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Sad Bullshido work story

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    Sad Bullshido work story

    What is it about my work that attracts idiots? And this wasn't even a customer, it was a coworker(well, same company, different department).

    Anyway, I come back from the copy machine, and my coworker who does bjj(we waste alotta time at work) is talking to this other guy(named John) from some other department. They were talking about different martial arts. John was going on about how Shaolin Kung Fu was the best martial art, period. How could this art be so good? What proof did John have? Well, he used anecdotes. His first was how his 7 year old student beat a 25 year old master(yes, I know). Second, Shaolin was really, really old(6,000 years by his count). Third, a computer program had been built to simulate martial arts(I imagine Tekken style), and Shaolin had come out on top.

    Still skeptical, both my coworker and myself spoke up, talking about going to the ground, lack of nhb success, and other logical arguements. That's when he brought out the big guns. You're gonna have to follow this one closely, it requires a bit of twisted thinking.

    Why is Shaolin so good? Well, imagine you have to defend a town against a seige. You have several days to do so. How do you do it? With Shaolin! No, but the answer John gave was almost as ridiculous. You would build a 3 sided wall aroun the town. You would also leave out the north wall. Why, you might ask. Because the enemy would approach from the south, and since the earth gently slopes up, they would become tired, and thus easy to defeat. Got that? That was his example of how Shaolin Kung Fu was so much better than every other art.

    After staring dumbfounded for a second, he was called back to work, preventing my logic from destroying his arguement. My coworker and I were still unconvinced at Shaolin's effectiveness, assuming we never had to defend a village against an attacking army.

    My plan is to track him down tomorrow and invite him either to a sparring match at my school or the Chicago throwdown. Then we'll see how well his Shaolin can defend him from an army of Bullshidoka.
    Seriously, most likely grabbing somebodies crotch like that is only going to make your situation much, much worse. Unless the person doing the gullotine has no pants on, then it's okay as long as they bought you dinner first. - Kidnemo

    I don't know about angels, but it's fear that gives men wings - Max Payne

    #2
    I know Trojan wrestling,it was used during the siege of Troy when the marauding army of Agamemnon and Achilles invaded~~~
    "People think that judo is only unarmed combat - but you are never unarmed when you can hit someone with a planet. "
    - Uncyclopedia entry on Judo

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      #3
      You should buy him a copy of Shogun: Total War. Might work their.

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        #4
        Is that like gay porn?
        And that's when I figured out that tears couldn't make somebody who was dead alive again. There's another thing to learn about tears, they can't make somebody who doesn't love you any more love you again. It's the same with prayers. I wonder how much of their lives people waste crying and praying to God. If you ask me, the devil makes more sense than God does. I can at least see why people would want him around. It's good to have somebody to blame for the bad stuff they do. Maybe God's there because people get scared of all the bad stuff they do. They figure that God and the Devil are always playing this game of tug-of-war game with them. And they never know which side they're gonna wind up on. I guess that tug-of-war idea explains how sometimes, even when people try to do something good, it still turns out bad.

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          #5
          Hmmm... was that guy on crack or something?

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            #6
            Originally posted by Teryan
            You should buy him a copy of Shogun: Total War. Might work their.
            Shogun:Total War is passe,should buy medieval total war instead.......better still wait until this coming sept for Rome Total War~~~
            This is what a siege should be:
            "People think that judo is only unarmed combat - but you are never unarmed when you can hit someone with a planet. "
            - Uncyclopedia entry on Judo

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              #7
              lol...that hurt to hear. better take down the north wall of my house, since all of my enemies are getting tired at the south wall.

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                #8
                Yeah.Total-War-jutsu rulez~~~!!!
                "People think that judo is only unarmed combat - but you are never unarmed when you can hit someone with a planet. "
                - Uncyclopedia entry on Judo

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                  #9
                  whoa..i blacked out..

                  wtf is he talking about?

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                    #10
                    He'll probably feed you some line of crap about how he is a pacifist, and how it is against the ethics that his school teaches to fight.

                    Definitely invite him to a McThrowdown. If he's willing to show, he can impress everyone with his D34D1Y 5K!11Z.

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                      #11
                      Just remember not to approach the throwdown or sparring session from the south.

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                        #12
                        Wow, wow. Wow...Im sure when they fight in the ring they will make it on a slope, so the other fighters are tired when they get there.
                        Daniel: I don't know if I know enough karate.

                        Miyagi: Feeling correct.

                        Daniel: You sure know how to make a guy feel confident.

                        Miyagi: You trust the quality of what you know, not quantity.

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                          #13
                          "Third, a computer program had been built to simulate martial arts(I imagine Tekken style), and Shaolin had come out on top."

                          Ask him if they got a computer program to simulate sex would the computer blow a load?
                          "Pussyhole"

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                            #14
                            on a side note I like the new avatar Darting Fingers it's hilarious.
                            Last edited by stoogejitsu; 6/10/2004 2:37am, .

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                              #15
                              HHHHHHWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHAAAAATT??!?!??! ?!?!?!!

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