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Murphy's Laws of Martial Arts

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    Murphy's Laws of Martial Arts

    Ten scientific principles that apply to the study of all martial arts:

    1) The wimp who made it through the eliminations on luck alone will suddenly turn into Bruce Lee when you're up against him.

    2) The referee will always be looking the other way when you score.

    3) You will have trouble with the ties on your gi pants when members of the opposite sex are in class.

    4) The day you leave work early to make it to class on time, the sensei will be sick.

    5) The sensei will only use you during demonstrations for joint-locking techniques.

    6) If you have to use your training in self-defense, your attacker's father will be a lawyer.

    7) After a flawless demonstration, you will trip on your way back to your seat.

    8) After years of training without a single injury, you will pull a groin muscle the night before your black belt exam.

    9) In an otherwise vacant locker room, the only other person will have the locker right next to yours.

    10) No matter how many times you take care of it before your promotion exam, you will invariably have to go to the bathroom when it's your turn.
    "The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as His father, in the womb of a virgin will be classed with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter." -Thomas Jefferson - (purposefully taken out of its context) Source.

    #2
    That BJJ white belt you're trying to school will turn out to have a black belt in Judo.
    Monkey Ninjas! Attack!

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      #3
      Originally posted by JKDChick
      That BJJ white belt you're trying to school will turn out to have a black belt in Judo.
      Last edited by Olorin; 7/31/2005 4:00am, .

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        #4

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          #5
          Your first fight in any tournament is always against the person who wins it all.
          I pointed at him [the panhandler], bringing my rear hand up in a subtle approximation of the double Wu Sau guard that is the default hand position in Wing Chun Kung Fu.

          "Step away," I hissed.
          -Phil Elmore

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            #6
            Originally posted by PoleFighter
            Your first fight in any tournament is always against the person who wins it all.
            OMG! this happened to me at the state BJJ comp i went to a few weeks ago. i went 4 minutes with him then he caught me in a triangle choke. then in the final he won with a flying armbar in 21 seconds.

            don't ya hate that?

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              #7
              You're fine after getting your ass kicked while sparring hard with one of your gym's animals, but you get injured after taking a love tap from a newbie.
              Don Frye doesn't like Sun Chips.

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                #8
                You have no trouble kicking tall people in the face, but you tear your hip flexor trying to step over a large puddle after class.

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                  #9
                  You beat the piss out of a TKD BB and as you walk off the mat, he hooks you.

                  I side kicked him as hard as a possibly could for that.
                  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGXiN-_BCts

                  Numa ^ 3

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