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Another reason to not trust the ladies...

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    Another reason to not trust the ladies...


    #2
    Clearly, the only solution is to not raise any children at all, even if they are your own.

    PL

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      #3
      And in some states, if you can't afford the test, you can ask the State to pay for it, but you have to ask.

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        #4
        If the guy really thinks this is the most dramatic effect of a family discovering that the supposed father is not the real father - he really needs to take a vacation in the real world.

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          #5
          A baby is a baby. So what if you don't donate the genetic material. If at night, when you hear the cry of "Daddy" and it is in refernec to you, then the kid is yours. That's all that matters.

          We get to hung up on the "Whose the Daddy?" bit. If you want out of the relationship, out of being a dad, you have an obligation to the child to do it before it's born. Once the kids there, and you've held it in your arms, it's too late. It's your's, you're daddy, and you have a responsibility to raise the child regardless of genes.

          We have enough problems with fatherless homes that we don't need to give shitty men another excuse for walking away from the family. Gang banging, teenage promescuity, drug use, jail time, those are the results of fathers walking out on kids.

          Kids need dads, and if you are there when they are born, regardless of whose sperm did the deed. You're it, bitches need to man up and take responsibility.

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            #6
            Actually I think the important part would be to raise the child as your own, but have an agreement with the wife that since she strayed and lied about it, you can sleep with one of her friends. Or sister. Or instead of sex, maybe to make up for the infidelity you get a plasma TV.

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              #7
              Yet in many animal groups, new dominant males will purposely kill cubs that aren't theirs, especially if the oestrus cycle in the females is strongly tied to rearing young. It's the whole "progagate your DNA into the next generation" drive.

              I'm not saying this is the model for human society, but there may be an instinctual aversion to raising children not your own. That's not counting the psychological effects of a daily reminder that one's spouse has been unfaithful.

              We do need to insure that parents provide for and nurture their children for all the reasons PeterH cited above but let's not pretend that it can't be hard for the parents involved. It's hard enough sometimes with kids that are 100% yours.

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                #8
                Wait, so people have unwanted kids? And there are people starving in Africa? I think I have an idea...

                PL

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by HoneyBadger
                  Yet in many animal groups, new dominant males will purposely kill cubs that aren't theirs, especially if the oestrus cycle in the females is strongly tied to rearing young. It's the whole "progagate your DNA into the next generation" drive.

                  I'm not saying this is the model for human society, but there may be an instinctual aversion to raising children not your own. That's not counting the psychological effects of a daily reminder that one's spouse has been unfaithful.

                  We do need to insure that parents provide for and nurture their children for all the reasons PeterH cited above but let's not pretend that it can't be hard for the parents involved. It's hard enough sometimes with kids that are 100% yours.
                  I call Bullshit on instinctual aversion and daily reminder. We don't eat our young in times of famine or draught, and if she cheated divorce her if you want to, but take care of the kid.

                  Sure, being a parent is hard. I'm single and raising two daughters (one is mine genetically, the other is by another man, but she calls me daddy and she'll never know any different). If it wasn't for a very caring and understanding girlfriend who realizes that I can't just leave my house at nights to take her places, I would have no social life.

                  But guess what, that's life.

                  When you decide that you are going to have kids, raise a family, your life ceases to be about you. It's about them, and preparing them to raise their family.

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                    #10
                    Originally posted by Poop-Loops
                    Wait, so people have unwanted kids? And there are people starving in Africa? I think I have an idea...

                    PL
                    I'll see your idea and raise you a modest proposal.

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                      #11
                      My cousin went through this...
                      His girlfrien got pregnant, (they were both 17 thought he was the father of a boy untill the boy was two, my uncle said, " That boy doesn't look like you", enough times until he got a paternity test, and figured out it wasn't his.

                      Bad for everybody all around.

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                        #12
                        Originally posted by Peter H.
                        We don't eat our young in times of famine or draught, and if she cheated divorce her if you want to, but take care of the kid.
                        Meh, divorce her and let the biological father take care of the kid.

                        But if the child has been around long enough for one to form a bond with him, then get sole custody of the child. If she can't stay faithful in marriage, she probably isn't great mother material either.

                        Originally posted by Poop-Loops
                        Wait, so people have unwanted kids? And there are people starving in Africa? I think I have an idea...
                        Not so fast, we should take care of the domestic starvation problems first.

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                          #13
                          So... Should a guy go to prison for not supporting a child that is not of their loins?

                          Is there some sort of paternal estoppel going on here?

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                            #14
                            I think you have a moral obligation to take care of a child once it recognizes you as "Daddy". I know that legally there isn't one, unless you are the biological father.

                            I think there should be a point, after a period of time, regardless of genetic make-up, where you have assumed responsibility for the welfare of a child that you become legally obligated to continue that support until they are an adult.

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                              #15
                              Originally posted by Peter H.
                              When you decide that you are going to have kids, raise a family, your life ceases to be about you. It's about them, and preparing them to raise their family.
                              What he said. Having a child means you need to be the adult in the relationship. This requires emotional maturity. You place the childs needs above your own. This may mean caring for a child that is not your offspring. So what? Does that lessen the child's right to be raised by a loving parent? If you don't do it then who will?
                              Shut the hell up and train.

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