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    #16
    Good Lord. . . . did anyone else read his section on weapons? Unbelievable.

    http://www.self-defense-weapons.com/

    * Guns, knives, pepper spray, etc. are inferior to his system of grabbing whatever's handy in your environment and beating your assailant with it.
    * A knife doesn't work because when you draw it, you are telegraphing to your opponent that you intend to use a knife to attack him, which will enable him to grab your knife and take it away from you so that he can use it against you. Apparently, if you're stabbing him with a pen or beating him with a waffle iron conveniently found nearby, this is not a problem.
    * Guns and knives are useless because you'll leave them at home on the bed when you go out. Therefore, you should learn the "secrets" of picking up objects from your environment and whacking your attacker with them, for which he'll only charge you twenty-five bucks (for a limited time.)
    * He learned the secret art of picking up everyday objects and using them as weapons from an old, "wise and strange" martial arts master who lives like a hermit in the middle of nowhere.
    (Actually, when asked about his age, the master replied that he was very old for a head of lettuce, very young for a mountain, but for a man, just right.)
    *********************************************

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      #17
      Sweet Zombie Jesus that's comedy gold right there.

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        #18
        Our S.N.E.A.K. Attack System - A self defense system that almost always works.
        Yeah. Almost. :rolleyes:

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          #19
          "About fifteen years ago, he discovered that most traditional training would not be effective while under the duress of a real attack"

          In other words, he got his ass kicked.

          Also, I don't understand why he tries to impress us with his wide background in the martial arts (7th degree or whatever, 36 years of training), when earlier he has already told us that he figured out that they are all useless.

          Now, he's been training in Martial Arts for over 36 years, 15 years ago is when he "figured out" that they are useless. That means that he trained in useless martial arts for 21+ years before he finally caught on. I think this guy is a little bit slow.

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            #20
            This crap is the most disgusting shit that I have seen to date that makes me wanna hurl and makes whats on rotten.com suitable for children.

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              #21
              Originally posted by Azteca
              ...and makes whats on rotten.com suitable for children.
              ahahahaha
              MY NAME IS ANTAGONY I SUCK AT COMBAT SPORTS KTHX

              "blahblahblah, but I don't think I'm going to train tonight."
              "Fag."
              "Well if that were true, then I'd really REALLY want to come train!"

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                #22
                Pure 24 cattot BULLSHIDO !

                I feel like I'm looking at something from some bizzare parrallel universe >


                "A number of years ago I had the opportunity to spend a weekend with a very old, eccentric and wise self defense instructor. He only taught those he wanted to. I had to personally travel to his private training camp in a secluded area he owned. I also had to spend quite a bit of money and time to travel quite the distance to get there. He was highly recommended in the arts of his unusual self defense strategies.

                The 'secrets' he taught me, all had to do with using just about anything within your reach as a super powerful, extremely devastating, defensive weapon. He taught me a certain way of using these 'weapons' that was so powerful and yet so surprising that it almost always works (sorry, nothing is 100% in life)."

                Mind boggling.
                "You realise the transformations give a man enough strength to destroy a truck with his bare hands!?
                YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME, IN THE WORST POSSIBLE MANNER!!" - KiWarrior

                "Sport ? That kind of thing's not my bag baby!" - Sammy Franco

                "This system was developed with the help of notible BJJ fighter Ribbon Muchado." - "Sifu" Anthony Iglesias

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                  #23
                  Originally posted by SLJ
                  "A number of years ago I had the opportunity to spend a weekend with a very old, eccentric and wise self defense instructor. He only taught those he wanted to. I had to personally travel to his private training camp in a secluded area he owned. I also had to spend quite a bit of money and time to travel quite the distance to get there. He was highly recommended in the arts of his unusual self defense strategies.
                  Sounds like he needed to be alone in seclusion after personally screening his hand picked candidates for a one way ride to the Moon's of Jupiter.

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                    #24
                    Calgon (shakes head), ancient chinese secret huh?

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                      #25
                      I think so. A KY Jelly fueled trip to the stars.

