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How to tell you're fighting a McStudent on street

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    How to tell you're fighting a McStudent on street

    Just some light humor.


    1. They tell you what they're trained in

    2. They "warn" you that they are trained

    3. They do some sort of "move" while you're way out of range

    4. They make a stance... then look down to make sure their feet are in the right spot

    5. Cold stretch

    6. After you give them a good smack for being a still target in their "stance", they get back in the same stance again

    7. Threaten you with their instructor

    8. Tell you what color belt they have

    9. Throw terminology at you

    10. Accuse you of being unfair or cheating




    -The Agent

    #2
    Damn, I actually ran into somebody who did the first nine of those.

    Go away I'm talking to myself

    Comment


      #3
      11. They cry when you punch them in the face.

      Comment


        #4
        Years ago, when I was a State Trooper, I had a drunk, in the breathlyzer room, tell me he was a black belt in Karate...He started to threaten me and began making "Bruce Lee" noises. When he came up in some crazy one legged stance I had enough and promptly kicked his standing leg out from under him......END OF LESSON.

        I think this guy went through most of the things Agent White listed....Funny stuff.

        The other guys got a big laugh out of this.

        Comment


          #5
          Hey were you on Cops about 8 months ago because something like that happened there too.

          Go away I'm talking to myself

          Comment


            #6
            13. They do that intense breathing thing and double punch towards the ground before the fight.

            **The most miraculous power that can verifiably be attributed to "chi" is its ability to be all things to virtually all people, depending on what version of the superstition they are attempting to defend at any given moment.**
            Normally, I'd say I was grappling, but I was taking down and mounting people, and JFS has kindly informed us that takedowns and being mounted are neither grappling nor anti grappling, so I'm not sure what the fuck I was doing. Maybe schroedinger's sparring, where it's neither grappling nor anti-grappling until somoene observes it and collapses the waveform, and then I RNC a cat to death.----fatherdog

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              #7
              14. They're wearing their gi...at the bar.
              -----------------------------------------------------
              "The difference between us, and other martial arts websites you might be looking for, is that we're not going to feed you, well, bullshit about martial arts."
              -Phrost

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                #8
                15. They announce they spend their spare time comparing styles on the internet. :)

                --------
                What would happen if a one hand clapper attempted to stop a tree falling in the woods when no one else was around?
                --------
                The Wastrel - So attractive he HAS to be a woman.
                - Pizdoff

                Comment


                  #9
                  I don't get it. Hey guys BJJ vs. Sambo. Whaddayathink?

                  **The most miraculous power that can verifiably be attributed to "chi" is its ability to be all things to virtually all people, depending on what version of the superstition they are attempting to defend at any given moment.**
                  Normally, I'd say I was grappling, but I was taking down and mounting people, and JFS has kindly informed us that takedowns and being mounted are neither grappling nor anti grappling, so I'm not sure what the fuck I was doing. Maybe schroedinger's sparring, where it's neither grappling nor anti-grappling until somoene observes it and collapses the waveform, and then I RNC a cat to death.----fatherdog

                  Comment


                    #10
                    SAMBO SOUNDS LIKE A TROPICAL DANCE AGHAGAHAGAHAGAHGAHGA

                    HEY EVERYBODY LETS SAMBOOO!

                    Comment


                      #11
                      I can feel the rhythm.
                      I want to sambo right now.

                      --------
                      What would happen if a one hand clapper attempted to stop a tree falling in the woods when no one else was around?
                      --------
                      The Wastrel - So attractive he HAS to be a woman.
                      - Pizdoff

                      Comment


                        #12
                        16. He makes fun of TMA guys on message boards.
                        17. He pretends that he's been in street fights and has beaten up karate and kung fu guys.
                        18. He talks a lot about martial arts on message boards but actually trains and works out maybe twice a month.
                        19. He spends more on UFC Pay-Per-View events and videos than he does on his own training.
                        20. He has never actually taken a punch in the face, and when / if he ever does, realizes that he hasn't learned shit at the Gracie Academy.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          lol The first 8 but 6 & 7, I saw in a real fight.

                          "A California man has been taken to court for stalking Anna Nicole Smith. The man has been charged with invasion of privacy, illegal trespassing, and having really bad taste."-Conan

                          Comment


                            #14
                            21. They tell you to punch at them, chest level, with your right foot stepping in and to stop after that.

                            "But some apes they gotta go, so we kill the ones we don't know" - 'Ape shall never kill Ape' by The Vandals
                            Apu: "Oh! You have just been Apu'd!"

                            Comment


                              #15
                              LOL.

                              22. They fuck up a counter or block, and then ask you to do it again so they can get it right.

                              Comment

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