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    martial failure

    Can anyone out there relate an incindent where their martial training failed them in a str33t situation? If so, how? And how did you remedy it?

    #2
    One day, I totally couldn't levitate. Bad chi or something. Maybe it was the hot pot.

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      #3
      The groin shot has failed me. I hit a bad golf shot one day and in a mad, clubswinging fit, I hit myself in the nuts with my golf club. It hurt.
      Regardless, that doesn't change the fact that kickboxing is commonly known as fighting while grappling simply isn't. - Osiris

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        #4
        My opponent failed to attack me in the expected left-forward-leaning stance. I would have even been prepared for a suitably deep horse stance. I subsequently failed to enter a coorespondly geometrically correct stance. I also failed to keep my fists tucked by my ribs. I did no yell. I did not throw chi balls. I didn't even make my shirt sleeve flap loudly upon punching to demonstrate the power of my form. I'm completely failed my art.

        I remedied the situation by studying something more useful.

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          #5
          NOOBS on parade, do a search dumbass's there are plaenty of these threads
          ----------------------------------------
          After reading Jekyll's threads I bring back an old sig.......

          Do you really train or just bore people on message boards and parties talking about it.

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            #6
            That civilisation may not sink,
            Its great battle lost,
            Quiet the dog, tether the pony
            To a distant post;
            Our master Caesar is in the tent
            Where the maps are spread,
            His eyes fixed upon nothing,
            A hand under his head.


            - W.B. Yeats

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              #7
              Its right there, between your man boobies.

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                #8
                I fell rollerblading and my Ukemi didn't work

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                  #9
                  I came back to home village one day to find my family being murdered by a group of bandits from the nearby Cheng province.

                  I had spent my entire life studying our family's Thousand Winds Staff style, so I pulled a war spear out of my dead sister and fought back.

                  When I clashed with my foes, I realized that they were using Brass Dungbeetle style -- this was the infamous Xi Clan!! Despite struggling with them for 10 minutes, my Thousand Winds Staff was proven completely worthless against their fighting prowess. I was cut across the face with a butterfly knife and knocked unconscious by the Xi Clan Whirling Tornado Technique. They left me for dead.

                  Since then, I've had nothing to call my own except this scar on my face and a burning desire for vengeance upon those who took my life. I have been endlessly wandering the earth searching for the secret Orbiting Moons Style -- the only style capable of defeating the Xi Clan Brass Dungbeetle style.

                  . . . still wandering . . .
                  MY NAME IS ANTAGONY I SUCK AT COMBAT SPORTS KTHX

                  "blahblahblah, but I don't think I'm going to train tonight."
                  "Fag."
                  "Well if that were true, then I'd really REALLY want to come train!"

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                    #10
                    Originally posted by ronin69
                    Its right there, between your man boobies.
                    I already looked there, I am pretty sure it is behind the sofa.
                    That civilisation may not sink,
                    Its great battle lost,
                    Quiet the dog, tether the pony
                    To a distant post;
                    Our master Caesar is in the tent
                    Where the maps are spread,
                    His eyes fixed upon nothing,
                    A hand under his head.


                    - W.B. Yeats

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by Unicron
                      I fell rollerblading and my Ukemi didn't work

                      I fell down drunk and *tried* to roll out of the fall - i cracked my head on the pavement and got KTFO. I woke up with a cop searching my back pocket for my wallet (and fake ID). I told him to "stop grabbing my ass" and was treated to a complementary one-night stay at the GrayBar Hilton.

                      Woo hoo!
                      "You know what I like about you, William? You like guns AND meditation."

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                        #12
                        I got jumped by a couple guys in a bar. My HapKiDo did nothing, fortuneately a few of the customers DID do something and all ended well.
                        Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?

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                          #13
                          Originally posted by Antagony
                          I have been endlessly wandering the earth searching for the secret Orbiting Moons Style -- the only style capable of defeating the Xi Clan Brass Dungbeetle style.
                          The moons you seek are orbiting jupiter.
                          Seriously, most likely grabbing somebodies crotch like that is only going to make your situation much, much worse. Unless the person doing the gullotine has no pants on, then it's okay as long as they bought you dinner first. - Kidnemo

                          I don't know about angels, but it's fear that gives men wings - Max Payne

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                            #14
                            One day, when I was cutting off my enemies' heads with my favorite katana, a head flew back into my jaw and I was KTFO. When I regained consciousness, my pants were down around my ankles and I was experiencing internal distress.

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                              #15
                              I ran into a tree, had about half a second to react, didnt, and now my knee has a cool scar!
                              chicks dig scars... I hope

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