                      In fact, that is far more believable.
                      "You realise the transformations give a man enough strength to destroy a truck with his bare hands!?
                      YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME, IN THE WORST POSSIBLE MANNER!!" - KiWarrior

                      "Sport ? That kind of thing's not my bag baby!" - Sammy Franco

                      "This system was developed with the help of notible BJJ fighter Ribbon Muchado." - "Sifu" Anthony Iglesias

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                        #26
                        This proves it is possible to completely brainwash yourself. Just because some old man lives in the woods and you have to spend alot of money to get to him, doesn't mean he knows jack shit. It means you want to believe he does.

                        All he probably got out of it was a raw and bleeding tiger balmed asshole.

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                          #27
                          I'm of the view that he's completley made the whole thing up. Look at the way he writes it. "Umm, yer, there was this old man right. And he told me a bunch of stuff in the woods about making weapons out of coke cans and old banana skins. Oh yer, and he'd only teach me, as I'm a deadly 7th Dan."

                          What a bunch of shit.

                          LOL, nice sig btw McFu.
                          "You realise the transformations give a man enough strength to destroy a truck with his bare hands!?
                          YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME, IN THE WORST POSSIBLE MANNER!!" - KiWarrior

                          "Sport ? That kind of thing's not my bag baby!" - Sammy Franco

                          "This system was developed with the help of notible BJJ fighter Ribbon Muchado." - "Sifu" Anthony Iglesias

                          Comment


                            #28
                            Sounds kind of like the plot of the movie American Ninja.

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                              #29
                              And that's never a good thing.
                              "You realise the transformations give a man enough strength to destroy a truck with his bare hands!?
                              YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME, IN THE WORST POSSIBLE MANNER!!" - KiWarrior

                              "Sport ? That kind of thing's not my bag baby!" - Sammy Franco

                              "This system was developed with the help of notible BJJ fighter Ribbon Muchado." - "Sifu" Anthony Iglesias

                              Comment


                                #30
                                "Another problem with many weapon's used for self defense, is that they 'look like' a weapon. For example, if you pull out a knife or a canister of pepper spray, it immediately tells your attacker you are a potential threat to him. It gives him the opportunity to grab it, take out and use his own weapon or to simply over power you."

                                What, so if you pick up a glass ashtray to hit him with, he'll think you're going to smoke a cigarette and not use it to clobber him with?

                                "You'll do this by learning how to apply the secrets of disguising this 'non weapon', so that you can explode into action to surprise and stun your attacker before they can even react!"

                                But since they are already attacking you, they will already be reacting to anything you do. And "explode into action"? What, just like Palestinian suicide bombers? Somebody call the Israeli Government - Shihan Michael Pace is training suicide bombers!

                                "A number of years ago I had the opportunity to spend a weekend with a very old, eccentric and wise self defense instructor. He only taught those he wanted to. I had to personally travel to his private training camp in a secluded area he owned. I also had to spend quite a bit of money and time to travel quite the distance to get there."

                                He learnt from Ashida Kim!

                                "How to turn ordinary, every day items that are within your reach into "Weapons of Mass Destruction." "

                                Somebody tell Bush and Blair! Instead of looking for secret laboratories and missiles, they should have been looking in the stationery cupboard!

                                "In your house, in the car, in the street or just taking a country walk... these weapons are everywhere... just in case you need them."

                                Translation: "Beat them to death with a rabbit".

                                "Since I am in a wheelchair, I needed something that would give me an advantage. Thanks for a great video!"

                                This man is soon to make the transition from wheelchair to coffin.

                                "Normally I Would Charge $100.00 Per Hour To Go Over This
                                Highly Specialized Training With You In Person."

                                What, he'd charge $100 an hour to show you how to hit people with objects lying around? Also, if it's 'Highly Specialized Training', how come anybody can learn it from a video?

                                "You have no risk whatsoever"

                                ...except if you try to use the techniques on the video. Also, he says quite often that he can't guarantee 100% effectiveness, and then says "You have no risk whatsoever". Hmm...

                                His wife is Sensei...I think that says a lot about how widespread his techniques are. And the testimonials aren't from people who've USED his techniques to defend themselves, only that it makes them think they can defend themselves.

                                'Shihan' Michael Pace is a 7th Dan moron.
                                Last edited by Matsufubu; 6/15/2004 9:23am, .
                                Mr Politically Correct GIJoe6186:
                                Fat people disgust me in every way imaginable. I was at Freindly's with my girl tonight and saw a bunch of fat fuckers. I felt sorry for the pavement they were killing and the people who had to see them. .

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