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Translation of common phrases from woman-speak into English.

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    Translation of common phrases from woman-speak into English.
    Woman-speak: "Of course I don't mind if you..."
    English: "You bet your fucking arse I DO mind. Go ahead, you WILL pay later..."

    Woman-speak: "Do you like it?"
    English: "Fucker, if you do NOT notice my new hairstyle/shoes/mail order catalogue/wall paper/trashy little knicknack/ you are fucking DEAD!

    Woman-speak: "You are an asshole"
    English: "I will be fucking your brains out in 5 minutes"

    Woman-speak: "Do you remember when you got me this?"
    English: "I KNOW you don't remember, you cunt, I'm just enjoying seeing you sweat..."

    Woman-speak: I don't love you any more.
    English: You are broke, out of work, AND I'm fucking somebody else now...

    Woman-speak: "We need to talk."
    English: "I need to waste your time."

    Woman-speak: "We need to talk."
    English: "I need to cut your balls off and tell you for the 1,000th time how you do not live up to my standards and nag you eternally and try to change you because I am a shrewish cunt. This will undoubtedly give me a stress headache - you won't be getting any pussy tonight."

    Women-speak: "I'm tired."
    English: "I'm blaming you unfairly for my weight gain and my self-image problems, and you won't be getting any pussy tonight."

    Woman-speak: "Let's just meet for coffee."
    English: "You won't be getting any pussy tonight."

    Woman-speak: "Oh, I don't care what we do."
    English: "Even if you read my mind and figure out exactly what I want, the odds of you getting any pussy tonight are 115:1."

    Woman-speak: "You like that football sweatshirt because you went to school there, right?"
    English: "I tell all my friends you dress like a fucking slob and I'll be engaging in my manipulative 'you need to wear what I say is good or you won't get any pussy tonight' behavior soon."

    Woman-speak: "Are you going to wear that shirt to the wedding?"
    English: "I know these are the clothes I fell in love with you in, but now that I want to own you, they just won't do. Being the bossy cunt that I am, I need to re-do your entire wardrobe. I'll be too tired tonight from shopping to suck your dick for the next 15 years."

    Woman-speak: "Do I look fat in this?"
    English: " I need CREDIBLE reassurance that I am NOT a 350lb MacDonalds hog, with a sagging gut and dropping ass..."

    Woman-speak: "I love you"
    English: "You are quite a good fuck, and are solvent. My pussy is yours until something better comes along."
    English (alternative): "I want something from you."

    Woman-speak: "How thoughful of you!"
    English: "Pussy whipped asshole, you are gonna have to do a LOT better than that to get some this year, let alone tonight. Suck up HARDER!"

    Woman-speakS: Are you coming to bed now?
    English: I'm going to tease you with sex to get you to drop whatever you're doing, come up stairs, and cuddle me, but you're still not getting any pussy.

    Woman-speak: "You are not the man I married"
    English: "In spite of years of manipulation, ridicule and doing my best to mind fuck you on a daily basis to change you into what I want, you have resisted me. Fuck you, no more sex, get out of my life..."

    Woman-speak: "I do"
    English: "No more blowjobs"

    Woman-speak: "I can't find a good man to marry"
    English: "I wasted my life focusing on my hate for men, and now I am fucked, the women's movement has destroyed my life"

    sites you should check out:

    Arthur Schopenhauer's (famous 19th century philosopher) essay "On Women"

    Friedrich Nietzsche on women and marriage

    Sex=Ploytation -


      You've got problems. Serious problems.
      So I'm going to do something for you.
      I'm going to to tell you to shut the fuck up.
      And tell you that you are:
      1.) Your a pathetic excuse for a human being.
      2.) You can't come to term's with your problems, your cry's for help are almost as loud as your whining and immaturity to deal with your problem.
      3.) You bring up studies from a bogus joke site, the only one taken it seriously is probaly a handful of people with problems.

