Minority Report: Browns invade Austin, TX Mega

[King Sleepless]

First off, I wanna say that in all the many great parts of the world I've been to, Texas definitely wins the, "Shittiest drivers in the world" award. I have been to San Fran, LA, Denver, all over most of the west coast, Buenos Aires, etc. etc. etc. And never have I encountered such awful fucking drivers. We're talking about lane splitters (in cars), people who shoot from 4 lanes across for no real reason, just to be in the far left lane or you know, for shits and giggles. People who drive drunk on Saturday morning at 11am. People who just brake... for no reason... ON THE HIGHWAY. And it's not isolated incidents, it's every 10-15 minutes in good traffic.

Secondly, I want to say that Omega, Danniboi and I were the only earth tone folk to show up to the mega, except for jitschix who had some filipino in her. But she didn't really count because her filipino is import/export on various occasions. It was pretty interesting though, because there was not a single person who wasn't white at the Austin get together. And really, come on guys, you know the world's looking at you. You live near the border, you could've hired some brown folk with a few beers and like $5 to come pretend like they're grappling or something.

We went ahead and drove 1700 miles down to Texas to show that the California Boys are definitely not pussies. Seriously, we drove 20 hours straight to get there. And came to clean up. We grappled, we sparred, I landed a jumping spinning round house and ate a liver shot. Everyone with some baby excuse decided to not bitch out and participate.

Now to rate people I met today:

JNP - Seriously dude, smile sometime. You have a dry sense of humor and it's like you're sitting in a time machine looking at the future from arm's length pondering the extent of your mortality seeking the answers for questions that dwell inside when in truth, you've known all this time what they were: relative. Anyway, you're pretty pimp dude. I knew I picked the best candidate for the 2008 elections when I picked you. Good man.

NWP - You fucking eye gouged me, son of a bitch. Also, dicks.

sriwhumaubnruan - You're a nerdy chubby kid who likes his camera and was stiff as a board. Relax bro, us yellow folk aren't gonna bite. My beautiful shiny teeth are there for show. Be chill. Lose the kung fu aura and I don't know, blaze up or something. Relax.

Coach josh - Dude you are like super no sense of humor. Maybe you were tired from driving 6 hours that day, but you were like in ZOMBIE mode. WTF man, I totally made an awesome T-rex joke and you didn't even smile. Everyone loves T-rex. If it's a heart you're missing, I can get you one.

Coach josh's homeboy - You're cool. You know how to laugh.

Jitschix - I got a thing for firecrotches. Good going... you know... on all that. You actually knew how to do things which was cool and also unexpected. You also knew how to laugh. Good times.

David Koresh jr. - Thanks for doing some kixboxing with me. I ate a liver shot and it kind of sucked, but I sucked it up and punched your head so it's cool. You're a pretty cool guy. I'd totally hang out with you, even if you're racist. no homo, man.

TEA - Bro. you remind me of what'shisface from Foot Fist Way, but without the crazy trophy wife or aggrandizing nature or the mullet in this awesome way. I was sad that you didn't have a crazy drawl accent though, which made me saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadddddddddddd. PS, did my hook punch sidekick sandwich taste good?

Hungryjoe - You're as redneck as I imagined. But you look like Creed from the office, and you creep me out kind of like Creed from the office. Let's just say, I wouldn't let you near my sister. Also, 1/2 + 7, she's too young for you.

Other people - You didn't introduce yourself even though we came in guns blazing. Maybe next time we need to bring a blowhorn or something. Fuck you guys.

The throwdown went pretty well and was overall lots of fun. It was sort of worth it to come out and play with you broskis, but the fact that Austin, Texas looks like the set from Escape from LA sort of makes me depressed. There was also no Snake Plissken, which made it not nearly as much fun. I hope you guys have video and are gonna post them up because if you don't, I'll be pissed.




PEACE OUT CRACKAS.

PS:

Fuck you Tenebrous.

DOUBLE PS:


GOTCHA, BIIIIITTTTCCCHHHH!!!!!

[Omega Supreme]

Remember I only drove the boy down. His comments aren't necessarily shared by moi. Not to mention the douche bag made us over an hour late and I was feeling under the weather because of my high school buddy trying to poison me with liquor the previous night.

Good times folks and all modesty aside; this is my 5th mega so bite me you pussy bitches who didn't make it.

[King Sleepless]

Remember I only drove the boy down. His comments aren't necessarily shared by moi. Not to mention the douche bag made us over an hour late and I was feeling under the weather because of my high school buddy trying to poison me with liquor the previous night.

Good times folks and all modesty aside; this is my 5th mega so bite me you pussy bitches who didn't make it.

Yeah, but some of them are shared though.

[danniboi07]

Remember I only drove the boy down. His comments aren't necessarily shared by moi.

Not necessarily shared, but I don't hear you disagreeing either.

Not to mention the douche bag made us over an hour late

Just quoting to emphasize the point.

and I was feeling under the weather because of my high school buddy trying to poison me with liquor the previous night.

What was that about bitch excuses?

Good times folks and all modesty aside; this is my 5th mega so bite me you pussy bitches who didn't make it.

