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Has anyone ever farted during class?

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    Has anyone ever farted during class?

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    Last edited by baltasargracian; 5/14/2004 4:42am, .

    #2
    Flatulence from the guard is my favorite technique...oops wrong thread!

    **The most miraculous power that can verifiably be attributed to "chi" is its ability to be all things to virtually all people, depending on what version of the superstition they are attempting to defend at any given moment.**
    Normally, I'd say I was grappling, but I was taking down and mounting people, and JFS has kindly informed us that takedowns and being mounted are neither grappling nor anti grappling, so I'm not sure what the fuck I was doing. Maybe schroedinger's sparring, where it's neither grappling nor anti-grappling until somoene observes it and collapses the waveform, and then I RNC a cat to death.----fatherdog

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      #3
      The funny thing is when there are like 3 people in the room and 2 people are grappling, and 1 person is sitting, and the 2 people wrestling hear the fart from across the room, but the perpetrator is calm as a Hindu cow.

      delirious

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        #4
        A police self defence instructor farted once when he tried to get away as I tried to pin him down.

        Everyone thought it was me, but when we got up again he bowed and appologized to the seminar attenders.

        He seemed less embarresed about it than I was.

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          #5
          I fart all the time. I long ago gave up being embarresed about it, and sod anyone else who gets embaressed.
          Taking responsibility for my actions since 1989

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            #6
            I have before, since we train on a squeaky floor and it's usually when we're stretching, I try to play it off like it's my foot squeaking against the floor.

            -------------------------
            Clap your hands everybody,
            if you got what it takes
            'Cause I'm Kurtis Blow
            and I want you to know
            that these are the breaks!
            "The morning glory blooms for an hour. It differs not at heart from the giant pine, which lives for a thousand years."

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              #7
              The farting is not so bad......It's when you leave that brown skid mark on your white Gi that would be embarrassing!!!!!!!!

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                #8
                I was rolling with my instructor last night and I farted when I hit the mat from his takedown.

                "How Long Do You Think It Would Take Me To Beat Her, 5 Seconds?" - Shoot Figher Alex Keenan Reffering to a TKD 2nd Degree BB Who Thought She Could Take Him.

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                  #9
                  hahahaha these posts are funny, I didnt consider the bjj aspect of farting from a throw (bjj grappler) or farting from the guard (the wastrel), I was only thinking of the stern serious silent warm up stretch at the start of a traditional MA class.

                  Hmm I gues ther is also farting while doing TKD kicks, and farting during meditation (which I have also bore 'nasal' witness to).

                  I hope more people here can add to this thread.

                  I wonder if any masters have ever farted during instruction, I guess that the odour would be an enlightening and empowering one though for the dedicated students/nasal recipients, embued with mystical highly developed warrior fart particle chi.

                  Which leads me to think, would a wing chun masters fart have different molecular chi properties to say a kyokushin masters farts? hhmm , now I guess Im getting too deep.

                  phooooeeeeerrrrrrrt bwep bwep bwep baaaarrrp.

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                    #10
                    Also, Id like to add, that possibly ancient chinese masters actively developed certain chi kung sphincter contraction exercises, to retain thier molecular chi fart gasses, and would have secretly passed down these secrets to loyal devoted dedicated students. "The 7 buddha lotus sphincter squeeze" is an example of this "closed door" secret anus breathing chi kung.

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                      #11
                      Farting is the only sure fire way to flush concealed ninjas out of hiding.
                      As everyone knows they can be a big problem with their stealthy ways, so it's important to get plenty of fibre!

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                        #12
                        Norwood,
                        That just makes the ninja more likely to just flip out and kill you, and NOT EVEN THINK TWICE about it. Ninjas are so sweet.

                        **The most miraculous power that can verifiably be attributed to "chi" is its ability to be all things to virtually all people, depending on what version of the superstition they are attempting to defend at any given moment.**
                        Normally, I'd say I was grappling, but I was taking down and mounting people, and JFS has kindly informed us that takedowns and being mounted are neither grappling nor anti grappling, so I'm not sure what the fuck I was doing. Maybe schroedinger's sparring, where it's neither grappling nor anti-grappling until somoene observes it and collapses the waveform, and then I RNC a cat to death.----fatherdog

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                          #13
                          ...especially if you are a pirate, right?

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                            #14
                            When I taught kids classes and a kid farted not one kid in the room would crack a smile. But if somebody farted during the adult class it would be a laugh fest.

                            "But some apes they gotta go, so we kill the ones we don't know" - 'Ape shall never kill Ape' by The Vandals
                            Apu: "Oh! You have just been Apu'd!"

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                              #15
                              Man.... I weigh about 140 and most of the guys in the morning BJJ class I attend are 200 or more. Sometimes I feel like a human woopie cushion!



                              "Gentlemen! No fighting in here! This is the War Room."

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