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    Help me make up my own fake martial art

    I'm making up my own fake martial art. The trick is that I need as much terminology as possible to be in Japanese, because I told an old Japanese American high school friend of mine that he is now offically the grandmaster.

    I decided to call the martial art "Saiyuki Ryu Kempo" and claim that it was a martial art brought from India to China which later went to Japan by Tripatika.

    I thought that to make the MA extra cheesy I should use astronomical names for the various dan ranks in the system.

    So, does anyone know how to say the following astronomical things in Japanese?

    North Star
    Southern Cross
    Orion
    Pleides

    Thanks very much for your kind help.
    Lone Wolf McQuade Final Fight: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmrDe_mYUXg

    #2
    I refuse to take part in this- oh shit! I JUST DID!

    Make sure you have "shaolin" somewhere in the art's history, gets 'em every time.

    Comment


      #3
      Wounded,

      I just ranked you to 1st dan in t3h d34dly TKD and this is how you repay me? By starting your own martial art? That's about as bad as the sordid history of hapkido/kuksool/hwarangdo. (I don't care, just kidding).

      Be sure you work "bukkake" in there somewhere. And if you don't know what "bukkake" is, then I suggest you do a search on yahoo.

      Will your Japanese art be a descendant of ninjutsu?
      SEANBABY:
      "The seventh law of thermodynamics is that every time a fat person gets near a trapdoor, they fall in. Itís the closest thing we have to scientific proof of God."

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        #4
        Southern Cross are burning
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          #5
          oh...and be sure that you tell the sheep....I mean your students that the techniques are so deadly that they can't be used in a tournament. "We train for the street!!!!"
          SEANBABY:
          "The seventh law of thermodynamics is that every time a fat person gets near a trapdoor, they fall in. Itís the closest thing we have to scientific proof of God."

          Comment


            #6
            Tell them you cant spar either because your techniques kill even on light contact.

            Comment


              #7
              And they must all wear speedo's until they earn their golden gi pants.

              Comment


                #8
                Start your own forum.
                I'll jump on there and comment about how awesome it is, how easy to learn once I paid the fees, how it's infinitely better that the (ak) ninjitsu I was master in, and how it's changed my life for the better!

                *levitates off into the sunrise*
                *meditates on the wonderfulness of Saiyuki Ryu Kempo Kakaja Aikikai Do Jutsu*

                Reverse-Punch KIAI!!!


                `~/
                sigpic

                Comment


                  #9
                  wronin~
                  Damn, duude. Now you've got me doing it!
                  I just made up my own fake martial art. #*^@%$% it's better than my real one! It only has three techniques, but they're T3H three techniques. The only ones that haven't been invented, yet.
                  In fact, I'm sure it's unbeatable, but I can't test that theory because I would end up killing everybody. I guess it's too deadly for t3H str337. Damn. Damn. Damn.
                  *sighs
                  Guess I'll go back in my coma. . .

                  `~?
                  sigpic

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Tell 'em you taught this system to the NAVY SEALS. But the SEALS are not allowed to tell anyone about it.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      So, does anyone know how to say the following astronomical things in Japanese?

                      North Star
                      Southern Cross
                      Orion
                      Pleides
                      North Star = Hokuto (actually refers to the big dipper constellation)

                      Southern Cross = Nanto

                      Orion and Pleides I am not sure of.

                      But you can use the 4 Celestial gaurdians

                      Genbu-god of the Northern of Hokkan was represented by a Giant turtle with a serpent attached.

                      Byakko- god of the Western Country of Sailo, was represented a white tiger.

                      Suzaku- god of the Southern Country of Kannon, represented by a phenoix

                      Seiryu- god of the East of Kutou, was represented by the Eastern Blue Dragon



                      I made of a fake MA to see if I could get accepted to a SOKESHIP Council/board. (I really despized them) I called it Genbu Ryu Karatejutsu. I didn't lie but I stretched to the truth. (ie working out with and teaching a SF guy and some rangers became TRAINED SPECAIL FORCES AND US ARMY RANGERS) Turns out I could be a SOKE of my own art as long as my $400 (average) check or money order was in.
                      ______
                      Xiao Ao Jiang Hu Zhi Dong Fang Bu Bai (Laughing Proud Warrior Invincible Asia) Dark Emperor of Baji!!!

                      RIP SOLDIER

                      Didn't anyone ever tell him a fat man could never be a ninja
                      -Gene, GODHAND

                      You can't practice Judo just to win a Judo Match! You practice so that no matter what happens, you can win using Judo!
                      The key to fighting two men at once is to be much tougher than both of them.
                      -Daniel Tosh

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Tripatika....wasn't the monk in Journey to the West reffered to as Tripatika sometimes?

                        Comment


                          #13
                          make sure to include:

                          * calligraphy kata
                          * 2-man bonzai sparring set
                          * empty hands vs weapon training (with you the master using the weapons of course)
                          * colored gis to match the belts that must be purchased at each rank advancement
                          * have monthly rank advancements
                          * all lower belts must bow backwards (ie back bend) until they reach 1st dan
                          * 1st dan requires new contract obligating 10 hours per week doing errands for master
                          * the name should include all of the founders, so each time you add a new founder (ie rediscover a lost founder in one of your forms) the name should reflect that
                          Locu5
                          combat sports hobbyist

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Remember to add principles and techniques that, by their very nature are so advanced and deadly, they can never be proven to be as useless as they truly are.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Be certain to write plenty of books. Paladin Press will publish them.
                              "I'll Try To Be Nicer, If You'll Try To Be Smarter "

                              "When You Are Standing on the Edge of a Cliff a Step Forward Is Not Progress "

                              "Stonehenge, where the demons dwell, where the banshees live and they do it well..."

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