2nd! woot. :bully:

[Sri Hanuman]

You're gona miss the best part. We're gona bbq Zapruder's dog.
And Sirc, you're my favorite lesbian.

[TEA]

Despite his Internet persona, Sirc is not nearly as annoying in person.

[The_Beak]

NOT WITHOUT MY GI TOP.

I left my Gi Top on the mat at Solidarity MMA.
I was in such a hurry to get the fajitas to the river that I just left it on the mat.
I just realized i left it there when i was unpacking my bag.
It's a white Adidas size 4.
PLEASE ZAP let me know if it was still there when you left or if one of your guys now has a shiny new Gi top.

FML
EDIT: Zapruder I was not accusing you or your guys of stealing.

and thank you TEA for grilling for us and saving the bullies a spot on the river I hope you get your GrillMaster tag.

[ShiroObiMike]

I was one of the "locals" that participated in rolling with a few of you this past Saturday. Even though I don't have half the experience of some of you guys, it was a blast having you guys come to the dojo and roll. Normally we have an hour class of mat work to supplement Enshin Karate that some of us train there, it was cool to be able to roll for a little longer. Sorry for not introducing myself to most of you, after a while it got kinda hectic and I chunked out the formalities but everyone of you guys seemed really cool and I'm glad I came out to the event.

[jitschix]

Sirc and Omega, if I'd realized you were going to come all the way to Texas for 2 short hours, I would have made sure to roll with you both while you were here. Omega, thanks for the takedown, I hope I can put it to good use around here. Sirc, you have a very strange sense of humor. :) BUT, yes, I definitely laughed. I am still laughing ;)

I'll post pictures soon.

[DKJr]

First off have to say, I'm bum fricking tired. Also Hell Yeah we do it big in Texas! Sirc I have to say it was fun punching a small asian man/boy in the face without it being a hate crime finally. I gotta give you props for your kick catch to trip, that was on the money. I'm going to describe the my experiences of some of the bullshido posters.(In similar sirc fashion, but without the "Californication".

JNP- Crafty/veteran/controlled/geriatric jiu jitsu and some of his wrestling background pops up in there too. Very level headed helpful guy, who's not as grouchy IRL as he is on the internet. Haha :eusa_danc

Omega- Controlled/wide/heavy/but still floaty top game/ with crazy sambo/kungfu/judo/ whatever subs and transitions he made me realize I suck at attacking. Showed some unique ideas about the kimura I'm adopting. Very outgoing not at all what you expect, very open with his knowledge. (Must be from being punched in the head so much) :icon_thum

Judo Josh-Crazy Cajun/Judo/ Jiu Jitsu hyrbid/ toss you on your ass and hard to sweep/ solid top game/ got me in a frickin' mounted triangle/holy hell there's a guard game there wtf? :help:. Super cool guy, funny stories, forearms like a bear. Very open with knowledge (Helps you change from assflopper to People tosser). Sweet clinch/throws in nogi, hopefully I can pull one of those off soon.

Jitschix- A crush you top game/ the red menace refers to her cross face/ Felt like a 500lbs man was crushing my jaw, sick top game (ya know...for a girl :icon_tong.) She's great, very gracious and giving, fun person, and very passionate about Jiu Jitsu (trains fucking 7 days a week!) Did I mention that cross face? JEeeez

Zapruder- he's very controlled/ chill roller/ crazy aware about leglocks, unique transitional game, short guy sneaky jiu jitsu. Also very tan for a white guy... Hilarious/gregarious/ and nice guy. Reminds me of one of the dudes in the hangover.

Sirc-Didn't grapple with Sirc but got to do some kickboxing. Throws up some crazy turning/spinning/ side heel kicking stuff, pretty good timing with his hands, looks like an asian man/boy. Gutsy guy with a constant smirk on his face. If he wasn't asian we'd hangout but since everyone's racist in Texas all he can do if help me with my math homework and do my dry cleaning.

Scott(Judo Josh's tall dark and handsome counter part:toothy10: haha)- Super cool guy, sweet throws, helped me with my Uchi Mata, (I stumbled around like a lame footed duck during most of the judo) Pretty strong guy with a good solid grappling game.

Sri- Didn't get to roll or spar, but hilarious in person as he is online. His vodka sense was of great use. What was that waitress's name again :eusa_doh:? haha

Hungry_Joe- haha he cracks me up, just a good'ole boy from the Sooner state. One of those crazy old guys who's scrappy, I'd describe him best as beef jerky tough.

To everyone else ya'll were great! NWP, TEA, Nasir, Dannyboy, Self Critical, and the families. Thanks to everyone for making this a success. I wanted to thanks Sirc, Dannyboy, and Omega for making the trip out to troll us.

I'll now go rest up since most everyone got a turn to sit on top of me at one point, punch me, or toss me on my ass. Peace,

DKJ

[TEA]

TEA - Bro. you remind me of what'shisface from Foot Fist Way, but without the crazy trophy wife or aggrandizing nature or the mullet in this awesome way. I was sad that you didn't have a crazy drawl accent though, which made me saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadddddddddddd. PS, did my hook punch sidekick sandwich taste good?

