I need a job.

[MEGA JESUS-SAMA]

The summer job I had planned fell through the floor, so I need ideas on a different, better summer job. I'm thinking astronaut.

[Anna Kovacs]

I'd try to be either a police officer or president, or maybe a fireman or a secret agent.

[MEGA JESUS-SAMA]

I couldn't find any openings for president in the classifides.

[Anna Kovacs]

Wait a couple more years.

[VikingPower]

Just find yourself a sugar momma.

[Doctor X]

Can you say, "Do you want fries with that?"

--J. "Would You Like to DipaSize that for a Quarter?" D.

[MEGA JESUS-SAMA]

My acne isn't bad enough nor is my voice squeeky enough to work at a fast food joint.

[VikingPower]

My acne isn't bad enough nor is my voice squeeky enough to work at a fast food joint.

Just do door to door sales. Be like the Girl Scouts, just with a lot more expensive candy.

[Goju - Joe]

Isn't there a position somewhere for professional archer?

How about a Renaissance festival?

You would get to wear a nifty outfit

[Teh El Macho]

Can you say, "Do you want fries with that?"

--J. "Would You Like to DipaSize that for a Quarter?" D.

Shit! You beat me to it!!!

What he said... if nothing else, hamburger-flippying-fu can do the trick.

My acne isn't bad enough nor is my voice squeeky enough to work at a fast food joint.

In that case, just do what Koto suggested. Get a sugar momma, preferably somebody in her 60's and incredibly fat... kinda like her...

[MEGA JESUS-SAMA]

In that case, just do what Koto suggested. Get a sugar momma, preferably somebody in her 60's and incredibly fat... kinda like her...

Why is an overweight senior citizen preferable to, say, a young, rich woman with huge tits?

[VikingPower]

Why is an overweight senior citizen preferable to, say, a young, rich woman with huge tits?

Young and rich is always good.

[Teh El Macho]

Why is an overweight senior citizen preferable to, say, a young, rich woman with huge tits?

Man, I always wish to have 1 mill mansion in the Bahamas where every night I have a menage troi with Jennifer Anitson, Eva Longoria and Demi Moore... shit, it ain't gonna happen!!! :tongue3:

... and a rich young woman with huge tits ain't gonna happen for ya either!

Ok, let's break this in a logical manner.

A rich young woman with huge tits is certainly preferable than an overweight senior citizen... BUT, but definition, much young women with huge tits are not rich, or if they are rich, they don't have huge tits (presenting evidence... Paris Hilton).

Furthermore, young women with huge tits tend to flock around incredibly old men with shitloads of money... kinda flies on fruit... or shit. Actually no, more like sharks around a bleeding, decrepit, toothless walruss. They plan to fuck the old man to death, and then inherit the money which they will spend very quickly in orgies, alcohol, more silicon implants and sugar candy.

You are not rich, and you are not old. Ergo, rich young women with huge tits are not available to you.

On the other hand an overweight senile rich woman is going to be dying for some carnal luuuuuuuv... here you step in. You sex her out to death and then you inherit the moolah. Simple.

Don't question my wisdom young man. Just take a shot of whiskey, close your eyes and pretent she is Britney Spears or something...

[GoldenJonas]

Don't question my wisdom young man. Just take a shot of whiskey, close your eyes and pretent she is Britney Spears or something...

Or Kevin Federline, whichever floats your listing boat.

[Teh El Macho]

^^^ BWYHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!