opens them up to allow you to attack all the pressure points on their back.

    4. at this point they will probably ask you to leave. it's just a test, so don't leave. instead do a 540 heel kick and scream out "I AM YOUR KANO NOW, BITCHES". you will probably get your yellow belt, just like me.

    #2
    Don’t forget to mention that breakfalls work best when you slap the ground with the back of your head. It increases the surface area you’re landing on, you see.

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      #3
      you forgot to remind him that only fa6z and filthy animals roll around on the ground

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        #4
        Originally posted by Snake Plissken View Post
        you forgot to remind him that only fa6z and filthy animals roll around on the ground
        i didn't forget, he's really hot with a tight bod. i'm hoping teh g3hy rubs off on him, so that i can rub off on him.

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          #5
          You mean you didn't tell him to soak his gi in sweat/not shower for at least 3 days before class?

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            #6
            You forgot to mention, he needs to challenge the largest brown belt saying "Hey bitches, who thinks they can take me down?"

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              #7
              actually i did cover that one. while telling him to wear his TKD black belt, i mentioned that he should go up to the guys with brown belts and say "brown belt huh? yeah i remember being a SHIT belt, WHEN I WAS 12!!!"

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                #8
                Originally posted by STB'A View Post
                actually i did cover that one. while telling him to wear his TKD black belt, i mentioned that he should go up to the guys with brown belts and say "brown belt huh? yeah i remember being a SHIT belt, WHEN I WAS 12!!!"
                That made me laugh so hard it hurt.
                Of the single rapier fight between valiant men, having both skill, he that is the best wrestler, or if neither of them can wrestle, the strongest man most commonly kills the other, or leaves him at his mercy.
                –George Silver, Paradoxes of Defence

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                  #9
                  Tell him it is a waste to go to class without at least 4 hours of youtube instruction and to always tell the instructor that he knows what he is about to show him.
                  GET A RED BELT OR DIE TRYIN'.
                  Originally posted by Devil
                  I think Battlefields and I had a spirited discussion once about who was the biggest narcissist. We both wanted the title but at the end of the day I had to concede defeat. Can't win 'em all.
                  Originally posted by BackFistMonkey
                  I <3 Battlefields...

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                    #10
                    #1 Defense Against a Hold: Get a boner.

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                      #11
                      key words to remember:

                      that's not how we did it in TKD

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                        #12
                        Originally posted by Snake Plissken View Post
                        key words to remember:

                        that's not how we did it in TKD
                        Also, feel free to kick to the head if anybody tries to take grips.

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                          #13
                          Make sure to mutter loudly enough for the instructor to hear "Psh I could bite/eye gouge my way out of that", it'll show you're thinking outside the box.

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                            #14
                            Don't forget to point out that judo, unlike TKD, doesn't deal with the lava, broken glass and aids needles found on t3h str33tz..

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                              #15
                              I heard the Judo guys don't know leg locks. Have him learn a couple on Youtube and go balls on the mat to submit someone with a leg lock during sparring. Once he cranks a knee bar or ankle lock, he will be feared and respected.

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