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My Bullshido for the week...

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    My Bullshido for the week...

    So I'm speaking at a convention this past weekend in Florida. So of course after my speech there is a lunch that I'm required to attend and invariably I end up engaging the person sitting next to me in small talk. Now being a large person, I always am asked, "Did you play sports? Basketball? Do anything else". I never, ever tell people that I engage in martial arts, mostly because I suck and also because someone will most likely tell me some stupid ass stories.

    Anyways, I'm asked the usual sports questions and I acknowledge that I played basketball and everyone else is drinking, etc and the individual I'm speaking to asks why I don't drink. So we talk about it and it ends up that he doesn't drink either and explains why.

    99% of the time he is a fun drunk, but the other 1% he is mean and wants to this guy is 5'4" and maybe 140 pounds. He then continues on that he is a 2nd degree blackbelt in TKD and that he's capable of killing people so that is why he stopped drinking. It was about this time that I rapidly began reconsidering my personal position on imbibing alcohol and whether or not there was a sufficiently large enough amount to keep my brain from overloading.

    To make matters worse, two other people at the table chimed in that they had various belts in TKD including one guy who trained with Chuck Norris 30 years ago.

    This ends my weekend in Bullshido.

    Gringo Grande
    MMA Record vs Llamas 0-1-0
    (The Llama bit my junk but the ref didn't see it).

    Originally posted by Gringo Grande

    To make matters worse, two other people at the table chimed in that they had various belts in TKD including one guy who trained with Chuck Norris 30 years ago.
    Did you ask him if he ever learned that running jump flying side snap kick that always KTFO a muthafucka'?
    “We are surrounded by warships and don’t have time to talk. Please pray for us.” — One Somali Pirate.


      I guess my run-ins with Bullshido are usually tame by comparision.When they (people) find out I do Martial Arts they ask me questions about this and that.Then I ask them If they have ever done it there answer always seems to be no.That they only know someone who does;Like a brother or best friend back in high-school.Our conversations tend to stop right there since there's nothig more to say.

      "God damn America" --Muammar al-Gaddafi


        Get them interested to try a class. I mean, don't act like some salesperson, just say "You can come try a class if you want". That's what I do. Nobody ever comes, though. :(



          That is cause you are not a salesman. :4robot:


            I had a bullshido encounter about a year ago with a TKD guy that was kind of humorous. My friend and I were visiting various Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu clubs in the area. Unfortunately, most BJJ clubs in this area do not make enough money to have their own schools, so they tend to rent time/space from other schools. This particular school shared space with a TKD school at the time (I believe they still do). The TKD class for the night had just ended, so we were waiting for the BJJ instructor to arrive. I politely asked the TKD instructor if he would mind if I played around with the heavy bag that was hanging with two or three other heavy bags over to the side. He said that was fine, so I started doing basic Muay Thai combos and in the process threw a few round kicks.

            I was focusing on doing what little I knew properly (I had taken about 4 months of Muay Thai at this point), and all of a sudden I hear "That stuff is OK, but if you REALLY want to make the bag fly up in the air, you have to do THIS!" Then a 16 or 18 year old kid comes running out of nowhere and does some kind of flying jump kick into the bag. Of course, the bag flies up in the air, and he stands around with an idiotic grin on his face. It was obvious to me at this point that this kid had far different goals in the martial arts than I did/do. I just sort of smiled and went back to my warm up. The kid stood around and watched me for a second, then energetically yelled "Hey, you're hitting that with your shins! I bet that hurts! I don't like to do anything that hurts!" Then he bounded off with all the energy of a puppy.

            What a weird kid.
            "No. Listen to me because I know what I'm talking about here." -- Hannibal


              I have a bullshido run in every month or two because I made the mistake of telling a couple of my friends that I do some martial arts. So when they introduce me to people, they say "this is Andrew, he's a ninja. He does martial arts." If people ask, I say that I'm not any good and they usually let it go. But sometimes I get to hear about the "secret marine killing moves" that somebody's cousin taught him. That type of person usually says that his favorite technique is to kill someone by hitting upwards on the nose. I'll ask to see a move and it's usually some bullshit wristlock. I've found that it's best to just humor those people.


                I usually don't hesitate to mention martial arts, as I am in Australia, people are normal here, and they consider it a regular activity just like cricket. It must be odd not talking to people about something you spend hours each week doing, much like a guilty catholic teenager having taken up masturbation I would assume.


                  Since I used to do TKD, and hold a 2nd degree blackbelt myself (which I got when I think I was all of 13 or 14...) I love countering people who brag on their deadly TKD skills (which sadly, happens all too frequently).

                  Them: "Well, I'm a blackbelt in TKD, I'm capable of hurting/maiming/killing someone."
                  Me: "Really? I did TKD too and have a second degree blackbelt. But I left TKD and never looked back."
                  Them: "Oh? Why did you do that?"
                  Me: "Because out of all the martial arts I've done, TKD was the most useless, waste of time shit I ever blew money on."
                  Click To Get My Free Training Newsletter... Do It NOW!

                  "You all just got fucking owned.";
                  "TaeBo_Master and GajusCaesar just scored 10,000,000 points on all you pawns."

