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tall tales in MA!

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    tall tales in MA!

    what's your favorite tall tale from the martial arts?

    my favorite is about the taoist masters who live up in the mountains. they use qigong and special medicines to live to be very very old. they don't use ordinary techniques and their bodies do not look strong, but they have incredible control of their chi so that they can use it to make you feel hot or cold or scared, and make it seem like the world is growing dark and evil spirits and demons are coming out.

    when a taoist master lives to be around 200, his spirit is still strong but his body starts to grow weak. so he uses his special technique in which he bundles his spirit inside a powerful projection of chi, and sends his soul inside of a newborn baby. that way he controls his own reincarnation, and steals control of the wheel of life. to a taoist master, changing bodies is like changing a broken down old car for a shiny new one!

    this is why not everyone can learn the secrets of advanced taoist methods. only those who have cultivated their chi over countless incarnations and have learned to steal control of the wheel of life possess the inborn talent to achieve these special powers.

    #2
    i'll be impressed if you can tell a better one!

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      #3
      Some of the stories I've read on this site from some of the SCARS people had my skepticism radar on 10. These happened before I started posting here so I never bothered to follow up with questions.

      One from the BJJ side though. The guy that played Al Bundy on Married with Children trains in BJJ and he bragged about how it saved his life two times. Once was against his next door neighbor who he choked out. Just imagining this dude fighting is hilarious to me. The second one was actually silly, he said a guy tackled him and he put the man in the guard and the fight was subsequently broken up.

      Sincerely,

      Ken

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        #4
        Ed O'Neil's a purple belt, dude.
        Monkey Ninjas! Attack!

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          #5
          Kyoshu Jitsu videos, where a guy stares at the opponent & he gets 'KO'd' by chi... I really doubt they had stupider shit than that even in the old days of legends...

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            #6
            ed o'neil rules! i want to see him kick screech's ass on the next celebrity boxing!

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              #7
              I think my faviorite tall tale is when I see a local TKD demo in the mall, and the instructor says his martial art is over 5,000 years old. Yeah...RIGHT!

              That, or when I hve talked to some of his students here and there, and they tell me that the reason they don't go to open tournaments is because htey would dominate so much...again...RIGHT!

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                #8
                Hey hey, TKD is going to be 50 soon, you can't blame them for just accidentally putting in a couple more zeroes...

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by JKDChick
                  Ed O'Neil's a purple belt, dude.
                  This is the greatest thing I've heard all year.
                  Originally posted by The Wastrel
                  I think the forum's traditionally light-handed approach to moderation has become untenable.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    ricky bray - "yeah i think i could take a bullet in the chest" need i say more

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                      #11
                      "Al Bundy!" Too funny!!!!!!
                      Ghost of Charles Dickens

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                        #12
                        Originally posted by JKDChick
                        Ed O'Neil's a purple belt, dude.
                        I'd heard he was a brown belt.

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                          #13
                          "so he uses his special technique in which he bundles his spirit inside a powerful projection of chi, and sends his soul inside of a newborn baby."

                          Lol, that was funny.

                          It's "Chi-encarnation!" :)
                          "You realise the transformations give a man enough strength to destroy a truck with his bare hands!?
                          YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME, IN THE WORST POSSIBLE MANNER!!" - KiWarrior

                          "Sport ? That kind of thing's not my bag baby!" - Sammy Franco

                          "This system was developed with the help of notible BJJ fighter Ribbon Muchado." - "Sifu" Anthony Iglesias

                          Comment


                            #14
                            How many times have we all heard this one: All I have to do is hit you once, and your dead.


                            "You can't outrun death forever, but you can make the bastard work for it"

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Hey that one is true !!!!!!
                              If I hit you once with a suv going 80 mph, you are dead

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