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birds and the bees

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    birds and the bees

    my mom, she wanted to have a discussion with me about sex, because im at that age where i'll be having sex.

    mom: rub, there's something i want to talk to yo...
    rub: shut up nigga woman!
    mom: that's no way to talk to your mothe..
    rub: bitch!
    *kills her*

    your mom: hey rub lets have sex
    rub: bend over muthafucka.

    I'll hate my mom for the rest of her life for how she explained sex to me. Or rather, LET TONY DANZA explain sex to me. I was about nine years old, on my third trip to Disney World. We were in Epcot center, enjoying...well, whatever the hell is in Epcot center. I really don't remember. I do know, however, that there was an IMAX presentation called "The Making of Me" wherein Tony "God's Mistake" Danza explained the process of knocking up my mom with the help of thousands of animated sperm cells going "YEE-HAW!" as they "hung ten" down Mom's fallopian tubes. As we left the presentation, mom seemed visibly relieved and said offhandedly "Glad we finally got THAT out of the way."

    And you all wonder how I turned out like this.

    Edited by - boyd on February 24 2003 00:15:46
    Captain's Log: Just a little update for all my TRUE and HONEST friends out there:

    1) I am STRAIGHT! I am STRAIGHT! Get it through your thick skulls, numbskulls!

    2) My name is not Ian Brandon Something.

    3) Kacey is coming with me now. I have stolen her from the other Christian Weston Chandler.

    REMINDER: I am still the one and only true creator of sonichu and rosechu electric hedgehog pokemon



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