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Things I learned from "House of 1000 Corpses"

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    Things I learned from "House of 1000 Corpses"

    1. When at dinner with people who bring the pickled fetal corpse of their dead baby to the table, try not to antagonise them.

    2. Guys in perpetual clown make-up just MIGHT NOT be your friend.

    3. DO NOT EAT fried chicken from a roadside store that displays lots of stuff about cannibal serial killers.

    4. When confronted with a long corridor hung with the decaying bodies of murder victims, proceed at a snappish pace, walking down the center of the aisle.

    5. If in above mentioned corridor, do not stagger from side to side, causing the withered heads and hands of hanging corpses to fall on you, thus prompting you to scream and blunder into YET ANOTHER corpse.

    6. Unstoppable, heavily armed zombie fluke-faced killing machines can be foiled by ... well, basically by DUCKING.

    7. If you MUST get into a convertable driven by a man in clown make-up, check the back seat for serial killers before relaxing.
    Monkey Ninjas! Attack!

    You ACTUALLY watched the movie?
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      It oozes a sort of demented fascination, in a "God-I-wish-I-had-brain-damage-and-couldn't-understand-this" way.
      Monkey Ninjas! Attack!



        rack up another point for the brain damaged people

        This chapter will also show clips from a high-speed video in which Master Bristol conceals a Swiss Army Knife inside his buttocks. -from "The Magicians Code" by Hans Bristol


          I know we tend to throw this term around loosely, but Rob Zombie is a Post Mondo genius...


            You really do throw it around too much.


              8. Never watch a movie where the directors last name is Zombie (or any other undead creature)
              The Wastrel - So attractive he HAS to be a woman.
              - Pizdoff


                9. (a) Fuck yo momma!
                9. (b) Fuck yo sister!
                9. (c) Fuck yo grandma!
                9. (d) But most of all FUCK YOU BLAM BLAM
                Captain's Log: Just a little update for all my TRUE and HONEST friends out there:

                1) I am STRAIGHT! I am STRAIGHT! Get it through your thick skulls, numbskulls!

                2) My name is not Ian Brandon Something.

                3) Kacey is coming with me now. I have stolen her from the other Christian Weston Chandler.

                REMINDER: I am still the one and only true creator of sonichu and rosechu electric hedgehog pokemon



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