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China, Hong Kong, 3 months

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    China, Hong Kong, 3 months

    Holy Crap, I'm going to china for 3 months: 1/2 business, 1/2 fun.

    Beijing, Shanghai, Fuzhou, Fujian, Hunan and I'm going to go to the place that Kui Chang Cain learned it all: Xiao Lin Si, for purely tourist reasons. Yes, I'm quite sure the fine xiao lin monks will open their arms to another big fat white guy with a camera and teach me their ultimate killing snake style kung fu. The best thing about it is, it's technically a business trip, so a fuck ton of this is going to be tax deductible. I wonder how much bail is in china? Who cares, beer only costs a quarter and I'll figure everything else out after I sober up.

    The second best thing is, now that I'm going to go to china I can start planning on opening my own Kung Fu school so I can be as bad ass as the Iron Palms guy and then I'll set my sights on Frank Dux and go to Hong Kong!

    I can see it now, battling hordes of ninja's in the snow in downtown Hong Kong. Then all I have to do is find out where teh Kumite is and beat down a chinese guy with freakishly huge pectorals. Its so simple. I can say I'm a white guy with absolutely no varifiable lineage, claim a fictional japanese martial art, and their sure to want to kick my ass. The name Ashida Kim is already taken so, I'll be sure to come up with a better name, if that's even possible.

    Yeah, I'm gonna be the man. I'll take pictures of everything, this should be great.
    A lie gets half-way around the world before the truth has time to get it's pants on. - Winston Churchhill

    #2
    When drinking you must try the Ergoutou. It is strong, inexpensive and has a taste that you will never forget.

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      #3
      Originally posted by Astrosmurf
      When drinking you must try the Ergoutou. It is strong, inexpensive and has a taste that you will never forget.
      So does turpentine and rubbing alcohol, but i'm not drinking it. From what I hear, Ergoutou will give you a hangover that rivals both of them together.
      A lie gets half-way around the world before the truth has time to get it's pants on. - Winston Churchhill

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        #4
        Yes it is vile but I have actually enjoyed it once. I was eating at Sichuan restuarant in Beijing and the amount of chili and huajiao in the food was immense. My mouth hurt on both the inside and the outside. Any other alchohol would probably have left no taste at all at that point, but the Ergoutou was actually enjoyable.

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          #5
          Well, technically, I'll be attending a wedding... er, my own, in china. I'm already married but we haven't been back to china to hold the wedding there. So, this is going to be a very drunken adventure. Since you've already been to china, you may know that weddings involve lots and lots of alcohol for the groom. It's tradition that everyone you see give a drink and of course, you're obliged to drink it. We're going to have about 1,000 attendees. Not only that, they'll be trying especially hard to ply me with alcohol because I'm a huge meiguoren and they'll want to see how much I drink before I'm totally sloshed.

          This will be an adventure and a half. It's a good thing I'm a recovered alcoholic... I'd hate to dissappoint them. My plan is to get a light beer and keep drinking them non-stop. I'd rather get piss drunk on pilsner than take my chances with maotai.
          Last edited by Sun Wukong; 10/27/2005 3:28am, .
          A lie gets half-way around the world before the truth has time to get it's pants on. - Winston Churchhill

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            #6
            I married in Beijing. I had to take a drink or two at every table (small round tables with about 7 persons at them). Not to big though, around 50 guests. Drank alot of moutai that day.

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              #7
              Moutai eh?

              Is that the southeast asian drink that's infamous for kneeing you in the face?

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                #8
                The Shaolin temple is very touristy these days. I went about 3 or 4 years ago. You won't even get to see too many monks as you are going to the temple at the base of the mountain, not the monastaries where they really train. Lots of side of the road vendors on the way up and kung fu camps/schools nearby.

                There are a shitload of wood statues of monks that you'll be able to see though!

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                  #9
                  So are you allowed to visit the monastary where they really train?

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                    #10
                    One of the temples actually sells "shaolin fries"... yay commercialism

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                      #11
                      If you decide to go looking at the Great Wall don't go to Badaling. A bit further away but a much nicer place to do it at is Simatai

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                        #12
                        Better start training now for the drinking. That is also a custom in many Vietnamese weddings, but I have been informed that I will NOT have the opportunity to do that at my own wedding. Damn shame really.



                        Something about an unfair weight advantage.





                        I only had a few types of beer in China (Qingdao and Snow), so I am curious if you know of any good brands?

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                          #13
                          Shaolin Si. Xiao means little, Shao -- in this case -- means young.

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                            #14
                            Originally posted by Quikfeet509
                            .

                            I only had a few types of beer in China (Qingdao and Snow), so I am curious if you know of any good brands?
                            Most of them are simple lagers with no particular depth. Good on a warm day, nothing fancy. Beijing beer (preferably on tap) drunk during the heat of Beijing summer is fine. I think they have some rice in it.

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                              #15
                              Originally posted by Sirc
                              Moutai eh?

                              Is that the southeast asian drink that's infamous for kneeing you in the face?
                              Best description I've heard of it yet.

                              When are you out here?

                              It's a shame you won't be makingt it through Shaanxi but if you do, drop me a line. If you are going to be around during the spring holiday I might be able to drop you a line via Beijing, I like to go there and fuck around whenever I have an excuse. I may also be taking a brief trip to Hong Kong myself, for business reasons, and if the timing works out I'd love to take you out for a dimsum if it's Hong Kong, a regular dinner if it's anywhere on the mainland.

                              As a hardened Chinese Moonshine veteran I can tell you.....Ergutou is the night train of baijiu and baijiu is already the painthinner or the booze world. You'll hate it all no matter what you drink but the Sichuan baijiu tends to go down better for me. I can't believe I actually have favorite brands . . . *hic* If there's someone around translating for you one of the things to check on about booze....is if it is in fact grain alcohol vs. industrially manufactured alcohol, which they actually often use in cheaper brands to modulate the alcohol content.

                              I did the "ceremony" you talked about for weddings where you have to toast everybody but I did it at my dicsipleship ceremony. 2 of my new "brothers" took me home and assisted my walking back to my flat.
                              Fighting evil and upholding justice in blue silk pajamas baby!
                              http://youtube.com/watch?v=UGaYD_wcaIg

                              http://youtube.com/watch?v=6Uepo9ahg-M

                              Bah!!! Puny Humans.


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