      So again I'm going to tell you to Shut the Fuck up, this is a MARTIAL ARTS site, not a outlet for your problems. No one here is going to to help you, no one here cares, so stop your whining, shut the fuck up, and find a good shrink.
      "ARGH SURF NINJAS *implodes* " the cruel fate of Stold3


        I don't normally call people this, but Strangler, you are the biggest retard I have ever met. Seriously, your a terrible troll. Go away, or stop.

        This isn't the fucking 18th century dude.
        :qleft1: :new_cussi :qmickey: :evil7: :XXcat: :XXfish: :5crackup:


          STFU, n00b.


            Re: Translation of common phrases from woman-speak into English.

            what i meant to say was:

            Originally posted by Strangler
            STFU, n00b!



              Sirs, a GOOD woman is hard to find, on this much I'll agree. The rest is BS.
              Get laid a bit more often, and you won't need any dictionary. The really important things just aren't SAID.


                F em if they cant take a joke!

                As one of the few happily married man in the world, I STILL know that all women speak that code! Anyone beyond the age of zygote should understand that while perhaps not all women are as shrewish as the code may indicate...they DO all speak it.

                Take it with a grain of salt! Unless of course you are a married woman...and therefore dont, take it, anymore.


                  Let's does that anti-successory go...? The only common thread in all your failed relationships is YOU.

                  This isn't woman speak, it's neurosis speak. Independently unfulfilled (unfulfilling) people tend to find and exploit eachother . Of course, that can't work and just leads to the bitter, scape-goating tripe like this.

                  A joke is a joke, but this definitly has a hard, genuine edge of....recruitment, it seems.
                  Last edited by Nid; 1/04/2004 12:36pm, .


                    Being totally fluent in woman-speak... I have a few things you should know

                    #1 - We only refer to OTHER WOMEN as "cunt"
                    #2 - We never use the word "cunt" when talking about ourselves
                    #3 - We never think you aren't getting any pussy - we have made that decision when you started being an ass, we are just letting you know that it is better for your genitals if you don't try.
                    #4 - You are confusing when a woman says she hates you and when a man says he hates you. When a woman says she hates you it means "touch me and expect to be a Bobbit clone" when a guy says it us women know he plans on trying to fuck us.
                    #5 - You will never have to worry about it anyway, no woman cares to deal with an excuse making, whiney, small minded man.

                    When you start to understand these things, then you may mature enough to interest some vacuous girl. When you understand that thinking about someone other than yourself and your worthless dick you might actually be on the road to being looked at by a woman.


                      Ah, Strangler...still trying to find excuses for his 30+ years of virginity...

                      By the way, it doesn't count if you have to pay for it, no matter what your friends said.
                      That civilisation may not sink,
                      Its great battle lost,
                      Quiet the dog, tether the pony
                      To a distant post;
                      Our master Caesar is in the tent
                      Where the maps are spread,
                      His eyes fixed upon nothing,
                      A hand under his head.

                      - W.B. Yeats


                        I just avoid the normal kind of "woman". I found the geeks/nerds/freaks (the good kind of weird, not psychotic) and what not who aren't with the normal crowd are a lot more sociable, nice, and just more FUN when you get them to come out of their shell.

                        They are also more likely to share interests with you... ya know, might like video games or cars or porn instead of "Shopping" *say that with a valley girl accent for maximum effect*. And they're just bottled up sexual frustration... just bring a few towels. And don't have any plans the next day.
                        Katana, on 540 kicks: "Hang from a ceiling fan with both hands. Flail your feet out and ask people to walk into you as you hit their face."


                          Go Shar!

                          Ah, Strangler...still trying to find excuses for his 30+ years of virginity...

                          By the way, it doesn't count if you have to pay for it, no matter what your friends said
                          :qleft1: :new_cussi :qmickey: :evil7: :XXcat: :XXfish: :5crackup:


                            You ALWAYS pay for it.

                            At least with a hooker its cut and dry.
                            Katana, on 540 kicks: "Hang from a ceiling fan with both hands. Flail your feet out and ask people to walk into you as you hit their face."


                              I speak human, myself.
                              Monkey Ninjas! Attack!



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