Since I haven't watched Foot Fist Way, I'm not sure how to take that. As for the accent, since my Mom is Welsh (i.e. not just of Welsh decent but from Wales and has a Welsh accent) and I grew up watching way to much Gillagan's Island, Sandford and Son and Good Times, I really don't think I ever had much chance of developing a strong Texas accent. Your hook punch sidekick tasted good and I complemented you on it at the time. How did my jabs and meat and potatoes jab, cross, roundkick taste? You seemed to enjoy those enough to open yourself up for second, thirds and fourths.

Sorry you guys had to bail. Today was a bit hectic, especially the grilling at the river and sparring transition, especially since most of us had never been to this gym. I ended up missing out on the gym time because the grill, family, parking and communication with other bullies took up pretty much all of my early afternoon. I only had a couple of rounds of stand up sparring left in me and no ground work anyways (it took me about five minutes to straighten my back up enough to get out of bed this morning and I was hobbling all day) and without y'all to spar stand up with, I'm not all that sad.

[Sri Hanuman]

What was that waitress's name again :eusa_doh:? haha

Donna... Dianne... DAWN. It was Dawn.
Tovarish, I wasn't looking at name tag.
Thanks to Jitschix for helping me remember that name. You're a true comrade.

[Sri Hanuman]

I mainly want to confirm 2 rumors:
1. Omega really does drink the blood and wear the skin of those he defeats in honorable combat.
2. Sirc truly does have a fabulous pirouette.

This was my very first throwdown, and I'm really glad to have been able to attend. I picked up a lot of new things, including a strong liking for Judo. Thanks Coach Josh, I now have deeper understanding of significance of face to ground ratio, and crucial understanding of why gator hunting with a .22 is not a good way to prove Charles Darwin incorrect. I truly regret that we did not have a chance to have drinking competition. Ippon by vodka... maybe next year?

I would especially like to thank everyone who took the time to grapple with me. I realize I may not be a particularly challenging person to grapple, and I did spaz out on a few of you, so thanks for putting up with it. I feel like I learned quite a bit from all of you.

Omega, Sirc, and Danny, thanks for showing up, allbeit mysteriously. (Although I totally called it. Ask NWP.) It was great seeing the stone wall that is Omega up close in person. I bitterly regret not having photographed him doing the TKD kata.

JNP, NWP, you two are fucking crazy-awesome. Looking forward to the next mega. p.s. NWP, I put your girls to work taking a few photos of the event at Solidarity MMA. To their credit, they got a few decent shots of you grappling, you may now feel strong tinge of pride. :}

David Koresh and Jitschix, unfortunately I did not get a chance to grapple either of you. Hopefully next time around I can pick up some kick ass BJJ techniques from the two of you. It was nice getting to knock back a few drinks with all of you, but hopefully next time we can have a designated driver so the rest of us can get shit faced and grapple the waiters. (p.s. I remember the name, but now it's useless. Thanks a lot.)

Zapruder, dude, you're a fucking human pretzel. Seriously. You move your legs at seemingly impossible angles, shrugginig off just about everything. Srsly. Dude, wtf. Monster.

Scott, didn't get to grapple or to know you too well, but thanks for showing up and doing the demos. Between you and Coach Josh, I learned quite a few new interesting things.

Hungryjoe, it was nice to meet you in person. Your Marine-ness is very obvious in an R. Lee Ermey sort of way. Even though I had major weight advantage over you (as well as almost everyone else,) you mopped the floor with me. Thumbs up, Sir.

Nassir, you're much tougher than you look. Hanuman power!

Tea, thanks for arranging everything. Hopefully we can do something again next year.

The_Beak, dude, it was great to meet a fellow San Antonio bully. Your grillmaster skills are how you say in american... kick ass, yes? You got in there and fried up a storm. Looking forward to our own local throwdown and cook-out. Will PM further info.

Now 2 big questions:
1. how to distribute the photos from the event?
There is a total of ~1gb or more, and may need to be burned on DVD.
We can upload them somewhere, and make them available for download, but I need to know if anyone has any problems with the photos being online. If anything, we may go the DVD route.

2. I know Jitschix was working on an article and could use some of the photos from the event. Would anyone have a problem with one or two of the photos being in the article? (Not sure which one as of yet, but wanted to make sure it's ok beforehand.)

[jnp]

I had a really good time, saw some old friends and met some new ones. Big thanks to Omega, danniboi07 and Sirc for coming all the way to Texas from California.

Thanks to Coach Josh for helping out those of us who are Judo-challenged. I will continue to work on my footsweeps.

Thanks to TEA for taking the time to set up the grill, and cooking up a some tasty vittles down at the river today. The Beak deserves honorable mention for those tasty fajitas.

Thanks to jitschix and Hungryjoe's eldest for spending time with my nieces.

And finally, thanks to everyone who rolled with me and took it easy on me. My back also thanks you.

I hope to see you all again on the mat someday.

[DKJr]

Try http://photobucket.com/ and just link the pictures. I have no problem with my picture being posted as long as I look man pretty in them.