Hahaha. Read This.

[SLJ]

[B]Can I come live with you and do chores, in exchange for free room, board, and training, like in the Shaolin days?[B/]


Ashida Kim replies: "At the present time we do not have an Apprenticeship Program. That sort of thing was more in vogue before there were public schools. Parents used to essentially 'sell' their children to the artisans to learn a trade and get an education. However, we are now working on the "Ninja Temple" in the hope of one day being able to host this sort of live-in program. Some of the instructors on our DOJO Directory offer private lessons and seminars, others have home study courses. You might try e-mailing them. Of course, there is always DOJO Press and the Academy of Martial Arts Video Testing Program that WE initiated before any other school would even permit it."




OMG he's working on a "Ninja Temple" so he can have apprentices stay with him.

I just found this quite funny.





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"Oh you bastard, I fucking hate pikeys!" - Georgeous George

[kismasher]

if you would read the fine print it actually says "Ninja Temple of Man Love"


The Way of a Warrior cannot be encompassed by words or in letters: grasp the essence and move on toward realization!
Morehei Ueshiba

Edited by - kismasher on September 12 2003 09:29:42

[blankslate]

Come here apprentice! Want to play with my shuriken?

....Now lets see if we can make 'Little Ashida' invisible...



--------------------------
Stay in your center.
R. Masters

[SLJ]

"....Now lets see if we can make 'Little Ashida' invisible..."


Bwahaha. That cracked me up!

I hate to think what the initiation is.

"Mmmmm, my young apprentice. You're going to have to show me how much you want entrance into my.....Temple."



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"Oh you bastard, I fucking hate pikeys!" - Georgeous George

[Beavis]

Come here apprentice! Want to play with my shuriken?

....Now lets see if we can make 'Little Ashida' invisible...

Eww. Now that's just nasty. <img src=icon_smile_dead.gif border=0 align=middle>

[blankslate]

"Ninja Temple of Man Love"

Now THAT was funny...

More things you'll probably overhear in this program:

"...Apprentice, bow down and prove your devotion..."

"...time for our nightly 'manuevers', apprentice..."

"...Apprentice! Touch your toes!! Now hold it there...yesss, that's it..."

"...its time for Ashida to sheath his 'weapon'!!"

"...Ninjas have always trained in grappling! Let me show you the Ninja MOUNT..."

to be continued?





--------------------------
Stay in your center.
R. Masters

[MrMcFu]

Oh man, this reminds me of a story I just HAVE to tell.

In college, I had a friend who we will call Jack. Jack was a cool guy and had done WT for a long time, but had stopped once he moved to go to school. Looking for an MA to start, he met this guy named Robert who said he was an "Akido Master". Now I don't know crap about Akido, but I knew it involved wrist locks, falls, and meditation. At the time I was doing TKD and thought I was invincible, so I declined his offer to train with them.

Fast forward a few months . . .

I ran into Jack at a party and asked how he liked his Akido. He just took a big swig of his drink, then turned very pale and stared at me. I was getting a bit uncomfortable, since I thought we were tight and the feeling I had somehow pissed him off. Finally he just told me to follow him out on the balcony so we could talk.

It turns out his first month of "Akido" was nothing but meditation in a dark room with burning incense . Master Robert said they needed it to prepare for the physically demanding tasks ahead. After "class" one day, Jack asked Robert when they were going to do the martial part.

Jack then stopped his story and looked like he was about to puke. I was like, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to man." But no, he wanted to finish. It seems Robert told him in order to take the next step in his training, they would need to shower naked together. But that was okay, since shortly thereafter they would take a trip to the moons of Jupiter together and all would be revealed.

Needless to say, that was Jack's last day under Robert's "instruction". He had that not-so-fresh-feeling for a few months afterward, and ran away whenever he saw Robert on campus.

Robert kept going to that university long after Jack and I left. At one point the Akido master caught up to me in a class we shared, and started to talk about martial arts (somehow he knew I did BJJ at that point). He told me about the "devastating offensive" capabilities of Akido and how it also involved swords. Particuarly his sword I imagine. Anyway, I blew him off and he went away.

As an endnote, let me just say I have nothing against Akido. I have never tried it. But I don't think it involves swords or taking naked showers or going to the moons of Jupiter.



Edited by - MrMcFu on September 12 2003 12:14:21

[kismasher]

now that's some shit you just can't make up

btw, we go to the moons of jupiter every wednesday in my aikido class. but you have to bring your own soap-on-a-rope for the shower


Ashida Kim, Rear Admiral in the Ninja Butt Pirate Navy


The Way of a Warrior cannot be encompassed by words or in letters: grasp the essence and move on toward realization!
Morehei Ueshiba

[MrMcFu]

oh crap

[PeedeeShaolin]

Im more suprised that Bullshida Kimdidnt accept the offer lol.

[blankslate]

AIKIDO...gross


More secrets of the NINJA

"...on your knees, apprentice, prepare to recieve the essence of the Master..."

"...that was a Hanbo...but this is a Kimbo"

"...Ashida's Temple is closed tonight. My ki energy is low and that rash is back..."

"...now those BJJ types--they are REALLY GAY..."


somebody make me stop--PLEASE!!

--------------------------
Stay in your center.
R. Masters

Edited by - blankslate on September 12 2003 13:10:45

[Jenfucius]

lol, this thread is hilarious!!! someone should forward this to ashida kim!

[Kensai]

He doesnt need to be here, I feel that we have a little bit of Ashida Kim inside all of us.....

[SLJ]

Yep, I hope he sees it.



Why is it always in Aikido you get these dogdy pervs ? No offense to any Aikidokas, but it seems your art attracks them.

And MrMcfu, when talking about certain perverted Aikidokas, it's best to avoid phrases such as:

"I blew him off and he went away."






-----------------------------------------------------------
"Oh you bastard, I fucking hate pikeys!" - Georgeous George

[MrMcFu]

Arrrgggg! Perverted English! :)

I think I will make that story it's own topic, just because everyone needs to see it.