                  - The Wastrel


                    Originally posted by The Bad Place
           I am in Australia, people are normal here, ...
                    Define normal in Oz, because I've never met a "normal" Aussie. :tongue3:

                    My most enjoyable experience with Bullshido came when I was in college and teaching my (at that time) g/f some of the filipino knifework. We were in the same room that the college Hapkido club was using, and I could see them looking at us. One guy kept shaking his head as if to say, "That poor guy has no idea how ineffective that would be against a TRUE MARTIAL ARTIST." Well, at the time, I had a kind of big chip on my shoulder for know-it-all college dickheads (I had been out of the service for less than a year at that point), so I asked the guy if I was doing something wrong. So he tells me that teaching some one to use a knife that way is the surest way to get them killed because any remotely trained martial artist could simply take it away. I was in a playful mood so I invited him over to show me how. I told my g/f that when she attacked, to crash, clear resistance with her alive hand, and to shiv the idiot like a prison ambush.

                    Needless to say, of 3 attempts, he was beyond killed all 3 times. So he mumbles some bullshit about how he didn't want to hurt my g/f because she was untrained and his techniques were lethal. That set me off, so I jumped in and told him to do all his throat rip dim mak techniques against me. He of course told me that he didn't want to kill me, I told him that if he could even get his hand near my throat or eyes I'd acknowledge his greatness. So he got into his ready stance and did one of those stupid fucking Bruce Lee, 'come-on-hand-waves-from-en-garde' things.

                    I said, "Whoa, I didn't mean now, I gotta go get my safety gear and stuff." When he relaxed and came out of the stance, I snapped a kick to his nuts. The rest of the Hapkido club started shouting and swarming, so I laughed and me and my g/f left.

                    Needless to say, I was a bit of an asshole when I was younger.
                    Kuha'o - Kela - Koa


                      I had one today while I was waiting to get my car inspected. Struck up a conversation with a guy while my car was in the bay. One thing led to another and the topic of martial arts came up. I mentioned that I trained, and he said he did too. He told me he had a room in his house set up as an impovized "ring" for lack of better words. I asked him what he did and where he trained. He told me BJJ and MT, but here is the kicker: he learned from books and videos. He has never had any formal training, and actual told me that he has never been mounted that he could not escape from. I just bit my tongue and waited for my car to be finished.............


                        :icon_tong Well I've met a rare few TKD mofos who were truly deadly guys. Those pretty much are narrowed down to Korean teachers/masters that I had the pleasure of training with back when I first started MA's (tae kwon do). I don't care how good you are at BJJ, if one of these guys kicked you even once, it was game over. Not only that, but one of them (who obviously was named Kim), could still kick hard, fast, high, and even jump at the age of about 55. It really depends on the intensity level of how they train, and wether they have experience or not. You can usually tell by their eyes, wether they are just performing routines/flying kicks or wether they are serious practicioners. I'm not saying the art is ultimate or anything, I'm just saying that there are SOME TKD guys out there who could do some damage. Of course, these were guys who lived, breathed, and ate TKD all day every. So for us 2 days a week guys, its still pretty useless.

                        For the most part, nowdays TKD is sport oriented, and the intensity level, as well as the seriousness is toned down. Also contact sparring isn't allowed that often in many schools (without pads). Eh, oh well.

                        Poi Dog, who is the girl on your avatar? :icon_tong

                        As far as martial art conversations, I pretty much have the same encounters as everyone else. When people introduce me, they say stupid stuff like "this guy has like 10 black belts in 10 martial arts" etc., which is utter crap, I would never stick around and get a black belt from anywhere except BJJ (internal arts have no belts). Anyways somehow or another, I ended up getting tested (friendly until one of them actually hits me) by some egotistical drunk, and I end up having to clean up, or vice versa.
                        Last edited by BaguaMonk; 5/24/2005 2:11am, .


                          got caught in one of those conversations once with the other guy trying to talk tough. I thought I'd change the subject so I brought up the subject of falconry. you know what the guy got puffed up over that too. I couldn't win he puffed up like a banty rooster with the subject of martial arts and was over opinionated over falconry niether of which he had any hands on experiance.
                          What are you suposed to do, everyone seems to want to show you that they know more than you do.


                            My wife for some unknown reason has on occasion told people that I do MARTIAL ARTS in casual conversation when sports or hobbies come up.
                            Probably makes sense to her since I spend a lot of time grappling every week. I grimace.
                            Then I say I basically wrestle. Or ask if they know what the ufc is.

                            I once had the pleasure as a result of this of commenting that at over a year I was still a white belt. I was infomed he got his black belt in under two years. I told him you get what you pay for.


                              Was just taking the piss...'normal'..does not think martial arts implies being a dark lord of the sith. My bullshido moment...I was once listening to an acoustic performer in a bar and I was aware that he was an avid ninja wannabe. At some point between songs he overheard the words 'barfight' from the crowd. He stated into the microphone "there better not be a barfight because i'll win". I winced, seeing the large number of flannel shirt wearing blokes with arm bigger than this wanker's whole body. Really though, in my experience, a comment that you study martial arts is more likely to be met with 'fair enouGh, i play darts' than some dramatic 'i rip out spines' BULLSHIT.
                              Last edited by The Bad Place; 5/24/2005 8:05pm, .



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